Infidelity Fling in Spain

[Jerry]

She had gone to Salamanca, Spain for six weeks to study for her Master's degree in Spanish Language and Culture. She is a Spanish language teacher in the local public school system. I stayed in texas and looked after our ten and eitht year old children.

We talked on the phone everyday and she mentioned that she had gone to the discos several nights (discos go from midnight until sun-up in Spain) with her girlfiriends a few times just to kill time and have some fun. She enjoys dancing and I didn't think anything of it. She said that they always returned to their dorms after a couple of hours.

I joined her during her last week there and we went to the discos that she had mentioned. There was a group of young men between twenty and twenty five dancing with each other and anyone else that would join them. My wife and her girl firend were in the middle of the crowd just having fun and teasing them because they were being crazy.

At one point I saw her grab a guys courch and then later was doing the doggy dirty dance with him in a teasing way. Later she was dancing with one man and they both disappeared for a few moments. I moved to the other side of the room and saw them kissing passionately behind a large stone column.

I got angry and went out into the narrow street (no cars) and pouted angrily for a few minutes. Then I decided to go in and take her out of there. She was running out when I was coming in and we started arguing. She denied the kissing at first and then said she was sorry. that she had forgotten where she was and that all the alcohal that she had consumed had obliterated her judgment.

Three days later I decided to go to the North of Spain and visit some areas that I was interested in. We talked on the phone both nights that I was gone. She said that she was studing for the finals and was very tired both nights. On the second night I called her room for four hours straight, from three in the morning until about six. No answer on her room phone nor her cell phone.

The next day when I got back she said that she was too tired to answer the phone or maybe she had been in one of the other women's rooms studying. The desk clerk had told me on the phone that he thought that she and her girl frends (four of them - all single) had left about midnight and had not come back all night. She denies this and says that the clerk was lying or mistaken. They have to turn in the keys to him as they leave the dorm/hotel.

On the last day in Spain we went to Madrid and she insisted on going to the disco that was close to our hotel with her girlfriends. We went there about midnight again and about Two A.M. she said that her girl firiend wanted to return to her hotel room and that she was going outside to help her get a cab. I started to join them when she angily told me not to follow her and that she would be right back. I said ok figuring that they were good friends and wanted to say things privetly for whatever reason.

I waited for her to return to the disco until about three and then went outside to look for her. No signs of her or her friend anywhere. i then walked to the hotel and asked if they had seen her. I went to the room and she wasn't there either. i went back to the disco and wandered around the three differant dance rooms looking for her and her three girl firiends that had stayed. no signs of anyone. About four-thirty I went to the hotel and went to be. She came in about five or five thirty and said that she had returned to the disco and couldn't find me. She took a shower and went into a deep sleep. The next day we returned to Texas.

A few days after returning to Texas I reviewed the pictures that she had taken in Salamanca. it's a digital camera that records the date and time of every picture with a high level of accuracy.

There are pictures of her with a man who she said was just a friend that lived in town and ran a cafe. There are picture of the two of them in the town plaza, another picture through a second story window looking down on the street. She says that this was an upstairs disco and that her girl friends were with her all the time although there is not one picture of them.

here are other pictures of the two of them hugging or dancing closely in the disco. These were all taken between midnight and five in the morning of the first night that I had gone on my trip. She also had about five minutes of movies of him dancing in the disco.

She denies that she did anything wrong and that she was not having an affair. She is from the South of Mexico where they stay out all night in the discos and just doesn't understand why I am so upset with her and am asking her for a divorce if she goes back to Salamanca next summer.

She says that she won't go to the discos and doesn't want to hurt me but is intent on finishing her Masters degree no matter what the cost. I told her that if she pays the tuition or buys a plane ticket to go there it will be all over between us.

The question is; Am I being too controlling or should I have already dumped her for the crap she pulled last summer?

[tomasingm]

Are you kidding me controlling????? You are the closest thing to a swinger without actually being one. Are you sure you are from Texas???.. Not only did she cheat when you were in Texas and she was in Spain she did it blatantly with not regard to your children, marriage, or morals when you were THERE. Yes she did F*ck him she did it alot. Tell her to get her Masters degree through a local university the last I checked the state of Texas has several Universities. And divorce her, you should have thrown her off the balcony in the hotel and said she fell over, honestly the would have been best. You could have saved your self do much money, dignity, respect through a divorce. And as a widow you'll ge tmore chicks than a divorced guy.

[Jerry]

Thanks, I need to say that the past seven years with her have been great and i had no suspicions that she would go off the deep end. I have always trusted her and she has gone on several weekends to teachers conventions and seminars alone but I never suspected her of cheating. Now i can't trust her going to the grocery store for thirty minutes. We have a big "Trust" problem that will eventually do this marraige in, i'm afraid.

[toamsingm]

are an atempt to cheer you up not kick you down. I am sure that you will find the inner strength within yourself you will be able to attain your goals, in your relationship whether it is to try and stick through this and break away. But inho you need to hold her fully responsible for her actions and realize what she has done, when she admits what she has done then she can ask for forgiveness that is where you start to build. She needs to earn your trust again. DO NOT KEEP IT A SECRET, tell her parents, relatives and family. They will make sure she is shamed enough to feel like crap for what she did.

[Skirtchaser]

definition of deep end. I dont want to leave my wife because I love her and I have never before caught her cheating, Therefore I will swallow my pride and deny she really did anything. I will stay with her and believe we can work it out.

[Jerry]

are an atempt to cheer you up not kick you down. I am sure that you will find the inner strength within yourself you will be able to attain your goals, in your relationship whether it is to try and stick through this and break away. But inho you need to hold her fully responsible for her actions and realize what she has done, when she admits what she has done then she can ask for forgiveness that is where you start to build. She needs to earn your trust again. DO NOT KEEP IT A SECRET, tell her parents, relatives and family. They will make sure she is shamed enough to feel like crap for what she did.
All her family members are in Mexico and hardly speak english so I have a comm. problem there. She has a brother that she has told her side to and he got angry with her but he hasn't heard my version. Her sister, mother nor nor Dad know anything. Hermother is coming and maybe I can communicate better when she arrives. I know enough Spanish to make it thru a simple conv. but I can't write it. Any suggestions? Oh I do have all myversion written in English and I could send that but it's lengthy and would take a while to translate.

[prex]

Thats what a picture's worth, my friend. And the treacherous snake snitched herself out by taking pictures of herself with her sancho. Send those pictures to her dad along with your divorce papers. He'll understand.

Oh yeah. Make sure you don't have any std's or thats she's not pregnant. Trust me on this. And get rid of her now. You will rue the day you gave her another chance. Broom her ayss to the curb, toot sweet.

[Jerry]

Thanks for your support and advice - it is appreciated and keeps me focused.
I've had two complete physicals along with blood tests and everything is ok physically. I'll keep having my blood checked every six months or so from no on. I also ad her hair checked for drugs but she was clean. I was worried because all that **** is readily available in the crowds whe was roaming in. Spain isn't much differant than Amsterdam when it comes to sex and drugs on the hoof. She had herself fixed after the last child so she can't get pregnant.

[tomasingm]

As first Generation Meixcan-American Born (parents are from Zacatecas, Mexico) let me be the first to tell you that in Mexico (the ranches and villages) as recently as the early 80's people got killed for this ****. Even better Mexican men (father's) will get their cholesteral up over this stuff. I am not kidding tell them in a form of a letter that you vowed to honor her for ever and be a great husband but it is really hard since she went to spain to run a **** sucking marathon with occasional cliff notes (not in those words) But you get the idea tell them that you love her you just dont know where to turn. Also tell him that you are worried about hw to tell the kids (even if you dont do it anyways) (that will be enough to get her disowned, shamed and disgraced so she feels the full responsibility for her actions) If you need help PM me, hell I'll even write it for you I am fluent in Spanish.

[MuffinMan]

F#CK NO you are not being too controlling. Your wife is a wh0re...plain and simple...no offense to you.

And what have I told people in this forum about wives or husbands going to clubs??

You are not being controlling, it is reasonable to expect your wife to ACT LIKE A F#CKING WIFE...sorry about the language, but damn.

My wife is not allowed to go to clubs or bars with friends any longer...some people might say its controlling, but she was able to do all of that before she proved to me she cannot be trusted there. She either accepts this, or she can leave the house, WITHOUT my sons. Needless to say I am staying in my marriage for my kids. They need there dad, especially if she had custody and was to bring home strange men every weekend. Now her infidelities apparantly happened a long time ago and the ones I know of happened when were were engaged, but I didn't find out til years later and 2 kids later.

I cannot believe your wife did all of this sh!t when you came to see her and while you were at the disco.

If nothing else...you remind her that she is not to be trusted, also remind her that she CHEATED on you and that is the same thing as cheating on her kids.

I'm sorry, you wife is a wh0re and deserves to be treated as such.

[MuffinMan]

Thanks, I need to say that the past seven years with her have been great and i had no suspicions that she would go off the deep end. I have always trusted her and she has gone on several weekends to teachers conventions and seminars alone but I never suspected her of cheating. Now i can't trust her going to the grocery store for thirty minutes. We have a big "Trust" problem that will eventually do this marraige in, i'm afraid.

You can never trust her again and you NEVER will. Once a cheater always a cheater...but your wife takes this WAY beyond cheating. She is obsessed with other men's d!cks..PERIOD...even if she physically stops cheating, you know she really wants to be with other men.

If you can handle divorce and can handle what this will do to the kids, maybe it is best for you.
As much of a cheater as she is, you probably could get full custody.

And if she is a teacher, I bet she is a regular f#cking Mary Kay Letourneau.
I bet she wants to f#ck underage boys too.

[MuffinMan]

She had herself fixed after the last child so she can't get pregnant.

My wife talked about getting her tubes tied...I said, "THE HELL YOU ARE".
I'll get a vasectomy. She argued that she wanted tied..I told her if she gets tied, we are through.

She asked why, and I told her, "because if I get fixed, and you have not, and you wind up pregnant, then I'll KNOW you are still cheating".

She got mad, then I told her, "theres the f#cking door if you don't like it"...she piped down.

[Jerry]

The worst was that she lied about it all. She won't admit to haing sex with anyone. She was just having fun and didn't mean to harm anyone. She knows she can't go to bars or discos ever again. I'm probably being hesitant in dropping her ass because our kids are small, 10 & 8, and need me around.
I tell her that I don't trust her anymore and question her everytime she's gone out of my site about what she was doing and with whom. She gets pissed but knows why I'm asking. I guess I am treating her like a *****.

[MuffinMan]

NEVER let your guard down. She should know why you are asking her where she is and who she is with.
If she gets pissed, even though you are staying for the kids, tell her where the door is if she doesn't like it. Thats what I do and she pipes down every time. My wife knows I am staying because I love my children, but she also knows, because of my passion and anger, that if I tell her to get out that I mean it...so she doesn't let it get to that point. She knows she'll leave the house WITHOUT my sons.

Anyway, if your kids are 10 and 8, I'd say your b!tch has about 5 to 6 years left if you really think you might divorce over this.
I understand you are staying for your kids sake. What else are you going to do?...divorce, let her get custody and she goes out every weekend and brings home strange men to f#ck? Ya, thats good for kids..let a wh0re raise them.

I wish your wife could see everything we are saying...I wish I lived in Texas...I'd come over to your house...tell your wife I'm taking you out and tell her exactly what i think of her.

[mrmaximum]

Firstly I’d like to say that this whole thing stinks man, and I’m sorry that you had to go thought that. I’d just like to know; what are the divorce laws like in Texas? Is there a good chance that you will get the kids? The only reason that I’m asking is because your post sounds similar to another post on this site where a gentleman found out that his wife had cheated when they had vacationed at Las Vegas. Pretty much the same thing here!! Jerry, c’mon, she had the audacity to cheat AND YOU WHERE IN THE SAME F@CKING BUILDING!!! She’s acting like a crazed sl@t and you are in the same country!!! She has no respect for you, your kids, or herself. She has no remorse!!! I can’t remember which post it was on this site, but if I find it, I will refer you to it, especially one of the responses where the woman in question was shown to have a cold, cold heart. She was gone for an extended period of time where you must have been worried about her and she showed NO REMORSE or consideration for your feelings!! I agree with Prex, if you can get the kids, show her ass the door and let her sleep in the bed she made!!!! One more thing; Tomasingm, you are a gentleman and a scholar for helping Jerry out.

