Jules
03-24-2006, 08:38 AM
Hi All I just wanted to share my sob story with you, sorry that it is so long...
I met my bf a little more than a year ago. We worked together and started dating and it became serious very quickly. A couple of months ago I needed to move abroad because of my studies and my boyfriend came with me. Everything was going perfect. Of course we had fights like any other couple, but for the most part we had a great relationship. We always wanted to spend time together..Whether it was hanging out and watching TV or going our or even little things like shopping and cleaning our apartment. He was always so helpful with that and because I was studying a lot he would often gladly volunteer to do the dishes and cook and clean...To make a long story short, our relationship was almost perfect and I was the envy of women everywhere.
Recently, (as I said in the other post) the place where my boyfriend works hired a new girl. She is from the same place in the states as my bf and she's very talkative and young and attractive and the way she dresses....she's definitely not trying to leave anything up to the imagination.
When she first started working and the nickname incident occurred... I started noticing a trend with my boyfriend (and a lot of it was word for word what the signs of a cheating bf are) he started coming home more tired all the time. He almost completely stopped helping around the house. He just comes home we eat and he says how he's sooo tired and there is sooo much work and goes on to watch tv and fall asleep. Not to mention that our sex life has become practically non existent. Which I can rationalize that he does have more work now than before, more clients and more responsibility so yes it might be more stressful and tiring than before. But to make matters worse... last week (after a fight involving her) we went out to a club where our friend is the manager, and since it was St. Patrick's day...he was throwing a big party and guess who is bartending...yep the same girl!!! I tried asking my bf oh what's she doing here and he said he didn't know and then a couple of days later he said he got her the job. Also while we were there we went to get drinks and were smoking a cig. and she took a puff of his cig. ~~ I never considered myself a germophobe but sharing germs with someone u've only known for a week...if nothing is going on --is a little too soon.
He also stopped calling me during the day-- he used to call 3-4 times from the office just to see what's up--that has stopped almost completely and he also used to be online at the office and now he's practically never on and when he is on he almost never responds.
Anyway, I know I sound like an insecure mess but all these and other things combined... just gives me a bad feeling.
The worst part of it all I really don't have a way to find out what's going on. The place we live in, if they even have a private detective he's probably super expensive but not only that it's such a small place and everyone knows everyone so I can’t even tell anyone about this and risk embarrassing myself and everyone involved... I really just need to know the truth for myself if this is just my imagination or whether it's real and I need to leave him and get on with my life!!! I don't want to confront him because I don't really have any proof but I don't want to be wondering every day what he's up to…
:confused:
I met my bf a little more than a year ago. We worked together and started dating and it became serious very quickly. A couple of months ago I needed to move abroad because of my studies and my boyfriend came with me. Everything was going perfect. Of course we had fights like any other couple, but for the most part we had a great relationship. We always wanted to spend time together..Whether it was hanging out and watching TV or going our or even little things like shopping and cleaning our apartment. He was always so helpful with that and because I was studying a lot he would often gladly volunteer to do the dishes and cook and clean...To make a long story short, our relationship was almost perfect and I was the envy of women everywhere.
Recently, (as I said in the other post) the place where my boyfriend works hired a new girl. She is from the same place in the states as my bf and she's very talkative and young and attractive and the way she dresses....she's definitely not trying to leave anything up to the imagination.
When she first started working and the nickname incident occurred... I started noticing a trend with my boyfriend (and a lot of it was word for word what the signs of a cheating bf are) he started coming home more tired all the time. He almost completely stopped helping around the house. He just comes home we eat and he says how he's sooo tired and there is sooo much work and goes on to watch tv and fall asleep. Not to mention that our sex life has become practically non existent. Which I can rationalize that he does have more work now than before, more clients and more responsibility so yes it might be more stressful and tiring than before. But to make matters worse... last week (after a fight involving her) we went out to a club where our friend is the manager, and since it was St. Patrick's day...he was throwing a big party and guess who is bartending...yep the same girl!!! I tried asking my bf oh what's she doing here and he said he didn't know and then a couple of days later he said he got her the job. Also while we were there we went to get drinks and were smoking a cig. and she took a puff of his cig. ~~ I never considered myself a germophobe but sharing germs with someone u've only known for a week...if nothing is going on --is a little too soon.
He also stopped calling me during the day-- he used to call 3-4 times from the office just to see what's up--that has stopped almost completely and he also used to be online at the office and now he's practically never on and when he is on he almost never responds.
Anyway, I know I sound like an insecure mess but all these and other things combined... just gives me a bad feeling.
The worst part of it all I really don't have a way to find out what's going on. The place we live in, if they even have a private detective he's probably super expensive but not only that it's such a small place and everyone knows everyone so I can’t even tell anyone about this and risk embarrassing myself and everyone involved... I really just need to know the truth for myself if this is just my imagination or whether it's real and I need to leave him and get on with my life!!! I don't want to confront him because I don't really have any proof but I don't want to be wondering every day what he's up to…
:confused: