Am I The Worlds Biggest ***** Or What?

[JAYLA]

I Dont Want To Go To Into My Past But I'll Make It Simple. Met My Husband When I Wasnt Even Allowed To Date Yet. We Are 7 Years Apart In Age And I Love Him Terribly. He Was And Is My Only Love And I Dont Want To Be With Any One Else... Or So I Thought. This Last Summer I Was Out With Some Friends Getting Drunk Which Is Not Unusual And My Hubby Wanted To Stay Home. I Went Back To My Friends Buddy's House And Kinda Passed Out.. When I Woke Up (about 1/2 Hour Later) Everyone Was Gone And It Was Just Me And This Guy I'v Only Hung Out With A Couple Times. He Made Some Advances At Me And I Dont Know What I Was Thinking But We Did The Dirty Deed. I Cried TO MYSELF The Whole Time. It Felt Discusting. I Dont Know Why I Let Him Finish. I Guess In The Back Of My Mind I'v Always Wanted TO KNOW WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE The One Night Stand... To Know What It's Like To Be Single... Blah Blah Blah. I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS I'D ACT ON IT. MY HUSBAND AND I EVEN ROLE PLAY WITH IT BECAUSE IT'S FUN. I'v Been With My Husband For Eight Years.. Married For Three And Have No Complaints.. Well None That Would Drive Me To Do Anything Like This. I Havent Seen This Guy Since And Even Dumped My Friends For Leaving Me Drunk At Some Random Guys House. ( Not Ssaying This Is Their Fault But Friends Shouldnt Be Leaving Friends Behind When Drunk). So I Dont Know If I Should Tell My Husband Or Not. I Did Not Ever Plan To Cheat And Now That That Happend And I Know The Feeling I Had From It.. I Know For A Fact I'll Never Cheat Again. THE GUY THAT THIS HAPPEND WITH LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS STILL, HAS NO LIFE AMBITIONS, IS A POTHEAD AT 32 AND IS 100% OPPOSITE FROM EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT MY HUSBAND. THIS IS NOT A SITUATION WHERE I COULD EVEN REMOTLEY SEE ANYTHING HAPPENING TO WHERE I MIGHT GO BACK TO HIM OR WHATEVER CHEATERS DO. My Husband Is My Everything And I Know It Sounds Lame But This Can All Be Chalked Up To One Drunk Night. Does Anyone Have Any Advise For Me? I Have Had This Huge Whole In My Heart Ever Since.. I Dont Want To Tell Him And Loose The Love Of My Life Especially Since It Didnt Happen Out Of Unhappiness In My Marriage Or Anything Like That. It Wasnt Premeditated And It Wont Ever Happen Again. I Cant Even Bring Myself To Go Out Drinking Without Him Anymore Cause Im Afraid I Cant Be Left Alone Drunk With Out Him.. I Feel Like Scum Of The Earth And Feel Like I'v Blown Our Whole Future. Please Help!!!!!

[Skirtchaser]

Your certainly gonna catch it here from some of those who have been cheated on by their wives.
What you have done is disgusting. First of all out with your friends drinking without your partner was your mistake. Your one night stand as you call it is not a mistake and cannot be blamed on the alcohol. There is no excuse for cheating on your partner. You chose to do this chose to let him continue therefore no mistake.
Your husband will notice the difference in you and will detect something is wrong. He may already suspect it and is trying to find the truth.
My advice to you is to be truthful with him, If he is good as you say, he deserves that. It may devestate him and he may never look at you the same way, but covering a lie with another just builds the explosion. He may and probably will never trust you again. Not the way he did. It's gonna be a rocky road ahead of you. It's gonna take a long time to rebuild your relationship. If you lie to him, all may be lost.

[MuffinMan]

That is why going to bars and clubs when you are married should not happen....and for the very reason you proved.
And being drunk is not an excuse. All alcohol does is bring out what you really would like to do or try just a little bit easier.

The part that dismays me is you did this with some total loser...as if cheating on a good man is disrespectful enough

As a man who has been cheated on by his wife, and as a man whose attitude toward his wife has changed completely and will remain that way forever....you usually would get a big a$$hole ripped by me and a few others here. But at least you aren't trying to justify your cheating like some and I will cut you some slack.