[Jerry]

Her mother is coming to visit for a few weeks and i will tell her in my best Spanish (it sucks) what went on in Spain. It will really piss off my wife because her mother will chew her ass out as bad as I have been doing. I will keep you posted when it happens!

[Jerry]

You were very correct about the trust. I don't trust her and tellher so on a regular basis. She would like me to forget all the deceitful **** she did on her trip but I can't and probably never will.

Occasionally one of the single women that were in Salamanca wwith her and she partied with, call her and I let her know that I don't like it. She says that the other women didn't influence her in any way - that she didn't do anythng wrong other than kiss that guy in the bar when she was drunk.

A twenty year old neighbor thats in college is going to Spain for two weeks in january and my wife told her to go to Salamanca because it is the best party town in Spain and things really get wild during the regular school year. It pissed me off that that that she thinks of the party time as the most important part of U.. studies. Just the mention of anything Spanish right now sets me off on a tangent.

I've told her that I don't want her to return to Spain to finish her Masters and that I prefer that she enroll in a local U. here in Houston and get a Masters here. She insists that she wants to finish what she started - even though the degree will be in Spanish language and culture (and pretty worthless on the market) that hardly any U. here recognizes of any value.

I told her that I don't trust her being back in that environment and I don't think she has the discipline to fall into the same crap as last year. Hanging out with her friends at the discos until five in the morning, drinking and dancing and picking up guys or whatever else comes along. (the place is loaded with lesbians and gays)

Her solution is for all of us to go there for the seven weeks (me and our two children) and stay in an apartment while she goes to school for 8 to 10 hours a day. I told her we can't afford for me to take off for seven weeks and I don't want to be a "watch dog" and Mom and Dad stuck in the apartment entertaining two kids bored out of their minds. i'd go nuts and still couldn't police her enough to stop her from screwing around if she really wanted to.

I've told her that if the day she commits to go back there I am filing for a divorce. My lawyer knows my story and has encouraed me to "cut my losses" and divorce her right now and not wait until she commits to go back to Spain.

It's a big decision - she has been reporting in regularly and hasn't been dissappearing. Behaving just like she was when things were hunky-dory. Pre-Spain days. She has pologized several times for having caused me so much pain and has promised to never do anything like that again. She's never confessed that she slept with anyone else and insists that the only indescretion was kissing that guy that one time.

I still don't trust her and keeping her on a tight leash 24-7. She knows that her cell phone needs to be on and with her all the time. So far everthing is ok and I've had no reason not to trust her on short term stuff but i still can't forget what she did and I still don't have answers to what she was doing during the times that I couldn't find her. At least nothing that makes any sense.

The events over the next two or three months will have a long-term effect on our relationship - she knows it and the ball is in her court right now.

[tomasingm]

Divorce now, she is a "P-u-t-a" in Spain and here. She will go back to do what she wants. European men (Spainsh) tend to see American woman as ****s. When I traveled to Olivencia, Spain with a buddy of mine many of them (Local college guys and Soccer players) talked about nailing American girls without even trying and getting their drinks paid for. She will do it again, she can get her graduate degree in Texas, there are many, many Universities there. If she insists on going back, divorce her and sue her for Custody after all she abandoned her children for European Penis.

[tomasingm]

treat all her ***** friends like crap, you ahve no obligation to be nice to them. Women are like coyotes and wolves, alon and individually they'll run scared at ayn loud noise, in a pack (or atleast 2) They will tear you to shreds. You are the king of your castle you decide who calls there and who dosent, so dell the puta-club how you feel. Call them bad names abuse them verbally. Run them offf, go nuts. Remember what you shouldnt say to your wife (becuase technically she is still your wife) you can with there *****es, you ar enot married to them so you have no obligation to respect them. Who knows maybe they ll like it, and you can pound one for payback...:D

[MuffinMan]

Her mother is coming to visit for a few weeks and i will tell her in my best Spanish (it sucks) what went on in Spain. It will really piss off my wife because her mother will chew her ass out as bad as I have been doing. I will keep you posted when it happens!

Oh dude do it!!! And let us know what happened!!!

Who you really need to tell is her father...nothing worse than daddy being ashamed of his little girl.

[SuckerFree]

Let's just for argument sake say she didn't cheat (she did, but still). You will never, ever, be able to get that image of her grinding and kissing and groping out of your head. I'm still stunned over this story. I mean you travel from Texas to Spain to see your wife, she degrades you in front of her friends, gives BS stories as to her whereabouts, and macks down with some stranger at a club. And this was while you were THERE!!!! Holy cow. YOu have two children and she is choosing going to a Disco over them. Damn dude, and you had the pathetic notion to ask if you were being controlling. Man, grab your balls and run like the wind already.

[MuffinMan]

Let's just for argument sake say she didn't cheat (she did, but still). You will never, ever, be able to get that image of her grinding and kissing and groping out of your head. I'm still stunned over this story. I mean you travel from Texas to Spain to see your wife, she degrades you in front of her friends, gives BS stories as to her whereabouts, and macks down with some stranger at a club. And this was while you were THERE!!!! Holy cow. YOu have two children and she is choosing going to a Disco over them. Damn dude, and you had the pathetic notion to ask if you were being controlling. Man, grab your balls and run like the wind already.

I'd say this b!tch is not to go back to Spain for her schooling. She can finish it here. Only reason for going to Spain is to be free from her husband so she can f#ck other guys and party.

I'd divorce her worthless ass if she chose to go back to Spain to finish her "education".

Sounds like all she is interested in is sex education.

[Jerry]

That's the plan. If she goes back she know that it will be divorce city. I don't need any more of the BS she was creating this last time. She know it and if she make the decision to go back then it will be plain clear that what she needs is her total freedom - just doesnt have the guts to be on her own. My income is substantially higher than hers and she sould be hard pressed to maintain the present lifestyle she is enjoying.

[MuffinMan]

That's the plan. If she goes back she know that it will be divorce city. I don't need any more of the BS she was creating this last time.

Honestly, the mere fact that she WANTS to go back would be grounds for divorce. She isn't remorseful about what she did and she isn't willing to prove that to you by staying in the states.

If my wife told me she wanted to do this after catching her red-handed, I'd be throwing her sh!t out on the front lawn and her mom could come pick her up....WITHOUT my kids.

You might want to just divorce her anyway....she is a wh0re..pure and simple. This is a fact about her and knowing that fact, you don't need to be with this s!ut. She'll give you AIDS before you know it.

[Saintas]

Cuckold, reluctance...definition of you .
If she whant to go in Spain, again ,let her go and go after her incognito with one small digicam , take the clear evidence and put the b---h out for good.
I'm orripilate about such "woman" .
If insist to go ..let her and give her "space".

[want to curl up and die]

The fact that she got pissed off when you offered to walk with her and her friend out of the night club to the cab is 100% proof that she was cheating on you.

I showed up at my girlfriend's workplace one night unexpecantly with a boquet of roses. My girlfriend hit the f****ing roof. Why? Cause I brought her roses? Yeah right...

[Saintas]

Anybody here have doubt about about cheating in this case?
Cheating means to make something behind somebody .
Here is the worst case : cheating in front and almost with husband hand in hand .:eek: :mad: :eek:
Grose, animalic,immoral, no remorse , no vague shadow of civilisation here.
Master?
in what ?in cheating?
Sorry man, how you can resists by that?

[Saintas]

:rolleyes: That's the plan. If she goes back she know that it will be divorce city. I don't need any more of the BS she was creating this last time. She know it and if she make the decision to go back then it will be plain clear that what she needs is her total freedom - just doesnt have the guts to be on her own. My income is substantially higher than hers and she sould be hard pressed to maintain the present lifestyle she is enjoying.
What total freedom? Have already all the freedom in the world. What ?She can't do what he wanna in front of you?She has already doing what and when whant something no matter if you are present or not.:D
Really man , how can you keep your cool blood whit all of these??
I go now enter in my freeze to cool down, my blood preasure is much to high

[Saintas]

Firstly I’d like to say that this whole thing stinks man, and I’m sorry that you had to go thought that. I’d just like to know; what are the divorce laws like in Texas? Is there a good chance that you will get the kids? The only reason that I’m asking is because your post sounds similar to another post on this site where a gentleman found out that his wife had cheated when they had vacationed at Las Vegas. Pretty much the same thing here!! Jerry, c’mon, she had the audacity to cheat AND YOU WHERE IN THE SAME F@CKING BUILDING!!! She’s acting like a crazed sl@t and you are in the same country!!! She has no respect for you, your kids, or herself. She has no remorse!!! I can’t remember which post it was on this site, but if I find it, I will refer you to it, especially one of the responses where the woman in question was shown to have a cold, cold heart. She was gone for an extended period of time where you must have been worried about her and she showed NO REMORSE or consideration for your feelings!! I agree with Prex, if you can get the kids, show her ass the door and let her sleep in the bed she made!!!! One more thing; Tomasingm, you are a gentleman and a scholar for helping Jerry out.
http://www.chatcheaters.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8

[jnj express]

forget telling everyone about her who cares this is between you and her---------------------------she is cheating on you plain and simple---------------------------only you live in your shoes--only you will decide what to do---------------------------if you stay with her then make it plain to her if she leaves next summer to stop by a divorce attorneys office while she is gone--------------------i am serious she will just have her little fun while you are home with kids------------------in fact ask her if she would like to try it on her own right now----------------let her know point blank-she took vows to be with you and no one else-that includes not kissing someone else-if she can't handle her licqour than she drinks only at home-----and if i were you i wouldn't let her be dancing with anyone but you-------------------------------------------you are letting her be way to free tighten this up or watch her play you for a sucker

[jnj express]

jerry-how old are you and your wife what is your married relationship like-do the 2 of you have sex regularly are there any problems tween the 2 of you---------------------what was she like when you met her------------------------has she ever done anything like this before going to spain-such as wanting to go out and dance with others-----does she like to go out and drink-------------------------she doesn't have the right to get pissed off at you especially after the crap with her girlfriend and the cab in madrid-------------you know goddamn well she had sex otherwise why did she not come back in immediately and where was she---did you ever pin her down on that night, as to what she was doing---you are way to easy on her-how remorseful is she acting------------------make it very plain to her she can try life on her own if she ever even suggests going on her own or with girlfriends ever again----------------------and if she brings up going back to spain get right in her face and just plain say NO there is no reason for her to go spain except she wants to see some guy and you both know it-and let her know that you know it------------------------in fact i would tell her if she even brings up going to spain to get the hell out and go see a divorce lawyer-just plain cut her off right now

[SuckerFree]

jerry-how old are you and your wife what is your married relationship like-do the 2 of you have sex regularly are there any problems tween the 2 of you---------------------what was she like when you met her------------------------has she ever done anything like this before going to spain-such as wanting to go out and dance with others-----does she like to go out and drink-------------------------she doesn't have the right to get pissed off at you especially after the crap with her girlfriend and the cab in madrid-------------you know goddamn well she had sex otherwise why did she not come back in immediately and where was she---did you ever pin her down on that night, as to what she was doing---you are way to easy on her-how remorseful is she acting------------------make it very plain to her she can try life on her own if she ever even suggests going on her own or with girlfriends ever again----------------------and if she brings up going back to spain get right in her face and just plain say NO there is no reason for her to go spain except she wants to see some guy and you both know it-and let her know that you know it------------------------in fact i would tell her if she even brings up going to spain to get the hell out and go see a divorce lawyer-just plain cut her off right now


try this key......?

[MarkR0801]

Your wife is a ho and you are her cuckold. Why don't you just accept that she's seeing other men rather than pretending you are man enough to do anything about this. We both know you will stay and take it cuz you are too scared to lose the lit'l ho.

