horrible cheater

[GratedTopping]

Here's what's happened with my first relationship in adulthood.

* She never got me anything, not at Christmas or birthday; even a response
to one of my text messages would have been nice.

* She wanted to be intimate quickly, but I was afraid 'cause it was
all new to me; turned out that was best 'cause of her STD that
she told me about a couple days before she cheated on me

* She mentioned she would never give up her weed for anybody; I asked
about "What if we needed the money for something else?" and she
got irritated, said she would just get another job, and that
she was uncomfortable with me

* I had a pregnant friend that she knew about. I was told that
it was okay for me to accompany her to this doc's appointment; two
days after, she didn't even know who that person was and freaked
out. Immediately tried to get with the son of another friend of
mine, wanting to get high and make out with him. He didn't and
called here a wh*re; she ended up going with a guy more than 20
years older than she.

* She told me once that if someone cheats on her, she does the same
in retaliation; evidently, even if she only thinks so. She said
that if someone accuses her of cheating without confronting her,
the relationship is over. Then, she does. it.

* I 'gave her my heart' a couple days before she lost it. I also
learned later that she had this sudden, false believe that I
never wanted a child with her in the future. When I told her
eventually that she was mistaken, she said "I gotta go." and hung
up.

It seems that she overreacts & reads into things & I know that she's mentally ill, too. She tried to turn the tables on me to make me feel like the bad guy. She's a manipulative, lying, pothead who prefers getting drunk or high instead of us. She never loved me. I'm not a bad person for wanting her to get better with her addictions. Yet she had no intention of getting help. She told a friend of mine that "I know he doesn't smoke, drink or use drugs and he's a virgin, but I want my weed." I didn't want her doing so much stuff along with prescription drugs; I cared about her & didn't want her with a possibly-abusive drunk. She was safe with me.

She ruined our plans of marriage, child (I was interested in being a father), and my honest love for her. Hers -- if it existed at all -- was gone so immediately and doesn't care one bit.

[Old Shoes]

Grated Topping,

I am so sorry for what has happened to you.

Are you still with her? Honestly, I hope you are not.

While it is noble and compassionate to try to save someone, you cannot save them from themselves.

[Roulette]

Hey GT some feedback from someone who was stupid enough to marry and a similar wh0re to girlfriend:

1. She was diseased before she met you (STD)
2. She doesn't give a **** about you. (No gifts)
3. She dissed you to your buddies. (the virgin thing)
4. She's a malicious vengeful little b1tch to go screw someone else because of her paranoid suspicions.
5. She lied to you (about kids) and will continue to do so then tried to guilt trip you.
MOST IMPORTANTLY
6. She's a drug addict! They will do and say anything to get their next fix. She's prepared to forgo food for drugs. She's prepared to f*ck anyone for her fix.

My wh0re wasn't a drug addict -- instead she caused me to become one. Read my story here to find out where you're going to end up in a couple of years time if you carry on with this relationship.

I sense that you're venting anger at the moment. Cool! That's perfectly OK. Dude, I don't care if you're a virgin or not, it has no bearing on this. Here's what I do care about: YOU ARE A MAN. You don't need or deserve someone like this in your life. Someone who is going to ruin you and prevent you from finding another lady who will love and respect you for your values and who you are.

I know you want to fix her and protect her. Sorry, you can't and it's not your job. Move on. There are better fish in the sea that the mud sucker you first pulled.

[GratedTopping]

Originally Posted by Old Shoes

Grated Topping,

I am so sorry for what has happened to you.

Are you still with her? Honestly, I hope you are not.

While it is noble and compassionate to try to save someone, you cannot save them from themselves.

No, I'm not with her. I'm not the kind she wants anyway and I'm okay with that. It really hurt because I thought not being a certain way was positive.
She was terrible for trying to make this breakup my fault for not accepting her. I never was forcing her to stop her addictions; I did wanted her to cut down a bit. Schizophrenia + prescriptions + daily weed + beer = can't be a good thing. And I only brought it up one time and that set her off.

Now, It was still tough for me to have even ended the friendship. I mean, I was in love for the first time. Then, suddenly, we're strangers. In spite of everything, I admit that it feels a bit 'wrong', but it's for the best. I did nothing wrong & at least I have that: she did tell me that "You did nothing wrong." And apology for cheating would have been better.

When I met her a month or so ago, that sucked. How dare she even say "Hello." to me? I guess I'm glad that I didn't call her some name or whatever because that would have ultimately made her think "I'm glad he's gone."

For never having a girlfriend in adulthood before, I did well. For now, I'm spending a lot of time with many women (in a friendship-only way) and I feel appreciated. Hearing compliments from others like "You're a gentleman." or "There's a 'warmness' about you." have surprised me and I've been learning a lot about myself.

I hope she felt bad that day; I hope she does another day. I'm glad that I looked awesome that last time we met. Some of the money I was saving up for the future went to a vacation with my buddies and gifts to friends.

I didn't deserve her cruelty, but I survived.

[Old Shoes]

Grated Topping,

It may hurt for awhile, but in all honesty, you are so much better off. You're right. You did not deserve her cruelty. Now, dust yourself off, put a smile on your face, don't look back, and find someone who will love you completely and honestly. She's out there. Don't give up.

