Dilemma

[xenthius]

I got a bit of a dilemma, I think my wife may be cheating on me but don't know. My wife just last weekend went to spend a few days with her best girlfriend out of state. We haven't been intimate for a while and we were last night. Usually she tends to be very tight after a long time of no intimacy but last night she wasn't. I also noticed that she hid the dirty laundry from me after coming back from her trip, didnt mention much about it. From what I have gathered they been out a few times late at night. She also been closing webpages on her laptop when I have been walking by and keeps changing passwords on her cellphone on regular basis. She been very defensive in general when I made comment on lack of intimacy on her part, her avoidance of me. Any advice on what I could do?
Thanks

[omniglh]

Originally Posted by xenthius

I got a bit of a dilemma, I think my wife may be cheating on me but don't know. My wife just last weekend went to spend a few days with her best girlfriend out of state. We haven't been intimate for a while and we were last night. Usually she tends to be very tight after a long time of no intimacy but last night she wasn't. I also noticed that she hid the dirty laundry from me after coming back from her trip, didnt mention much about it. From what I have gathered they been out a few times late at night. She also been closing webpages on her laptop when I have been walking by and keeps changing passwords on her cellphone on regular basis. She been very defensive in general when I made comment on lack of intimacy on her part, her avoidance of me. Any advice on what I could do?
Thanks

Install a keylogger on her laptop. Spector Pro is what I have (there is a link on the front page of chatcheaters.com) and it works great. Takes a screenshot with every mouse click, records every keystroke. It's uncovered A LOT of stuff for me on my wife.

[SocalSadness]

Hold your horses!

I'd start by asking her to sit down for a serious talk instead of wasting time and money. Be assertive NOT aggressive. Tell her your concearns and your observations. Tell her you love her and are worried. You might want to write a script that keeps your language from making her close up and become defensive. She's your wife, man, you should begin by trying to comunicate w/her. Give her the benefit of the doubt, request honesty, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

My very best Alohas -Socal

[xenthius]

I appreciate all the advice and support. I found out that she had met a young man while on a cruise with her friend last year. I also found out that she had stayed in touch with this guy. I ended up confronting her on this, as she said that she met some people but she spent all her time with her friend only. She told me that she is only friends and that she helped him out with his girlfriend that he is very much in love with. Appernetly she had a couple of abortions with him (she is only 21) etc etc etc. He was very respectful and a very nice guy. She left a lot of blanks and I think she may have been lying but since I can't prove her wrong its a difficult decision to make. I told her that I was very upset, I trusted her and she keeps this relationships behind my back adn even lied about it. I even asked her if she saw him last week when she was in Florida, she said she ran into him with his girlfriend at the mall. What are the odds of this in Fort Lauderdale??????
I still love her but I lost a lot of trust in her. I asked her to stop talking to this guy. Friendship with younger single men may not appropriate.

[demoralized]

The "blanks" are there for a reason, she wants you to fill them in with what you want to believe, not the truth.

The old, he was having problems with his relationship bit, is just that, old.

There are too many coincidences here, take it from someone that has been through it. She did it.

I am sorry to be so blunt, and possibly discourage you, but you need to know, and she needs to fess up.

Where there is smoke there is fire my friend.

Trust your gut, what do you REALLY believe.

I know I'll never dismiss my intuition again, not out of fear of the truth, not out of a desire to NOT be a jealous husband.

[Flynn]

Tell her because of this guy....you need access to her computer at all times!! You need to put a keylogger on it if she will allow it. To track all internet activity not just her pass word. She will just use another email account. Password to her cell phone also or at least I hope you have a family play where you can see phone numbers on the bill.

Bottom line she sounds very untrustworthy.

[omniglh]

Originally Posted by Flynn

Tell her because of this guy....you need access to her computer at all times!! You need to put a keylogger on it if she will allow it. To track all internet activity not just her pass word. .

I think that TELLING her you're putting a keylogger on her machine would kind of defeat the purpose. She'll just find another way.

I wouldn't even mention "keylogger", or anything related to "recording computer usage". Just install it when she's not around.

[Skirtchaser]

Originally Posted by xenthius

I appreciate all the advice and support. I found out that she had met a young man while on a cruise with her friend last year. I also found out that she had stayed in touch with this guy. I ended up confronting her on this, as she said that she met some people but she spent all her time with her friend only. She told me that she is only friends and that she helped him out with his girlfriend that he is very much in love with. Appernetly she had a couple of abortions with him (she is only 21) etc etc etc. He was very respectful and a very nice guy. She left a lot of blanks and I think she may have been lying but since I can't prove her wrong its a difficult decision to make. I told her that I was very upset, I trusted her and she keeps this relationships behind my back adn even lied about it. I even asked her if she saw him last week when she was in Florida, she said she ran into him with his girlfriend at the mall. What are the odds of this in Fort Lauderdale??????
I still love her but I lost a lot of trust in her. I asked her to stop talking to this guy. Friendship with younger single men may not appropriate.

Bet money he di.cked her on the cruise, and you have no trust.

[xenthius]

I don't want to bet you anything, if she didn't on the cruise she did last month. I have been able to get my hand on her email account for a day before she changed passwords and found a few interesting e-mails but nothing specific. MSN messenger and skype are my boon it appears. I also have now obtained phone records from her cellphone before she opened a new account. The puzzle is starting to come together. I will have to bide my time, she eventually will make a mistake. To everyone thank you for listening and commenting. Its good to know you are not alone and also there is someone with answers.

[tomasingm]

Originally Posted by Skirtchaser

Bet money he di.cked her on the cruise, and you have no trust.

Co-signed.






Skirtchaser, has alot of wisdom, his bat sense is never wrong. She did do him, and you will only uncover gradual truths as the more you press. And what she feeds you gradually will give you more questions than answers. Dude you know she is cheating so your dileema is not whether she is cheating or not but how to proceed with an adulterous wife...............