[Saintas]

jerry-how old are you and your wife what is your married relationship like-do the 2 of you have sex regularly are there any problems tween the 2 of you---------------------what was she like when you met her------------------------has she ever done anything like this before going to spain-such as wanting to go out and dance with others-----does she like to go out and drink-------------------------she doesn't have the right to get pissed off at you especially after the crap with her girlfriend and the cab in madrid-------------you know goddamn well she had sex otherwise why did she not come back in immediately and where was she---did you ever pin her down on that night, as to what she was doing---you are way to easy on her-how remorseful is she acting------------------make it very plain to her she can try life on her own if she ever even suggests going on her own or with girlfriends ever again----------------------and if she brings up going back to spain get right in her face and just plain say NO there is no reason for her to go spain except she wants to see some guy and you both know it-and let her know that you know it------------------------in fact i would tell her if she even brings up going to spain to get the hell out and go see a divorce lawyer-just plain cut her off right now
I agree with jnj ,tell us , this behavior has come simply out of blue, without previous signs of "sexual independence", she go to girlsnight in Texas too?
go too the bars for a drink with girlfriends when she is at home?
Or was just only in this period?

[Jerry]

jnj
You are right on the money. To answer your age question- she is 35 anI am 46. Our relationship is fine we have always gotten along with an ocasional arguement - mostly the kids but nothing serious until Salamanca, spain came along.

She was working as a translator on the same Mexican project as I was. Originally I was stationed in Mexico City and later moved to Villhermosa, Tabasco to be near the construction of the plant we had designed. She was 27 years old at the time and Villa- is her home town. She had just gone through a rocky divorce and had two children to raise.

She had a cheery character and and was congenial with everyone. She had a graduate degree from the local University and was well known for her translator skills in several languages. She enjoyed dancing (a lot) and loves parties although she hardly drank she was the life of the party. We went to the disco (in Mexico) once every two or three months for special occasions.

After dating for a few months she and the children moved in with me and we started living as a family. A few months later I asked her to marry me and Iadopted the children and gave them my name. The father had basically abandoned them and refused to even support them. He didn't fight the adoption and we eventually moved to the US and filed for all the necessary visas. They children are now US citizens. She is a resident and has to wait two more years to get her citizenship.

The next six or seven years were great and we worked on all our problems together - as a team. She has been an excellent mother and wife and a good friend to my family and my friends.

She got a teaching position three years ago. Before that I was working full time and she was home- the kids were in school and I never sus[ected that she could have been cheating - it would have been easy. I never questioned her when she went away for tow or three day teacher seminars or came home late from work.

Our sex life is excellent great - we enjoy each other very much at least three times a week when we are both feeling well. Now since she returned from Spain it took a while for us to get back to normal because of the stress and arguing but she constantly tells me that she is very sorry that she "hurt" me and that she will never do it again. She still hasn't given me satisfactory amswers regarding the three times that she dissappeared for hours and she doesnt want to discuss it. She says that the only indiscretion was kissing the guy in the bar that night and that nothing else went on before or after I got there.

I remind her that she lied to me on at least three occasions and that i don't trust her anymore. She knows that she has to earn my trust again. For a while she had changed her password on her e-mail but has now changed it back so that I can see it if I want to. of course she could have another one at school or another e-mail but I haven't seen any evidence of that yet.

I have told her the conditions regarding Spain. I put them in writing and the document is on the computer. I occasionally send it to her to remind her what will happen if she dicides that she wants to go back. The decisionis hers now. The major focus is on returning to Spain next year. If she decides to buy a ticket or register at the University Of Salamanca - which she must do before March, I will file for divorce on that very day. My lawyer already has a rough aoutline of the divorce papers and he's encouraging me to cut my losses short and divorce her. But then he's a heartless lawyer which is why I like him.

Thanks for your support and I'll keep you all posted on what is developing as time goes on.

[Jerry]

I agree with jnj ,tell us , this behavior has come simply out of blue, without previous signs of "sexual independence", she go to girlsnight in Texas too?
go too the bars for a drink with girlfriends when she is at home?
Or was just only in this period?

She is outgoing and everyone, mena and women, love to talk with her. She is an excellent teacher and the students ask to be in her classes. She has never done anything like this before.

She was drinking a lot in Spain. They drink beer or wine every time they eat and she was drinking at the disco when she was with me although she dnies drinking very much when she was with her friends.

She studied late with her group wjich included about four women and a couple of men. She became "good" friends with a couple of them that I suspected of being Lesbians and heard commets made by two male teachers that were not in their "study" group.

She spent a lot of her time and even admitted staying asleep in the other women's dorms because she was too tired to go to her own room (in the same dorm). She generally hung around with four or five women when she went to the discos, all of them single and a bit younger than her. She would tell be on the phone that she was studying into the wee hours of the morning but I know now that it was mostly partying that was going on.

Two of the women are divorcees and both behaved like Lesbians but my wife and her deny it. One of them is a 33 year old woman that my sife named "Shakira" because of her hair and she is the women that she took to catch the taxi in Madrid.

She still denies having any sexual contact with either sex and swears that she was dead drunk when she was kissing that guy in the bar. Still doesn't explain her absences.

[Lady_rose58]

She still denies having any sexual contact with either sex and swears that she was dead drunk when she was kissing that guy in the bar. Still doesn't explain her absences.


She will deney it till the day she dies! And being drunk doesn't excuse cheating. You will never know why she was absent, just let her know that YOU don't trust her, and it is HER fault.

Dang I hate cheaters....!!!

[MuffinMan]

She will deney it till the day she dies! And being drunk doesn't excuse cheating. You will never know why she was absent, just let her know that YOU don't trust her, and it is HER fault.

Dang I hate cheaters....!!!

And I know it isn't a solution, or in any way should you do this, but wouldn't you just like to slap the pi$$ outta a cheater once in a while?

[Jerry]

And I know it isn't a solution, or in any way should you do this, but wouldn't you just like to slap the pi$$ outta a cheater once in a while?

Just to add icing to the cake - about a month after she got back from Salamanca she was about an hour late getting home from work (school). when I asked her why she was late she said that she had grades to post and some other school stuff to finish up before she could leave.

Later that night I checked her cel phone and saw that she had talked made several phone calls and received several phone calls from the whxres she was chumming around with in Spain.

I had asked her not to talk to them until we had our own fight settled and she had agreed. Anyway I told her that I saw that she was talking on the phone and she acted like it was no big deal and told me to stop being controlling and stuiped about the things that had happened.

Anyway, we both got angry and I slapped her and told her what I really was thinking, I threw her out of the house-into the garage and told her to get in her car and leave.

She called the police on her cell phone and they showed up a few minutes later. What I did is labled by our laws is called assault and battery and I was subsequently arrested and thrown in jail for the night. i've had too go to court three differant times and it has cost me about $2,000 in lawyers and fines and I am now on probation for a year. I have to report every month to a probation officer in downtown Houston.

I have to do 80 hours of community service - working in an animal shelter. I have to pay for an anger management class - and attend of course. i have to take an abusive drug psycho test. I have to pay a $300 fine plus about $40 to the worthless probation agency.

Advice-If your not ready to go to jail - don't hit anybody - don't even threaten bodily harm. Just walk away, put distance between you and whoever is tempting you to slap the piss out of them because in todays world of womans lib and lawyers you will be the victim!

I have never struck a woman in my life and never thought that I would lose it the way I did. But I do have to tell you that it felt reallllllllly good to slap the piss out of the lying cheating *****. I woun't ever do it again - I'll just leave.

[Jerry]

Your wife is a ho and you are her cuckold. Why don't you just accept that she's seeing other men rather than pretending you are man enough to do anything about this. We both know you will stay and take it cuz you are too scared to lose the lit'l ho.

I'll tell you that it would be real easy to find a good woman-I've known several and I know they are out there. I made a big mistake because I didn't get to know enough about this one before I made a commitment.

The main reason i haven't taken the fast, easy route and simply kicked her out is that the children need me and I have to find a way to keep them. If you read my earlier response you will see that they are hers and I adopted them but in my heart they are my children and I am their dad. But the courts would more than likely give them to her in this case.

They know they are adopted (by me) and that their father is a guy in Mexico that they never hear from or see. I'm the only one as far as they are concerned and I want to see them grow up as mentaly healthy and productive children that are not ashamed of who they are or where they came from.

if they go with their mother it could be a total disastor and I would feel that I hadn't gone the route to do my best by them. In the end it may end up that way but I'm a tenacious person and will only go down fighting and doing my best.

Can I survive by myself? Sure I can! I'm healthy, make plenty of money, a great career. I have have some good investments and am not afraid to start new adventures. The next time I choose a mate will be a careful and cautious but I will find someone. There are lots of fine people out there.

[Skirtchaser]

Jerry,
Don't pay that di.ck head Mark any attention, he is an idiot.

[mrmaximum]

Jerry, that is not cool whatsoever man. I’m sure that slapping her felt REALLY, REALLY good and that there is no one here that would say that although hitting someone is wrong that if anyone deserved it, it was your lying, cheating wife, THAT was the very reason that you should leave RIGHT NOW!! You have not made the situation better by staying, you know as well as I do that you have just made it worse, now you have a charge of assault and battery on your record that WILL be brought up in court when you go the way of divorce. One more thing, this conniving b!tch will now use this to her advantage. She talked to her wh0re friends, she came home late betraying your trust once again, you got mad, she had the utter AUDACITY to argue with you after she was in the wrong, and you got mad, slapped her, and YOU ended up in jail with a charge!! See what’s going on? Time to go dude, you will not get the kids any easier by staying with a b!tch like this!! You don’t think that the wheels aren't turning in her little head as to get this situation to go her way? She has showed NO remorse, she plans on going back to Spain, and all the things that she promised to do she hasn’t done. Time to make a stand, time to go. At the very least, tell her that she f@cked herself and that you and her will no longer share the same bed and that she should have no access to your money!! Cancel all your joint credit cards and the like. However I really think you need to leave, not now, but RIGHT now!!:mad:

[tomasingm]

LEAVE HER NOW!!!!! You already put hands on her next time she will provoke you to kill her. SHe is not a woman she is a ***** and like a pimp does his ***** you put a hand on her but she called the police. SHe is a ***** that cannot be a wife. For adopting them you are now going to have to support to kids that are not yours on top of that you are now a wife beater (no matter if she indeed deserve it) DIVORCE, before you end up behind bars for life..... THere is no way with a woman like this, she is a venomous snake take my post and show it to her....I am dead serious you have been warned, if you stay with her, get your self a really good criminal defense attorney........... Lord knows you will need it..................AFter this you are no longer a victim but an accomplice. Walk away cut your lossess, your attorney is not heartless he is smart...............Listen to him.........DONT WALK RUN AWAY......Leave her!!! NOW!!!!!

[Skirtchaser]

Think he should use Prex as his attorney???:confused:

[MuffinMan]

LEAVE HER NOW!!!!! You already put hands on her next time she will provoke you to kill her.

I agree...this wh0re isn't worth 2 squirts of pi$$ let alone you going to jail over.

let the other men have her, she'll die of AIDS soon enough.

[SuckerFree]

Just to add icing to the cake - about a month after she got back from Salamanca she was about an hour late getting home from work (school). when I asked her why she was late she said that she had grades to post and some other school stuff to finish up before she could leave.

Later that night I checked her cel phone and saw that she had talked made several phone calls and received several phone calls from the whxres she was chumming around with in Spain.

I had asked her not to talk to them until we had our own fight settled and she had agreed. Anyway I told her that I saw that she was talking on the phone and she acted like it was no big deal and told me to stop being controlling and stuiped about the things that had happened.

Anyway, we both got angry and I slapped her and told her what I really was thinking, I threw her out of the house-into the garage and told her to get in her car and leave.