You want advice? ...here it is. You should never go bar hopping or clubbing again. You are married...ACT LIKE IT.
Be prepared if you decide to tell him. I wouldn't blame him a bit if he never trusts you again. And his attitude might change. You may, just like you said, have blown your whole future.

But that is my only advice, no more bars, clubs...etc. If you are not wlling to do that...you will cheat again. My motto is simple..once a cheater always a cheater....you can just choose to stay away from the influences that will push you towards it. Its like alcoholism...your still an alcoholic, but your lips must never touch the stuff again.

[MuffinMan]

oh and by the way, your title asks..."Am I the biggest ***** or what?"

Nah, my vote goes out to Chelsea so far...there a couple other women in here that run a close 2nd.

[Tawnee1969]

Ok, again, I have gone dancing without my partner and had quite a few drinks at the time too but I have never cheated. People cheat at work, on the net, parents groups, sport groups anywhere actually. Its the person not the place that cheats.

[elainegayla]

Amen, Tawnee. I'm up to my @$$ in that excuse..."I was drunk. I was high".

WHATEVER.

I've been drunk to the point of blacking out and never once did a d*ck fall in me.

That being said...DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND! If you truly will NEVER do that again...why break his heart? I wish I never knew. I wish my husband stopped at one screw up and I never had to know about his betrayal.

UNLESS, you didn't use protection. Then you are morally obligated to tell him for health reasons.

Unless, there is a 0.00000001% chance the protection failed.

UNLESS, there is a 0.0000001% chance your husband will find out through the grapevine.

Oh, screw it. Tell him. The deed is done. Too many ways for your husband to pay.

And either way, STOP drinking PERIOD! You can't handle it.

[MuffinMan]

Ok, again, I have gone dancing without my partner and had quite a few drinks at the time too but I have never cheated. People cheat at work, on the net, parents groups, sport groups anywhere actually. Its the person not the place that cheats.

Just because there are people out there who just happened to have NOT cheated at clubs doesn't mean that it is the best place to cheat.

I have never had a girlfriend that was a clubber that could be trusted. My wife is also proof of that.

Early on I stayed away from clubbers and bar hoppers...when I met my wife, she wasnt that way. She would occasionally "go out for drinks" with her friends, and because I loved her, I trusted her.

Boy was I wrong and the biggest fool....nothing you say will change my mind about clubbing and bar hopping. And simulated sex on the dancefloor with someone other than your partner, in my book, is cheating.

[Skirtchaser]

Not everyperson who goes to bars is cheating. The alcohol is no excuse. There isnt any excuse for cheating.
But why go to a bar? Mostly to see and be seen. If you are married I think doing it just increases the chances that something will happen. Not good places for married people to be. Much less there without their partner. Not in every case but far too many bad things come from it. The next in line is secrets.
Why not just stay at home with your baby, lil soft music, lil drink, and some candle light. Who would ask for more???:confused:

[tomasingm]

If you tell him, and tell him how you feel he will know you are not hiding it from him. But if he finds out (and believe me he will, maybe years from now) It will be worse, I can guarantee you, he will forgive you if you tell him and pour your heart out. If he finds out (and he will dont doubt it the world is too small, and all it takes is your loser friend to brag aobut nailing you to 1 person, then you know how news travels, since the internet was invesnted there is NO such thing as secrets. ) It will be 10 times worse, trust me because the jack off that tells him is gonna be doing it with malice so yo know what is right.

[tomasingm]

If you tell him, and tell him how you feel he will know you are not hiding it from him. But if he finds out (and believe me he will, maybe years from now) It will be worse, I can guarantee you, he will forgive you if you tell him and pour your heart out. If he finds out (and he will dont doubt it the world is too small, and all it takes is your loser friend to brag aobut nailing you to 1 person, then you know how news travels, since the internet was invesnted there is NO such thing as secrets. ) It will be 10 times worse, trust me because the jack off that tells him is gonna be doing it with malice so yo know what is right.

[SuckerFree]

Can't one women, just one...ever admit to cheating without throwing some weak excuse in there?

[Skirtchaser]

the answer to that is no. And neither can a man. :)

[MuffinMan]

Can't one women, just one...ever admit to cheating without throwing some weak excuse in there?


no...........