[GratedTopping]

Thanks for your input, "Roulette".

1. She was diseased before she met you (STD)

I could give her 'credit' for at least not keeping that away. When she talked to that guy on the phone, trying to get with him for what she thought I did, she told him of her affliction and he called her a 'fu**ing wh*re'. I'm glad that guy stuck up for me and I thanked him.

2. She doesn't give a **** about you. (No gifts)

I think even a guy would want like something. I remember Christmas day, I wanted to quickly go over and see her/give her a hug + a gift, but she didn't want that 'cause her mom was around.

5. She lied to you (about kids) and will continue to do so then tried to guilt trip you.

Yeah, she was flip-flopping on that. I let her know early on that it couldn't happen until I was married and she liked that. We even spoke of possible adoption instead. She at first said it was okay if we didn't have a child ("It's tough raising kids. I don't necessarily want kids; I already have two.") All the while, she was telling a friend of ours that she wanted a child and -- when she started thinking I never wanted this -- she got more confused.

6. She's a drug addict! They will do and say anything to get their next fix. She's prepared to forgo food for drugs. She's prepared to f*ck anyone for her fix.

I knew nothing about drugs or drinking either. Even if it was 'just' weed, I mean too much has to be too much. And it was screwing with her mind more. Yep, she's did said that she'd just get another job if she needed money for something else. I can't imagine how terrible it would have been if we were married and she did something like this. Or if a child was involved. And...would she have wanted to 'raise' a child on substances, which is how she said she was???

It's been a bit crazy for me -- to actually have turned away a few people (who have better character) just because I don't want to get burned again. Of course, a next time wouldn't just be from thinking "Wow! Someone likes me!" I know more of what I want in a person.

[GratedTopping]

I thank you very much, too, "Old Shoes". I've never been treated with such insensitivity.
Some people say to try and understand more that it was her mental illness; but others say that's just an excuse and she's a person with loose morals and character. I go with that one. Ultimately, she knew what she was doing and didn't care because she's done it before.

Originally Posted by Old Shoes

Grated Topping,

It may hurt for awhile, but in all honesty, you are so much better off. You're right. You did not deserve her cruelty. Now, dust yourself off, put a smile on your face, don't look back, and find someone who will love you completely and honestly. She's out there. Don't give up.

[Roulette]

Final comment from me...

HOOORAY!!! You're going to get better pal. One day she's going to bump into you again... and when that day happens you're going to have a REAL WOMAN hanging on your arm.

A woman that appreciates you, gives you gifts and satisfies your every emotional need. And when that day happens that sl*t will be be bitter as she realizes what she flushed down the toilet. Oh, and when you see her she'll be such a fat, ugly, drugged out waste that you'll wonder, "What the hell was I thinking. How on earth could I have had any feelings for this piece of garbage."

Happy travels.

[GratedTopping]

It's been there a while; I guess I was really upset when I did this:



I feel it's deserved, though, and it's pretty tame compared to emotional confusion I had. One day I felt in love and the next, sudden abandonment.

You know, she even lied to me when she told me that she was going to work on cutting down on her addiction because she care about me. I told her that was good for her; and good for us.

Yet she told her friend she was just going to say that to appease me. You don't just immediately abandon someone...and have fun doing it! I was shocked at how much she did things, but I never said I was leaving.

I think I had a reasonable question to ask and there was nothing wrong with caring. I am so glad that I didn't give into temptation -- especially if she was high when she was with me and I didn't know it. She's going to get easily taken advantage of; she told that guy she called when she thought I cheated that "I get horny when I smoke weed."

Yeah, I know that some people might say that I shouldn't have gotten revenge like that, but I still see it as something not that bad compared to stalkers or abusers.

I still wanna know what people think. Leave comment on that page, too, if desired. I think I added a funny picture to it as well.

[Doofus McDoofus]

Originally Posted by GratedTopping

It's been there a while; I guess I was really upset when I did this:



I feel it's deserved, though, and it's pretty tame compared to emotional confusion I had. One day I felt in love and the next, sudden abandonment.

You know, she even lied to me when she told me that she was going to work on cutting down on her addiction because she care about me. I told her that was good for her; and good for us.

Yet she told her friend she was just going to say that to appease me. You don't just immediately abandon someone...and have fun doing it! I was shocked at how much she did things, but I never said I was leaving.

I think I had a reasonable question to ask and there was nothing wrong with caring. I am so glad that I didn't give into temptation -- especially if she was high when she was with me and I didn't know it. She's going to get easily taken advantage of; she told that guy she called when she thought I cheated that "I get horny when I smoke weed."

Yeah, I know that some people might say that I shouldn't have gotten revenge like that, but I still see it as something not that bad compared to stalkers or abusers.

I still wanna know what people think. Leave comment on that page, too, if desired. I think I added a funny picture to it as well.

While the whole profile on your ex is ok, Id suggest you leave it at that. she has been exposed. The other stuff on that site with getting revenge is just another way of keeping this going. Sure it may feel good, but serves no purpose.

In reality, I learned here that the best revenge you can possibly get is by making her as insignificant as possible. if you keep her as much out of your life as possible, it is much easier to move forward.

someone here once said something that really stuck with me. The opposite of love is indifference, because to exhibit hate shows you still care.

Id move forward with indifference as much as possible in this case.