She called the police on her cell phone and they showed up a few minutes later. What I did is labled by our laws is called assault and battery and I was subsequently arrested and thrown in jail for the night. i've had too go to court three differant times and it has cost me about $2,000 in lawyers and fines and I am now on probation for a year. I have to report every month to a probation officer in downtown Houston.

I have to do 80 hours of community service - working in an animal shelter. I have to pay for an anger management class - and attend of course. i have to take an abusive drug psycho test. I have to pay a $300 fine plus about $40 to the worthless probation agency.

Advice-If your not ready to go to jail - don't hit anybody - don't even threaten bodily harm. Just walk away, put distance between you and whoever is tempting you to slap the piss out of them because in todays world of womans lib and lawyers you will be the victim!

I have never struck a woman in my life and never thought that I would lose it the way I did. But I do have to tell you that it felt reallllllllly good to slap the piss out of the lying cheating *****. I woun't ever do it again - I'll just leave.

I could have told you all this prior. You Sir, played your hand so bad from the very beginning. You have just lost everything. Custody, your home, everything. And, she will also have enough fuel to blame you for everything (and believe it). I hate hearing stories like this. She's been playing you from the beginning. She wanted you to hit her, now she has full blown protected victim status. I feel for you. All you guys out there in this situation, this is exactly what not to do. Do not turn your cheating spouse into the victim. You are the victim, I told him to lie low, get all the info, have everything lined up. Now, he get's nothing, except to clean up **** at the local SPCA and treated like a low-life.

[jnj express]

jerry----------------i have one question------------the night in salamonca she kissed the guy you were with her-you know how drunk she was----how bad off was she-----you were with her-------what really happened----------------------ok as to now----------------i think it is time you seperated at least-let her be on her own and see how she likes it-also it will give you a taste of whether you really don't want her or you are just reacting to the situation-----------------------you are not going to stop her from talking to others---she has the right to talk to others she doesn't have the right to have contact with men-----you have to realize she is entitled to a life also---you can't control everything she does-------once again this whole thing is on you----------if you stay you need to give her a little slack, but not allow her to mess with other men--------if you go then there is nothing to think about-----------as to a divorce--------it looks bad that you hit her---------maybe if you show you tried to keep your marriage going the court would look more favorably on you if you ever do file for divorce-----------------------as to spain well that looks to be the deciding factor here---you have put yourself in a corner with the ultimatum, cuz if she goes and you don't file then she will know she can **** all over you anytime she wants---so you really must file if she goes-------in the meantime try to look like you are really trying to make marriage work for the previous reasons i have mentioned

[SuckerFree]

jerry----------------i have one question------------the night in salamonca she kissed the guy you were with her-you know how drunk she was----how bad off was she-----you were with her-------what really happened----------------------ok as to now----------------i think it is time you seperated at least-let her be on her own and see how she likes it-also it will give you a taste of whether you really don't want her or you are just reacting to the situation-----------------------you are not going to stop her from talking to others---she has the right to talk to others she doesn't have the right to have contact with men-----you have to realize she is entitled to a life also---you can't control everything she does-------once again this whole thing is on you----------if you stay you need to give her a little slack, but not allow her to mess with other men--------if you go then there is nothing to think about-----------as to a divorce--------it looks bad that you hit her---------maybe if you show you tried to keep your marriage going the court would look more favorably on you if you ever do file for divorce-----------------------as to spain well that looks to be the deciding factor here---you have put yourself in a corner with the ultimatum, cuz if she goes and you don't file then she will know she can **** all over you anytime she wants---so you really must file if she goes-------in the meantime try to look like you are really trying to make marriage work for the previous reasons i have mentioned

None of this matters now. He is a convicted wife beater. I am simply amazed at how little men know about Divorce. The Judge has VERY LITTLE discretion as to what he can give. Judges, Police, Prosecutors, Teachers, are all forced regularily to attend domestic violence workshops. Their is an agenda in place. This agenda does not favor men. Once a women calls the police, an arrest must be made. Regardless of evidence or not. Once the Police arrest (which they have to) the Women is not allowed to have the charges dropped. He's done, he ****ed up.

[Saintas]

I am really sad about what happend to you jerry.
Is late now but my advice was good (about space and digicam to obtain clear evidence )
Anyway , the advice from your lawyer about ,,cut of damage was given before or after you have the incident with spanking?
It is better now to really make a strong plan with your lawyer to "cut your loses " because now it is a higher and dirty line of this s**t .
Yeh I believe you drove in your wife trap .
She is the "victim" now and financialy you will suport another man kid's (that is realy not so worst because I understand that you love this kid's and practicaly you are their father).
I believe you have now two choises :
One is to play as your wife , dirty and pervers ("you forgive her" you whant that your marriage to work and once you obtain clear evidence maybe you can cut your loses) -but I believe you are not the tipe and you don't have the strtenght to do this(once you hit one time the following violence follow)
Two is to get ride of her no matter of what costs are involved ( I believe already you have paid enough for loving her ).

[Ravage]

Wow, jerry just read what you wrote. Goddamn their family is all ****ed up. I believe that most of the women in that family is straight ****ed up. Seriously. I mean do you want this woman's family to be part of your life? I mean when you married her you married her family as well. But seriously this sounds like a generational sickness. Do you want your children to partake in that legacy.

I want you think **** all that love **** and see that this is not your fault this is learned behavior do you have the heart or nuts to stand by and watch your wife unlearn this behavior through therapy all these issues could take years to be corrected. And also what makes you think she would want t fight the demons she's known for so long.

Obviosuly your at a crossroads you need to pick the right one for you family and know that if the marriage ends it's not all your fault but they're are problems you cannot fix. Especially if it's hers and she does nothing to change them. Good luck...

Do what must be done...

[Ravage]

Ok read your other post after the last one. Okay now I dont like wife beaters but I understand the frustration. I understand the banging the head against the wll trying to make it all work. But let's face facts the minute you leave this woman alone and let her be by herself you'll feel better about it. Some poeple are just not made for each other.

Yeah I'm sure she made a good wife in the begining but that was probably all a ruse. She used you based on her circumstances and you fell right into the hole. She played on your emotions and sympathies and you got caught out there. But you need to cut her loose and find a way to stop paying for these children that aint yours. It's not your respeonsibility. If you adpoted them fine it's legal but if you dont have to you shouldnt. If she wants her freedom that bad, disappear from her life completely. Move far away from her and her crazy ass family. Why do you as a man put up with such disrespect?

Do you feel you deserve it? What do you want out of life?
Opps sorry I almost went into my morpehus phase. lol. But anyways'

As always:

Do what must be done...

[MuffinMan]

Ok read your other post after the last one. Okay now I dont like wife beaters but I understand the frustration. I understand the banging the head against the wll trying to make it all work. But let's face facts the minute you leave this woman alone and let her be by herself you'll feel better about it. Some poeple are just not made for each other. .

This wife of his is not made for anyone...she is for EVERYBODY.
She is not worthy of marriage or committment. She is a wh0re, pure and simple.

[Jerry]

I can't undo the past and I've encouraged her to get therapy but she doesn't think she needs it. Strong headed woman just like her mother and grandmother. The men in those families let the women run the show and they were ****ed up as hHogan's goat.

I come from a strong patriarchal family where the men didn't necessarily run everything but they are definetly the head of the family. I made the mistake of letting her have her way some times when she insisted and that might have given her the idea that she could dominate me the same way her GM did her Grnadfather.

Things have changed drastically since August in this house. I now have taken control of all of my money. if she needs any she has to give me an acounting in detail before I allocate any to her.

I'v cut off her long-distnance telephone. She has to use my cell phone to call LD now. I cut off the internet connection-no more e-mail. I got rid of the maid service-she has to clean up but I also clean up around the house and yard.

She has to pay for her health club, the kids karate, dance and piano lessons. She has to pay for her car which is a payment of over $400 a month and insurance for her own car. She will have to pay for her trip and schooling in Spain if she goes and that will be around $5,000 minimum.

She has to have her cell phone on and answer all the time. She's been pretty good about it but conveniently forgets to take it once in a while but I've checked on her then and she's been where she was supposed to be.

I insist on having a say in all social activities. The teacher friend that encourged her to go to Spain and went with her is no longer allowed in our house nor to call the house.

I've told her and her friends from the "Gay/Lesbian" state of New jersey that were with her in Spain that they cannot call her or my house for ay reason. i know I can't control all of these activities but the rules have been clearly defined and so far things are working out but then you never know with a strong headed woman that is insistant on taking risks.

My contingency plan is that if she intentionally breaks the agreement that she's made I will bail out and ask for a divorce. At this point, I figure that she will make her own bed and lie in it-the ball is in her court.

[Saintas]

I have read about her family in another post of you.
That have change another 90 degrees yor situation .
Now is more "understandable her behavior " I tell you to pay now higher atention on your behavior, and to make all your step calculated .
If you have a good friend , talk to him and have for any step or big decision you made a long talk( two head are better than one, and at list your buddy have the mind cooler than you). Don't act impulsive ! You are on thin Ice and your situation is enough comlpicated already.
I don't now if your wife is a w@3re but sure have a cold mind regarding his strategy with you (cold , calculated,good , here is like in those cheap thriller).
Think hard and evoid to loose more strategical position.
I know now that you was not so surprise knowing her grandmother .
Anyway we all have the right to be happy . I simply don't know if you will be someday near this woman .
Sure look that she really don't have any respect for you , this is what have learn in family .

[Jerry]

I don't lie and I don't cheat. That's me and I won't compromise my morals because my wife stepped out of line. The only thing I can do is try to straighten her out for the sake of the children. I feel that they are my own children even though they are adopted and they feel the same. A seperation / divorce would be really tough on them.

Even though she is "behaving" right now and acting like a proper laady, wife and mother i don't know how long it will last. I still don't trust her. I'm going to give her some time. If she steps out of line or starts preparing for returning to Salamanca then I'll know it's all over. At that point I've got to get myself out of the way and take control of the damage that she has caused me.

I know that I can't help or be a good father to the kids if I continue in a disfunctional relationship with her. Distance is not in the cards for a while because if we break up I still feel that the kids will need me around them. Monetarily supporting them doesn't bother me as much as having them grow up in the potential environment that she will create once I'm gone.

[Saintas]

I now many here will disagree but you can try than a strategy good cop bad cop .
I don't now if will work but you can try to put one cold one hot.Near the constritment you can make (smart ) apeal at your wife feelings . Try step by step to show him how is to be in your shoes : that her behavior hurt a lot, that you are the man who stays near her and her's children .
It take a lot of patience and Art work and hard work , but only if you can take her back mentaly ( I believe her mind is far , far away now) you have a chance to go further with this relation . I repeat , It wil be a hard work and will be apeall a lot at your patience , "t will be like to alcohoolic , hard to find a way to show that alcoohol is realy bad for and you try to show this because you care.

[Jerry]

She has told me that she is very sorry that she hurt me. That she didn't realize that what she was doing would affect me so much. She has promised that she will never do it again. etc. etc.. But she also thinks that I am overreacting to what happened and says that she didn't have sex with anyone except me.

She says that she went off by herself because she was angry at me for trying to control her and also my anger over her kissing that man in the bar was still in my tone and behavior and I was uncomfortable to be with. She says that I am translating that into her being with other men (having sex) and that that isn't the case.
She thinks that going to the discos and simply dancing the night away is an innocent pastime and that she never did anything but dance. It's all bull**** as far as I'm concerned and I've told her that several times but she won't admit to fuxxcking around with anyone-men or women.

[tomasingm]

She has told me that she is very sorry that she hurt me. That she didn't realize that what she was doing would affect me so much. She has promised that she will never do it again. etc. etc.. But she also thinks that I am overreacting to what happened and says that she didn't have sex with anyone except me.

She says that she went off by herself because she was angry at me for trying to control her and also my anger over her kissing that man in the bar was still in my tone and behavior and I was uncomfortable to be with. She says that I am translating that into her being with other men (having sex) and that that isn't the case.
She thinks that going to the discos and simply dancing the night away is an innocent pastime and that she never did anything but dance. It's all bull**** as far as I'm concerned and I've told her that several times but she won't admit to fuxxcking around with anyone-men or women.


