Where do I go from here ...?

[LALL]

Hi Everyone:

I am new to the site, but like so many of you I ma in need of some help, and I would greatly appreciate any help any of you can offer to me at this time.

My wife has been cheating onme for three years now with ONE person.

I caught her several times, and evrytime I caught her, I forgiave her and we moved on .. or so it seemed.

I love her very much, and what pains me themost is that I don't cheat on her. If I were cheating on her, it might have been easier for me to put my life together and move on.

We have two very smart kids, that I also love dearly.

We are middle-class bracket, living in the Caribbean.

Everytime I catch my wife, in our "making up" sessions, I would tell her how I discovered her infidelity.
She then becomes smarter, and "upgrades"

She deletes numbers from her phone; she has put a lock on her phone; opened secret mailbox addresses; secret bank accounts; secret e-mail accounts, etc; she speaks openly with co-workers about her affairs.
I have info on all of this.

Whereas she used to 'work' late on the home computer, she is now only exclusively using the work computer.

I believe that she has secret email accounts that she communicates through to the OP (Other person).

What I need is some kind of spyware that will allow me to see her computer screen at work.

She gets in early and does her 'personal' thing before others gets in.

I would respect the privacy of thecompany she works for and keep on the ethical side - all I want to know about is her personal errands.

I know also that if I send her an 'attachemnt' she willopen and read it. I know that there are spywares that can be inside an attachemtn.

I will greatly appreciate any help from any of you.

Thanks and kind regards

[exhausted]

I have been doing research for another member on here about this and have came up w/really nothing good.. Most virus protection doesn't allow spyware or in informs the user in most cases..

My point to you if your wife keeps going on with this affair, how can you keep staying with her? If your kids are smart than they know whats going on and I hope they aren't growing up thinking infidelity is right!! There is onething if you forgave her and you both moved on.. But, if she still doing it than thats not right!!

Here is a ideal.. Stop telling her how your finding out and take notes.. That's what cheaters do if they are caught, they just cover their tracks better..

If I happened to stumble onto anything I will let you know.. But, I have looked into things and I have not found anything that would pass a good virus protection..

[Skirtchaser]

You and your children deserve better.
She is not going to stop her infidelity, She is selfish, lying cheating w.hore.
She does not respect you or the homelife of the children. If she is not willing to stop the affairs, there isnt really much to salvage in this relationship. You can stay with her for the kids sake. This may make a less than desirable atmosphere for the children and may do more harm than good. How can your children be happy if you are not happy.
You sound like you are whipped. You keep forgiving and trying to make a go of it. You can't do this by yourself. A partnership takes 2. You are going to have to stand up for yourself to this wench. Grow some b.alls. Get out of this relationship carefully and take care of your kids. Find you someone who will respect you and help you raise the kids. There are many good women in this world. Don't judge all by the one you have.

[MuffinMan]

Problem is, when she cheats on you, she cheats on the kids. With the exception of the love she shows them on the surface, one could make a case that she doesn't love them that much to cheat on their father and risk the family.
I am in the same position. I'd say, put your foot down. How is she cheating? Going out on the weekends and leaving you home with the kids?...if so...THAT SH!T NEEDS TO STOP RIGHT NOW. And no, it isn't controlling...I have said this numerous times, IT IS REASONABLE FOR YOU TO EXPECT YOUR WIFE TO ACT LIKE A WIFE AND NOT A WH0RE.

She needs to know that her days of f#cking another man are over....in my case, my wife no longer does the things that inspire cheating. She now stays home like a wife should(just as a husband should to be with his wife).
For this reason I don't get divorced because I want to be with my children ever day and not be apart from them.

But make no mistake, if I found out she was still cheating, her ass would be kicked out of the house without my children.

You are in a bad situation to say the least, but trust me, grab the reigns on your wife. You should be calling the shots.

And GET ANGRY!!!! She needs to see some rage from you.

[BEALIA]

HI i am also new here, I also caught my husband cheating on me on sept of this year...I forgave him and i recently found out he is still seeing this other woman...h got his butt thrown out of my house last Thursday...He always cheated on me and i had enough...its too bad some people cannot appreciate a true love ...I decided i deserve beter , just like you do...now why would you want to take time to do research on what she is doing? Instead take time to get yourself togeather ..do your own thing and get out of that cheating relationship once and for all...I am here if you need a friend ..god luck!

[Ravage]

Wow, three times same man, either she in fact loves this man & hates being married to you. Or she is deeply infatuated with the fantasy of loving him. either way sucks for you, but it doesnt have to.

First thing you do is emotionally detach yourself from the situation. I asure you this will protect your emotions from her. Second cancel all joint bank accounts and credit cards. Do not finance the affair, Dont be a punk and let her take your money when she's out ****ing another man! third expose to everybody what's going on! it doesnt matter, your family her family. Gather proof and expose. If the other guy is married tell his wife / girlfriend about it. You want your wife to squirm and let her deal with the consequences of her actions.

Also what about you three times and you took her back. once is pushing it but three?! I would have thrown the ***** out with all her **** damn that. If you got kids I suggest you protect them as well. And if all turns bad anyway. Go to a lawyer and know your options, if she hints that she's filing do it first and go for custody regaurdless of the situation. and do not leave your house.

This woman has serious issues that are beyond your control the road is hard but the outcome is either she'll be remorseful and come back looking to redeem herself (doubtful) Or you get the kids / 50 / 5o joint custody you as the primary, she moves out and pays you child support. And her relationship with the other man ****s up in the long run. Because their relationship is not solid as it was built on.

What goes around comes around.

[Skirtchaser]

Good advice Ravage.