You need to have your testicles re-attached. I dont know how you were raised but a woman does not make out with another guy right in front of her husband and expect it to be a okay unsless they are swingers at an orgy or something. WTF??? The fact that you are debating and contemplating what to do has led me to believe that you have self-esteem or confidence issues. Your wife is not a wife she is a puta. Sorry to be the one to break it to you but facts are facts. Of course she is denying screwing any one else. She is trying to deny and downplay something that you actually saw, imagine what you dont see?? Come on, leave her and find a real woman this is a cochina plain and simple. If the woman in her family ar elike her then run away dont waste your time. If those kids are nto yours then screw it listen to your lawyer/attorney whatver. He is not cut throat, (well maybe he is) but on this one he is actually right. Remember this there are always two sides with a cheater, what they say/said, and what they do/did. On this one YOU SAW HER it does not got any more obvious than that. ANd if that is what she did in front of you imagine what she did when you werent around. I am being real and honest with you. You need a real woman......

Write her a letter like this copy and past my text and give it to her it will be from you to her.


Pinche vieja me salistes mas puta que la chingada, te me largas a chingar a tu madre, con toy tus bastarditos, a mi me vale madre lo que dices yo se lo que mire, te me largas a la verga. Eres una mendiga desgraciada que no merese tener un matrimonio ni hogar, te voy a remplacar con una mujer decente.

Copy and paste those two lines and print them . Tell her you are telling her what you feel in her language, and that will pretty much take care of it for you.

[Saintas]

BS -marriage is not about controling , is about selfcontrol.She make something extremly bad-kissing another man, dancing like teenager in heat, and you are the guilty part.Marriage absolutely supose to not to do this crap.
Tell her : If I was doing like that how you feel abou it? What hapens , you are teenage in higschool ?

[Saintas]

And Jerry, forget about lesbian thing , it was about one man , friendgirls have only the companion role, most probably catalizator role, 100 procent was a man or more ( sure one was this guy from the picture) .Tell her that she have too much school and education to tell such crap -Snow White is a fairy tale for children.

[Ravage]

Hey jerry, I read what you wrote, good for you. putting up some boundries and demanding respect. That's a good thing.

Also she's apologizing and then she says I didnt have sex with him. Bull****, tell her to stop mimializing the issue. it happened, reguardless. either you end the dumb MLC behavior or walk out the door and dont come back.

I bet you shes trying to get into your good graces because you caught her and now she cant hide. If anything I would say keep your dukes up and just take it one day at a time.

Also to alot of poster's reading the men's posts, they say we're controlling and **** like that but honestly if it was a female and the husband was cheating she would have put the boot to him and not have had it so easy.

Females are like that, always putting the men at fault even when it's not ours and always trying to justify the woman's actions even when she dead wrong.

[mrmaximum]

WTF!!! Here’s some advice, pure and simple, okay? LEAVE HER. There is nothing else to say. LEAVE HER or else wish that you did.:eek:

[MuffinMan]

WTF!!! Here’s some advice, pure and simple, okay? LEAVE HER. There is nothing else to say. LEAVE HER or else wish that you did.:eek:

I concur...this woman is trash and will continue to go to clubs and get pounded by other men. She is a s!ut, wh0re, and one worthless woman.

Let the man s!uts have her. She will contract a disease sooner or later and you don't need to get it from her.

She is trash, dump her on the street like trash.

[Saintas]

Hey jerry, I read what you wrote, good for you. putting up some boundries and demanding respect. That's a good thing.

Also she's apologizing and then she says I didnt have sex with him. Bull****, tell her to stop mimializing the issue. it happened, reguardless. either you end the dumb MLC behavior or walk out the door and dont come back.

I bet you shes trying to get into your good graces because you caught her and now she cant hide. If anything I would say keep your dukes up and just take it one day at a time.

Also to alot of poster's reading the men's posts, they say we're controlling and **** like that but honestly if it was a female and the husband was cheating she would have put the boot to him and not have had it so easy.

Females are like that, always putting the men at fault even when it's not ours and always trying to justify the woman's actions even when she dead wrong.


Only some woman, man ,only some. And we know what kind and whom :D

[Saintas]

[QUOTE=Ravage] I bet you shes trying to get into your good graces because you caught her and now she cant hide.
QUOTE]

What is really shoking I say once again that he not have caught her , she did all in front of him , and now tells fairy tale to put children to sleep. At list another cheaters try to hide , to disimulate their cheap stories but here is a big B---**** treated like nothing happend.

[Ravage]

Wow you know I just read what sanita's wrote. damn jerry you must have had some sort of strange mind **** because if my wife kissed another man right in front of me such blantant disrespect would not be tolerated.

I would have knocked the **** out of the other man and slapped her so damn hard it would have brought tears to her eyes. If you can correct her mistakes make her a better wife good. but I think you should consider your other options.

How would she like it if you kissed one of her co-workers or ****ed her hot little 19 year old niece? Or banged her best friend and emailed the video to her entire work office. Not nice when the tables turn right?

[Saintas]

Your story , jerry , is one of the most shoking here. You now, ten years earlier I catch my girlfrend from that time F***g with her own father. I tell my self that I see all and nothing will surpries me anymore but still..

[jnj express]

hey saintas----what is this -that your ex girlfriend had sex with her father-----have you told that story on another thread somewhere here if so where and if not i would like to hear that story if it is not to painful for you

[Saintas]

I will post here in next weekend when I will have more free time.
Many **** happend to me in my life but I don't give up and I believe that good
ppl still exits .

[MuffinMan]

I will post here in next weekend when I will have more free time.
Many **** happend to me in my life but I don't give up and I believe that good
ppl still exits .

good ppl exist....but they aren't cheaters.

[Saintas]

Two words: Absolutely right .
But cheaters think they are veeeery good ppl who deserves all :D .
Right : all the hell .

[MuffinMan]

Two words: Absolutely right .
But cheaters think they are veeeery good ppl who deserves all :D .
Right : all the hell .

Oh I know that all too well as evidenced by some of the cheaters who try to blame their cheating on the ones they are betraying.

And this fact especially comes out from cheaters and "Wayward" moderators over on survivinginfidelity.com

[Saintas]

Why I have the impresion that here are two kind of situation's :
very few cases where there is a chance to go on and that mayebe , just maybe was not the case of cheating ( wich I hope is devildog case) and love still exits but must to be founded again and other cases who cheating is clear and selfishment is higher to the sky ?

[Jerry]

Her mother has been with us for over a amonth now and she is a very decent woman. She admits to the mistakes that she made - having my wife out of wedlock. She said that her mother sent her to go to Mexico city to have an abortion but that she refused to go through with it. She describes her childhood as miserable because of her dominating and mean mother. She didn't have a bed as a child and slep on the floor with a blanket. The only mattress in the house was in her mother's room where she slep alone.

She told me about how her mother ran around with several differant men and everyone knew it-including the husband. This was verified by a friend of her grandmother's that came to visit last week. I'm sure the woman came to visit because she knew my MIL was here and wanted to make her uncomfortable. We could hardly wait for her to leave.

Her sister and mother insisted on keeping my wife with them and managed to do that most of the time. When my wife was eighteen she left her mom and went to live with her grandmother full time - and whe went to the college nearby. So her grandmother had a strong influence on her.

During the past five or six years, my wife refused to have contact with her mother and said that her mother was too complicated and it was better not to have a relationship with her. The same with her younger brother - He lived in the smae town as she did but they never talked to each other.

About a yeqr ago, she opened up to both of them and there has been a building up pof their relationship that seems as if nothing was ever wrong between them. My MIL and brother-in-law took care of our two children for five weeks when my wife was in Spain. We also spent last Christmas with them in a nice hotel in Puebla, (Mexico).

They are getting along very well now while she is in Houston. Her Mom has a ten year visa and can stay as much as she wants as long as she returns to Mexico every six months.

Now the mother is stying until January with the plan to return for another four to five months stay! My wife wants to modify one of our rooms and bathrooms so that her mother can move in permanently. They have been discussing opening up a small business so that her mother can work. She is a retired school teacher but is still very active.

Neither one of them have talked much about what is going to happen to my father-in-law or their marraige with the long seperations.. He has no visa and is in Mexico working at his regular job. They are bothe indifferant about him and say that he drinks too much and is verbally abusive to my MIL.

I like my mother in law and she is a big help with the house and the kids. She pitches in with anything that I or my wife have to get done. My wife says that she is very happy now that she has resestablished contac with her family and feel that she really has a mother now. Her brother and she call each other two or three times a week now and seem happy to talk to each other.

I'm happy for her but wonder and she seems happier all the time. She doesn't want to talk about the Spain incidents of last summer and is still talking (not to me ) about how wonderful her school was in Salamanca and about returning there next summer.

i suspect that she may be getting ready to bail out of this marraige in the future and have her support system in hand so that she and the kids can maintain the lifestyle to which they have become accostomed.

What do you think?

[mrmaximum]

You know I’m not experienced as some of the other posters here, and you do have a lot to lose, but something is rotten in Denmark, Jerry. She supposedly wants to make sure things go well with you, fix what she has nearly destroyed, and here she is talking about going back to Salamanca? Your feelings mean nothing to her, that’s readily apparent by the fact that she’s talking about the very thing that you told her would be a deal breaker. Think about some of the other shady things that she has done, change email passwords and that crap AND all of these plans?? I gotta say that in light of what you have already told us, you need to watch your @$$!! Some of the other posters here can tell you what precisely you should do, but in my opinion as it appears to me, you need to start looking after your own interests, NOT yours and hers, YOURS, ALONE!!! As for her MIL, yeah maybe she isn’t a manipulating tramp like your wife, but she has something up her sleeve too, the fact that she is leaving her hubby back at Mexico high and dry should tell you something. He may deserve to be left up the creek, you do not!!

[MuffinMan]

Her mother has been with us for over a amonth now and she is a very decent woman. She admits to the mistakes that she made - having my wife out of wedlock. She said that her mother sent her to go to Mexico city to have an abortion but that she refused to go through with it. She describes her childhood as miserable because of her dominating and mean mother. She didn't have a bed as a child and slep on the floor with a blanket. The only mattress in the house was in her mother's room where she slep alone.

She told me about how her mother ran around with several differant men and everyone knew it-including the husband.

<snip>

So in a nutshell you are inheriting a cycle of wretchedness passed down from the women in her family.

That doesn't change what you should do....DIVORCE THIS TRAMP OF A WIFE OF YOURS!! She is a worthless hussy. Kick her to the curb...NOW!!!!

She wants to f#ck other men....PERIOD. She wants to go back to Spain for her schooling so she can continue to party and F#CK OTHER MEN....PERIOD!!!

Dude....you do not deserve this. Get rid of her like yesterday's news toot sweet. Find yourself a real woman...not a wh0re like your wife.

[Skirtchaser]

some peeps gotta have the trauma, drama and the dispair, or they can';t live. :p

[Tawnee1969]

Jerry,

my mum's best quote and think about this seriously.

"Is the f*ucking you're getting, worth the f*cking you're getting?"

[SuckerFree]

Jerry,

my mum's best quote and think about this seriously.

"Is the f*ucking you're getting, worth the f*cking you're getting?"

This reminds me of what I tell my firneds before they go blow their paychecks at a strip club. "You are gonna get ****ed, but not laid". Not surprisingly, they all owe me money.

[BlackDove]

it's kind of strange reading all of this after reading posts by men at men's sites advocating latin women as wives. they go on and on about how wonderful they are.

"ALL the good Ladies nowadays are at Latin America, Eastern Europe & The Orient.


Like I said before in a earlier post is to go to any one of these Foriegn Countries, Marry her there
& Finally STAY at her Country so she will not get brainwashed by those Commie Women,s Libbers."

-chefbee of AWS

it seems there are cheaters all around.

you, my friend, are being screwed and are just about to be majorly screwed. get out of there. God Speed.

[Jerry]

She has changed her mind about going to Spain to study next year. She says that our marraige is more important than her going back and doesn't want to divorce. I told her (not blackmailed) that I would file for divorce the day that she commits to go back there by either paying tuition or purchasing a plane ticket to go.

I told her that I did not want a repeat of this past year and was not willing to risk it. She promised me that she would behave and not screw around but I told her that I didn't trust her and that she would lose self control once she got into the environment again. She still denies that she had sex with anyone but that she was being flirtatious and spending a lot of time dancing at the discos.

She says that she loves me and does not want to seperate and that our marraige and the children are more important than her returning to Spain or being with her "friends" that she made while she was there. She is starting to look at courses at the local U's and is planning to start taking courses this next year to start etting credits towards her Master's Degree.

I think her mother being here has helped by bringing to light what had gone in their own family for the past two generations. i have heard her telling my wife stories about her mother and herseld and f....xk up her family was back in Mexico because they didn't respect their marraige vows and has told her in detail all the heartaches that went along with the infidelity.

I think it got her to realize that she really had screwed things up and doesn't want to repeat the errors that her mother and grnadmother made. Our relationship has improved and we are not fighting as much anymore. I don't know where the future will take us- we just have to take one day at a time.

[tomasingm]

I am happy for you, so I am assuming you told her mom??? Thats good?? Her mom knew. If she commits to it you cant back away from your promises. Also, if she changes her mind dont be afraid to divorce her. Also of she just ups and leaves the country in a divorce that will make her look real bad and you might just get everything, kids house, child support etc. So her options are not that great. I guess she learned the hard way that she is no longer a sorority girl.

[MuffinMan]

Well, that is good to hear...I guess.

One thing is for sure, your "wife" should be on house arrest if you decide to stay. She needs to start acting like a wife...not a wh0re.

She is not to go out clubbing or to bars any longer. She is not to go out with "girlfriends". She f#cked all of that up. Its not being controlling, it is expecting her to act like she is suppose to. You were a trusting husband who probably thought you were doing a great thing by giving her space to do things. Well she played you for a fool and you need to show her it will NOT happen again.

Good luck my man.

[Ravage]

good to hear things are going well. I think you should ask her to sign a post-nup. Why? because if she is really faitful and hell bent on keeping the marriage together than she needs to reassure you that her decision is clear. No ****ing around!

Put your foot down and stomp out the maddness. Also get her and you into some marital counciling. She has some ****ed up childhoood problems that's making her out to be this way. I think that alot of people have dual sides to them but it manifests very greddily and selfishly. Like I love you but I'm infatuated with him. Dont take that **** too personal. Just detach and let her fall on her face. She has to own her own **** if she's ever gonna experience personal growth she's gonna have to do it for herself.

If your ****ed up in the head why would you want to remain that way?

[SuckerFree]

Ehh, sounds like she's playing poker if ya ask me. Keep track of her. Methinks when she is able to stand on her own, she's outtie.

[MuffinMan]

Ehh, sounds like she's playing poker if ya ask me. Keep track of her. Methinks when she is able to stand on her own, she's outtie.

I agree..I don't think this tramp is remorseful or sorry at all. I mean come on? Gets mad at him when she is about ready to get in a car with other guys for the rest of the night?

She has no regard for her husband and I think the only reason she wants to stay is security. She still wants to f#ck other men, she just is willing to trade that for security...for a while. i think when she has her career going, she will start it back up again.

I'd kick her ass out now. Let her see how easy it will be to complete her schooling without her support base.

[tomasingm]

DUde, she is susing you for stability until she finishes school. I thought about this. Dude, she is tellign you what you want to hear. SHe changed her mind all to easily??? No counseling?? Suddenly a change of heart??? DUde get rid of her now, once she is able to stand on her own she will leave. Dump her now, you dont need this.........Jerry, brother I hope for the best, but facts are facts, she made out with another guy in front of you when your were there and has not shown a bit of remorse.......?? Kick her out, tell her that it is too late......Get a real lady.............

[Jerry]

A couple of weeks ago we were having a heart to heart talk about her going back to Salamanca and I told her that if whe insisted on going that I was going to file for divorce ASAP. She cried and said that she wouldn't go because she loved me and didn't want to ever hurt me again. She said that our marraige and keeping our family together was more important than her going back there to get her Masters.

Last week while I was driving through home from a Christmas vacation to Colorado she sleepily announced that she had to get her Masters degree. Nothing else. I didn't say anything at the time. her mother and our two kids were in the car.

When we got home and had some privacy I told her that I was not happy about her simply popping out the bad news when I was the driving down the road at 75 MPH and had just driven through a snow storm in New Mexico.

She said that she didn't want to teach at the Jr high level and that the Masters would get her to the college level. I told her that all her work only amounted to 6 credits at a valid US University at best and she still needed 53 more hours to get a real masters.

She said that she had thought about it and thought that me, our two kids and her mother could all go to Salamanca and rent an apartment for the six weeks while she attended school. She suggested that I take a course or two to keep me busy. I told her that I wouldn't go back there on a bet and that all she wanted was to be back there with her friends so she could party.

I told her that I thought that the main reason for her going back was to be with her lesbian friends and to party every night at the discos and get her Pxxxy banged by the guys she picked up there. She said that I should forget all the crap that happened last summer and that she would not go tothe discos and that she had never had sex with anyone over there and I was imagining things.

Today I saw an e-mail from her friend of 34 who is a teacher also and lives nearby. She graduated from Salamanca last year and is doing the same job as before. She is asking my wife to join her for a week of traveling before school starts and she is going back to Salamanca for a few days. She has a boyfriend here but I don't think it's serious. She is the one that introduced my wife to the program and to some of the Spanish guys who were in the pictures at the discos and hanging out in bars with both of them.

My wifes response to her travel request was that she wasn't sure if she was going because she is trying to decide what she was going to do with the kids during that time and that she had to sort things out with me before she fully commits to going. This year she was planning on renting an apartment with a couple of her "girlfriends" from last year - if she went alone.

My take on all of this is that she can't control the urge to be with these women that I suspect are players and half-way lesbians and that she's gone over the edge. In any case I'm preparing to bail out of this relationship because I'm not willing give in on my position, not willing to take any more mental abuse, not willing to go police her in Spain nor am I willing to support her "Peter Pan" behavior or put up with it any longer.

When she goes there she can do whatever she wants because she will be single at the time and can do whatever she wants. She will need to figure out a way to pay for it as well. A couple of you guys mentioned that she was sticking around for the security and you were probably correct.

[mrmaximum]

My take on all of this is that she can't control the urge to be with these women that I suspect are players and half-way lesbians and that she's gone over the edge. In any case I'm preparing to bail out of this relationship because I'm not willing give in on my position, not willing to take any more mental abuse, not willing to go police her in Spain nor am I willing to support her "Peter Pan" behavior or put up with it any longer.

When she goes there she can do whatever she wants because she will be single at the time and can do whatever she wants. She will need to figure out a way to pay for it as well. A couple of you guys mentioned that she was sticking around for the security and you were probably correct.

Well, it all came to a head now didn't it. That sucks that this appears to be the end of your marriage. Well, at least you realize it and you are taking the proper steps. Good for you, I'm sure the other guys here who are more experienced in divorce can give you invaluable advice in getting this selfish b!tch out of your life!! I hope and pray you get the kids so that this cycle of foolishness stops with her. They and you deserve more than this!!

Good Luck and Godspeed!!

[MuffinMan]

A couple of weeks ago we were having a heart to heart talk about her going back to Salamanca and I told her that if whe insisted on going that I was going to file for divorce ASAP. She cried and said that she wouldn't go because she loved me and didn't want to ever hurt me again. She said that our marraige and keeping our family together was more important than her going back there to get her Masters.

Well no sh!t!! She can get her masters anywhere, the only reason to go live that far away from her family is so she can go out and f#ck other guys.

Last week while I was driving through home from a Christmas vacation to Colorado she sleepily announced that she had to get her Masters degree. Nothing else. I didn't say anything at the time. her mother and our two kids were in the car.

thats fine, she can get her masters in the state you live in or alot of places will allow you to go to one college, yet the degree would be from another.

She said that she had thought about it and thought that me, our two kids and her mother could all go to Salamanca and rent an apartment for the six weeks while she attended school.

Bah...bullsh!t. You were with her when she went out wh0ring and she got pissed that you were going to get in the car with her and other men.
She wants to go back to Salamanca for the f#cking she wants.

She suggested that I take a course or two to keep me busy. I told her that I wouldn't go back there on a bet and that all she wanted was to be back there with her friends so she could party.

Exactly right. good job my man.

I told her that I thought that the main reason for her going back was to be with her lesbian friends and to party every night at the discos and get her Pxxxy banged by the guys she picked up there. She said that I should forget all the crap that happened last summer and that she would not go tothe discos and that she had never had sex with anyone over there and I was imagining things.

Ah, so now she thinks you are stupid. Dude, more and more I'd just say that you should divorce this wh0re not matter where she decides to get her Masters.

Today I saw an e-mail from her friend of 34 who is a teacher also and lives nearby. She graduated from Salamanca last year and is doing the same job as before. She is asking my wife to join her for a week of traveling before school starts and she is going back to Salamanca for a few days. She has a boyfriend here but I don't think it's serious. She is the one that introduced my wife to the program and to some of the Spanish guys who were in the pictures at the discos and hanging out in bars with both of them.

Well there is nothing to discuss there...NO WAY IN F#CKING HELL should you allow her to do this.

My wifes response to her travel request was that she wasn't sure if she was going because she is trying to decide what she was going to do with the kids during that time and that she had to sort things out with me before she fully commits to going. This year she was planning on renting an apartment with a couple of her "girlfriends" from last year - if she went alone.

Nothing to discuss. It isn't appropriate and your wife is to never be trusted on any trip anywhere without you....hell..much less with you. She proved that one to you already.

My take on all of this is that she can't control the urge to be with these women that I suspect are players and half-way lesbians and that she's gone over the edge. In any case I'm preparing to bail out of this relationship because I'm not willing give in on my position, not willing to take any more mental abuse, not willing to go police her in Spain nor am I willing to support her "Peter Pan" behavior or put up with it any longer.

When she goes there she can do whatever she wants because she will be single at the time and can do whatever she wants. She will need to figure out a way to pay for it as well. A couple of you guys mentioned that she was sticking around for the security and you were probably correct.

Thats what I'm talking about!..Man up and dump this wh0re, you and your kids don't need that sh!t.

I guarantee you if my wife were acting like this to this very day, she'd be out of the house without my kids.

don't waiver in your stance my man. She is worthless..and what do you do with worthless things? Throw them in the trash.

[tomasingm]

A couple of weeks ago we were having a heart to heart talk about her going back to Salamanca and I told her that if whe insisted on going that I was going to file for divorce ASAP. She cried and said that she wouldn't go because she loved me and didn't want to ever hurt me again. She said that our marraige and keeping our family together was more important than her going back there to get her Masters.

Last week while I was driving through home from a Christmas vacation to Colorado she sleepily announced that she had to get her Masters degree. Nothing else. I didn't say anything at the time. her mother and our two kids were in the car.

When we got home and had some privacy I told her that I was not happy about her simply popping out the bad news when I was the driving down the road at 75 MPH and had just driven through a snow storm in New Mexico.

She said that she didn't want to teach at the Jr high level and that the Masters would get her to the college level. I told her that all her work only amounted to 6 credits at a valid US University at best and she still needed 53 more hours to get a real masters.

She said that she had thought about it and thought that me, our two kids and her mother could all go to Salamanca and rent an apartment for the six weeks while she attended school. She suggested that I take a course or two to keep me busy. I told her that I wouldn't go back there on a bet and that all she wanted was to be back there with her friends so she could party.

I told her that I thought that the main reason for her going back was to be with her lesbian friends and to party every night at the discos and get her Pxxxy banged by the guys she picked up there. She said that I should forget all the crap that happened last summer and that she would not go tothe discos and that she had never had sex with anyone over there and I was imagining things.

Today I saw an e-mail from her friend of 34 who is a teacher also and lives nearby. She graduated from Salamanca last year and is doing the same job as before. She is asking my wife to join her for a week of traveling before school starts and she is going back to Salamanca for a few days. She has a boyfriend here but I don't think it's serious. She is the one that introduced my wife to the program and to some of the Spanish guys who were in the pictures at the discos and hanging out in bars with both of them.

My wifes response to her travel request was that she wasn't sure if she was going because she is trying to decide what she was going to do with the kids during that time and that she had to sort things out with me before she fully commits to going. This year she was planning on renting an apartment with a couple of her "girlfriends" from last year - if she went alone.

My take on all of this is that she can't control the urge to be with these women that I suspect are players and half-way lesbians and that she's gone over the edge. In any case I'm preparing to bail out of this relationship because I'm not willing give in on my position, not willing to take any more mental abuse, not willing to go police her in Spain nor am I willing to support her "Peter Pan" behavior or put up with it any longer.

When she goes there she can do whatever she wants because she will be single at the time and can do whatever she wants. She will need to figure out a way to pay for it as well. A couple of you guys mentioned that she was sticking around for the security and you were probably correct.


Tell the her to divorce right before she goes and you get the kids while she gets nailed. You know what happened right??? The Pendeja (call her that) saw some emails form her freinds tarted chatting, and having flashbacks and now wants some more action.........Thats all seriously she is not going to stop and she will go, and I fear she will do it, and I am positively sure she will compromise you and your marriage over this.......Her way of self-reationalization where she justifies this by overcoming several mental opbstacles is that you are holding her down from following her dreams, aka mastes degree aka successful, she is going to go no matter what. Her cards have been shown, cut her off, get custody from the kids, start preparing, legally, financially, get evidence ready, and be prepared for a court battle mother of all battles. Also note she CAN NOT go to Spain if you get divorced and she has custody. Personally I think she is with you for the security, you dont deserve this you need a lady that will be a lady, a mom, and a wife. Not a puta-disco bunny, (tell her I said that)

Let me write it this our, practice this and repet it. It is in spanish it has slang and verbadum she will be familiar with.

"Mira pendeja no me vas a ver la cara, mientras to vas aya a prestarles las nalgas a hecos espanoles me vas a tener aqui de idiota. Si te vas, te vas a chingar a tu madrem y quedate ayi pa que te tengan de qual quiera."

Then after reapeat that show her the divorce papers.......

[Ravage]

I think you should let her go Jerry...

I bet your wife is drop dead gorgeous. Your holding on to her beacause you want that family. You want the mother of your kids in their lives. She's so obscessed with living this fantasy of being an independant woman and being free. Than with that freedom she must move out. If she wants to be single then she must inherit all that it is about being single. She's gonna have to live with the stigma that her marriage failed because she wont remain faithfil because of her hormones.

I think she does loves you, but her mind is bouncing all over the ****ing place. She's torn between living this fantasy of instant gratification or this lifelong dream of family life. But you need to make a decision for both of y'all. It's gonna hurt it's gonna be painful. But make her realize that when the divorce is final that when she's single she must support her self and pay child support for your two children like a responsible parent.

Dont take anything that's going through her head personally. She has a lot of ****ing issues!! racial, sexual, family. I mean damn so much baggage do you want to carry her **** when she's not doing anything to help you relieve the pain? You dont need that. You can survive this and be a good father on your own to those two kids. Teach them how you treat people. Teach them how to be responsible and successes in life.

I bet you when you start to detach and dont care about her life any more you'll be better off. Oh and trust me you need to workout more you'll be such a chick magnet. Women love single fathers especially when they are doing the damn thing. It shows responsibility and purpose. And I bet you that your next woman would be better than your ex in all other ways hands down. I've been meeting great women since the breakup. I've learned alot and met alot of people.

Time to let go. It's not worth your sanity. It's not worth your self respect and you dont need a woman who cant be a wife and a lover to you especially when she's not the one. She's stomped you down too much, it's time to do you. As always.

Do what must be done!

[MuffinMan]

I think you should let her go Jerry...

I bet your wife is drop dead gorgeous. Your holding on to her beacause you want that family. You want the mother of your kids in their lives. She's so obscessed with living this fantasy of being an independant woman and being free. Than with that freedom she must move out. If she wants to be single then she must inherit all that it is about being single. She's gonna have to live with the stigma that her marriage failed because she wont remain faithfil because of her hormones.

I think she does loves you, but her mind is bouncing all over the ****ing place. She's torn between living this fantasy of instant gratification or this lifelong dream of family life. But you need to make a decision for both of y'all. It's gonna hurt it's gonna be painful. But make her realize that when the divorce is final that when she's single she must support her self and pay child support for your two children like a responsible parent.

Dont take anything that's going through her head personally. She has a lot of ****ing issues!! racial, sexual, family. I mean damn so much baggage do you want to carry her **** when she's not doing anything to help you relieve the pain? You dont need that. You can survive this and be a good father on your own to those two kids. Teach them how you treat people. Teach them how to be responsible and successes in life.

I bet you when you start to detach and dont care about her life any more you'll be better off. Oh and trust me you need to workout more you'll be such a chick magnet. Women love single fathers especially when they are doing the damn thing. It shows responsibility and purpose. And I bet you that your next woman would be better than your ex in all other ways hands down. I've been meeting great women since the breakup. I've learned alot and met alot of people.

Time to let go. It's not worth your sanity. It's not worth your self respect and you dont need a woman who cant be a wife and a lover to you especially when she's not the one. She's stomped you down too much, it's time to do you. As always.

Do what must be done!

No offense, but you make her sound like a poor confused soul.

NOT...shes a f#cking s!ut pure and simple. She has proven that.

And THAT is why he needs to dump her. An no matter how many wh0re tears she cries...he should not soften up. MAN UP and dump this worthless piece of trash.

[Ravage]

No offense, but you make her sound like a poor confused soul.

NOT...shes a f#cking s!ut pure and simple. She has proven that.

And THAT is why he needs to dump her. An no matter how many wh0re tears she cries...he should not soften up. MAN UP and dump this worthless piece of trash.

I'm not sticking up for her but with all the things he said about her family and ****ed up childhood. I am somewhat simpathetic to her plight. I understand that when you come from a ****-up family, most of the times you end up like them. That was all I was pointing out. I agree with you that he needs to leave. What makes it bad is that some people are ****s without remorse like my homeboy J, he knows he has an issue with commitment and sex but yet he does nothing to correct it. That's why I was trying to just allievate the situation to him.

She does nothing to change and knows she is ****ed up. That's why I say dump her. Because she has no capacity to change. no need for redemption.

I'm not bitter when my ex cheated on me, yeah we wasnt married but it still hurt. I understand that you have people who are stand up people and people who are **** ups. Basically the people who **** up if they're not willing to stand up then they dont need sympathy. that's where I agree with you. See
I think people can rise and be better but if they dont want to then I'm just as angry as you.

We should all strive to be better, than what we are.

P.S. Muffinman I think you might want to let off a little steam, brother. You've been going hard at people for a minute. lol.

[Skirtchaser]

I think muffin is only stating what I see is the truth about this woman.
I would'nt give this poster any other advice except to dump her worthless as.s.

I would let her get her masters, because her as.s will be paying a good amount of child support. Divorce her and keep her as.s in child support court.
Make her pay for that strange c.ock she lusts after.:)

[MuffinMan]

[I]P.S. Muffinman I think you might want to let off a little steam, brother. You've been going hard at people for a minute. lol.

I blow off steam every day at the gym. And now my wife is taking notice, but she is thinking that I am going to go out and cheat on her now because my hard work is paying off.

karma is a b!tch isn't it?

[Jerry]

Well, I think that she realizes that the party is over - her idea that she could run around like an 20 year old puta in college is going up in smoke. She's a 36 year old puta period!!
I think you understand her pretty well. I followed your advice and have been igoring her, dated a couple of other ladies (their nuts too) but I'm not letting myself get too involved. They all want a "relationship" and I'm not anywhere ready for that BS again.
Anyway, my soon to be EX has has called me several times since I left asking to come back to the house (move back in). I'm sure she's feeling the financial pressure and is truly realizing that I was financing 100% of her "pedejadas" and had a great lifestyle - just not the sexx that she craved. She probably won't be able to afford to go back to Spain this next summer because I left her with all her own debts and it eats up more than she makes teaching.
I don't even mention Salamanca, or going to one of the local U's anymore - I'm beginning to just not care what she does. She probably is realizing that the cost of the school is not justified but the good times that she had were - and she wants one more run at it. maybe she can find another sugar-daddy to pay for it but I'm out of the picture. i've spent every weekend and a couple of evenings a week with the kids and they aren't happy about the situation but I've explained that we just don't love each other anymore and that Mommy needs to move on.
I'm sure you were all correct - she was with me just for the security but also wanted to be with other men all along. Going to Spain was the opportunity she wanted and wants it at least one more time. But the party is over (at least my end of it).

[Skirtchaser]

It's amusing when the cheater gets what they want and are not happy with it.
Glad your doing well. Good for you. I doubt seriously if she would have changed.

[mrmaximum]

It's amusing when the cheater gets what they want and are not happy with it.
Glad your doing well. Good for you. I doubt seriously if she would have changed.

But she DIDN'T get what she wanted. She wants the adventure of other men AND the security of the "nice warm hubby at home!" And like a typical cheaters all she now sees is that her lifestyle has changed drastically. Good stuff Jerry on leaving the situation and putting your foot down. If you were to ever take her back, it would most likely be only a matter of time before she reverted back to her old ways. I like the way you phrased your post Skirt, brings new meaning to 'be careful waht you wish for...you just might get it!!'

[Ravage]

I'm am so glad you got away from the madness jerry, great for you!!!
I believe in saving the marriage but when you ****ed up as bad as she did? it aint no coming back. Hopefully your stronger than what you were. Dont you feel a great burden has just lifted off of your sholders. Like the weight of the world just disappeared?

I know you feel so relieved roght now. Best thing is to make sure your kids are doing well and take care of them. The best thing to do is to move on, good to know she aint gonna be living that fantasy world, like it was gonna last forever.

Now it's time for you to get that swagger back. Start hitting that gym, bodybuild, lift weights. Go out on dates and bang dime piece *****es left and right. lol. It's time to do you.

But I want to know how does your family react to this situation and everything that has happened? her family? I assume you told them the truth.

[ironyrulz]

You only saw her kiss someone else, right? After you let her booty dance in front of you and just watched??? When you saw her kissing someone else you walked outside alone? Then you left to go sightseeing for 3 days??? I hope y'all were tested for diseases.

Concentrate on being a father, I predict you won't be ready for another relationship for a long time.

I think this situation would have turned out differently if your wife had married someone who could enjoy clubbing with her. But maybe she did serial cheat. I really don't get why she was going to school in Spain to begin with when she had two kids.

And if you've already begun revenge cheating, please don't 'accidentally' kill your wife with HPV. Don't have sex with her again until she knows you've been sleeping around, you don't want to have to explain how mommy died to your kids someday.

I dunno how this is going to look to your kids. If you're dating in your hometown, now you look like the cheater.

[Skirtchaser]

Sounds to me like, she was doing a pretty good job exposing herself to hpv's.

[Jerry]

We are getting divorced. The lawyer already has a date to finish this thing off. I'm dating not fxxxcking! - I won't be having anything to do with her anymore. If I decide to have sxxx then condoms would have to come into play - I'm smarter than that.

[MuffinMan]

We are getting divorced. The lawyer already has a date to finish this thing off. I'm dating not fxxxcking! - I won't be having anything to do with her anymore. If I decide to have sxxx then condoms would have to come into play - I'm smarter than that.

GOOD FOR YOU!! I don't know how you could stand it as long as you put up with that wh0re.

So what is she doing? Did you kick her out?

[Ravage]

Sounds to me like, she was doing a pretty good job exposing herself to hpv's.

LOL!!! skirtchaser. that much is true. if she's lying about all these things to this guy, wonder what else she's doing.

[ironyrulz]

We are getting divorced. The lawyer already has a date to finish this thing off. I'm dating not fxxxcking! - I won't be having anything to do with her anymore. If I decide to have sxxx then condoms would have to come into play - I'm smarter than that.

So it won't be too hard to just wait, right?

Condoms don't protect against HPV-- it is skin, not fluid contact. Some strains lead to cervical cancer, some to genital warts. Herpes is also skin contact. It's ok, sex education sucks. I didn't know about HPV until my lil sis had cancer. If your wife knows about the risk & gets tested annually, they'll catch it early enough to treat.

You're in my thoughts Crissy I hope everything's working out well for you.

And Chase-- she probably had cheated, but I like to look at the best AND worst case scenarios when 'judging' something, (not that I presume to be right), like Mindmelt/Logan said.

[Ravage]

Ironrulz does it matter anymore? he's leaving she put herself before her kids, marriage and him as her husband. She sounds completely selfish, why should he be married to this woman. Yeah HPV is crazy and it's scary to contract it knowing it causes cervical cancer. but remember he's not sleeping with her right now, I assume. lol. Also she can catch HPV from the other man or other woman, if she's like that who knows? but all I do know is Jerry should continue to do him and be happy for himself. He gave his all and she failed him at every turn. It's over.

[tomasingm]

We are getting divorced. The lawyer already has a date to finish this thing off. I'm dating not fxxxcking! - I won't be having anything to do with her anymore. If I decide to have sxxx then condoms would have to come into play - I'm smarter than that.


Dude she is gonna want you back not for love, but for well lets be honest here, you were the bread and butter. The Security she lost that, do not give er the time of day. Like the expression goes you make your bed you sleep in it. All the ***** had to do was forget about the Spain trip thats it....I mean how ****ing stupid can she be. She had it made I mean you saw her kissing some spanish dude and you were willing to let that slide and even then she didnt cool it. Man she is retarded as hell, hey if your kids ask be honest with them dude. She is with them most of the time so Lord knows what kind of crap she is gonna fill their head with to blame and hate you, like you abandoned them or something. (women will use kids against men) So what you need to do is be honest that is the best way to go. The hell with her, find a real lady and live well.......

[ironyrulz]

Ironrulz does it matter anymore? he's leaving she put herself before her kids, marriage and him as her husband. She sounds completely selfish, why should he be married to this woman. Yeah HPV is crazy and it's scary to contract it knowing it causes cervical cancer. but remember he's not sleeping with her right now, I assume. lol. Also she can catch HPV from the other man or other woman, if she's like that who knows? but all I do know is Jerry should continue to do him and be happy for himself. He gave his all and she failed him at every turn. It's over.

IRONY

1.
a. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
b. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
c. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect.
d. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated" (Richard Kain).
e. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.

2.
a. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated" (Richard Kain).
b. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.

-American Heritage Dictionary

NOT

consisting of, containing, or resembling iron. (www.dictionary.com)

I am less than .001 ppm iron probably, and I do not resemble a bodybuilder. Anyone who wants to get under my skin call me Iron and I may waste my time spouting BS so you can laugh at me being sensitive.

I hate being compared to men v people. I like men tho. Especially my Ironman :)



And it only matters if he sleeps with her again and it kills her, as I said.

sorry for spamming jerry

[mrmaximum]

Dude she is gonna want you back not for love, but for well lets be honest here, you were the bread and butter. The Security she lost that, do not give er the time of day. Like the expression goes you make your bed you sleep in it. All the ***** had to do was forget about the Spain trip thats it....I mean how ****ing stupid can she be. She had it made I mean you saw her kissing some spanish dude and you were willing to let that slide and even then she didnt cool it. Man she is retarded as hell, hey if your kids ask be honest with them dude. She is with them most of the time so Lord knows what kind of crap she is gonna fill their head with to blame and hate you, like you abandoned them or something. (women will use kids against men) So what you need to do is be honest that is the best way to go. The hell with her, find a real lady and live well.......

Not retarded as hell, selfish as hell. So in to her own wants and needs that she threw caution to the wind. That isn't someone that you should spend any time with Jerry! Do yourself a favor, she did this and f@cked herself up, it's pretty obvious that she isn't operating in the kids best interests. Get them if you can, bud, they are better off with you!!

[Jerry]

Getting divorced is a complicated issue - it's probably better to simply live with my next woman. I'm asking to get the kids but my lawyer says that since I adopted them and she is their natural mother that she will likely get them and I can have them a couple of days a week - or on a vacation once a year until they are a bit older (12 years) at which time they can choose to come with me. I've explained why their Mom and I are divorcing and their Mom is VERY upset for me for telling them what had happened in Spain.

I told her "Tough shxxt, you made the mess now deal with it!"
She keeps begging me to come back to the house and telling me that she loves me, that she is sorry about what she did, that she will never do anything like that again - blah, blah blah.

But she's going back to her Spain to finish her "Maestre" BS in spite of everything. She can't resist going back and getting more of what she got last year but she swears she won't do anything like last year if we stay together. Got to give her credit for being tenacious.

The divorce should be sompleted in two months or so - meanwhile I'm just cruising - not getting involved with anyone but looking forward to ending this mess. thanks for all you guy's advice. it helped me stay focused.

[tomasingm]

Getting divorced is a complicated issue - it's probably better to simply live with my next woman. I'm asking to get the kids but my lawyer says that since I adopted them and she is their natural mother that she will likely get them and I can have them a couple of days a week - or on a vacation once a year until they are a bit older (12 years) at which time they can choose to come with me. I've explained why their Mom and I are divorcing and their Mom is VERY upset for me for telling them what had happened in Spain.

I told her "Tough shxxt, you made the mess now deal with it!"
She keeps begging me to come back to the house and telling me that she loves me, that she is sorry about what she did, that she will never do anything like that again - blah, blah blah.

But she's going back to her Spain to finish her "Maestre" BS in spite of everything. She can't resist going back and getting more of what she got last year but she swears she won't do anything like last year if we stay together. Got to give her credit for being tenacious.

The divorce should be sompleted in two months or so - meanwhile I'm just cruising - not getting involved with anyone but looking forward to ending this mess. thanks for all you guy's advice. it helped me stay focused.

I am truly happy for you . Holy ****, after everything even if it meant her marriage she is still bent on going over there???? Man oh man, I have been to Spain before and I will say this it is over rated. Well the good news is that you ave been completely honest with the children (no matter what any one says) it is the right thing to do. YOur children will appreciate that when they get older and repsect the fact that you took them into consideration during everything. Hell when they get old enough they will want to leave her anyways. She is going to want you back, hell she will be even more desperate than ever for you back. She needs you, literally, mortgage, bills etc.

[Ravage]

Great news you have jerry. I know you loved her but she is too conceited to remain married if she doesnt understand the concept of marriage. I think most people nowadays have this dual personality. I think she does love you but she puts herself first too much because she loves herself more narsistic traits. Have you had her diagnosed.

But also about the kids I didnt know they was adopted? do you have to pay any form of child suport since the cildren arent biologically yours? I mean the courst said she's the natural mother? but how's that possible did she get them before she met you or did you get them when you was married?

All in all your gonna make it on your own. You dont need her. She so shortsighted she can have that masters pay her bills and take care of her kids. Her priorities are scewed up and it's not about you it's all her mindset.

[Jerry]

i adopted them while we were still living in Mexico. I assumed "responsibility" of them while we were still in Mexico. They were one and three years old at the time.

She was married for seven years and I met her shortly after her divorce. The assumed responsibility is similar to adoption in the US and the immigration laws permit the action.

[Jerry]

I've gave up trying to convince her that she screwed up and that she should cut her losses short and move on. just as you all said - there is only one way to get a Masters - The Hard Way. Sixty hours of hard grinding work at a decent University, right here in Texas.

She has to know by now that the "Maestre" degree she is shooting for is really a certificate that gives her at the most six credits at an American Univ. I believe that there is something else driving her decision but she eithe doesnt recognize it or she's hiding it. It's not education.

Maybe someday when she figures it all out she will tell me but I'm not waiting around - I've moved on and I'm not looking back.

[tomasingm]

I've gave up trying to convince her that she screwed up and that she should cut her losses short and move on. just as you all said - there is only one way to get a Masters - The Hard Way. Sixty hours of hard grinding work at a decent University, right here in Texas.

She has to know by now that the "Maestre" degree she is shooting for is really a certificate that gives her at the most six credits at an American Univ. I believe that there is something else driving her decision but she eithe doesnt recognize it or she's hiding it. It's not education.

Maybe someday when she figures it all out she will tell me but I'm not waiting around - I've moved on and I'm not looking back.


Good move, I honstely think she is immature, you are past that. I know you love your kids (They are yours as you have rasied them.) But mommy is just to immature to realize that they are far moee things important in life than romantiscizing about "spain." Which let me re-iterate it is so "over-rated" Be glad you bailed when you are young enough to still build your self a decent life with a woman that is ready for a serious relationship. But in all honesty man your ex is going to want you back. Because lets face it 2 divorces under your belt, for the same thing ( "i was accused of cheating but didnt") wont be bringing in the charmers to court her. You tried, the good thing is that you got your self together and will be well off. Good luck brother if you need anyhting else we are here for you.

[hurditallb4]

Are you kidding me controlling????? You are the closest thing to a swinger without actually being one. Are you sure you are from Texas???.. Not only did she cheat when you were in Texas and she was in Spain she did it blatantly with not regard to your children, marriage, or morals when you were THERE. Yes she did F*ck him she did it alot. Tell her to get her Masters degree through a local university the last I checked the state of Texas has several Universities. And divorce her, you should have thrown her off the balcony in the hotel and said she fell over, honestly the would have been best. You could have saved your self do much money, dignity, respect through a divorce. And as a widow you'll ge tmore chicks than a divorced guy.


OMG!!!!:eek:

[hurditallb4]

Are you kidding me controlling????? You are the closest thing to a swinger without actually being one. Are you sure you are from Texas???.. Not only did she cheat when you were in Texas and she was in Spain she did it blatantly with not regard to your children, marriage, or morals when you were THERE. Yes she did F*ck him she did it alot. Tell her to get her Masters degree through a local university the last I checked the state of Texas has several Universities. And divorce her, you should have thrown her off the balcony in the hotel and said she fell over, honestly the would have been best. You could have saved your self do much money, dignity, respect through a divorce. And as a widow you'll ge tmore chicks than a divorced guy.


OMG!!!!:eek:

[tomasingm]

;) OMG!!!!:eek:

Holy crap I said that??? Shame on me.

[hurditallb4]

This reminds me of what I tell my firneds before they go blow their paychecks at a strip club. "You are gonna get ****ed, but not laid". Not surprisingly, they all owe me money.


LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!

[MuffinMan]

Well Jerry...I've heard enough from you about your wife...uh sorry, excuse me...wh0re, that I f#ckin' hate her...and I don't even know her.

You are doing the right thing. Don't ever let her weasel her way back in your life...nobody needs a b!tch like that.

Good luck in the future.

[tomasingm]

Well Jerry...I've heard enough from you about your wife...uh sorry, excuse me...wh0re, that I f#ckin' hate her...and I don't even know her.

You are doing the right thing. Don't ever let her weasel her way back in your life...nobody needs a b!tch like that.

Good luck in the future.


Muffin, you always have a way with words. :D :cool:

[Ravage]

Jerry it's time to do you now. have you started working out? Getting a new wardrobe. hitting the clubs. No it's time to hit the titty bar. lol.

[mrmaximum]

Good stuff Jerry, that is good to hear. Sorry about the kids though, it would be much better if you got them, I'm sure in due time you will anyway. Don't fall for her tricks though, through those children she now has a tether to you and will most likely try to get back with you in the future. She's begging now, but Tomas is right, two divorces under he belt for the same thing and then her income will be greatly affected, she will be outright PLEADING for you. Once again, glad to hear that this witch is almost gone, hope you get the kids in the furture.