New Wife - Very Confused

[nr1983]

I just got married a week and a half ago. 2 days before the wedding I read a conversation my now husband had with a girl on AOL. It seemed to indicate that she had a webcam and they used to "chat". He says he misses those chats and wants her to get a webcam again. His exact phrase "better with somebody I know than someone on the internet". I need help. I know he still talks to her, but I only found this conversation because I was spying on him. I'm afraid to confront him because I was technically wrong to spy, even though I had a gut feeling. Also, I know that he spent every summer with this girl at a camp where he taught since we have been together. Am I crazy to think that this was just an internet relationship. Also, I need to know your opinions, is masturbating to images of a friend cheating or just simple pleasure? I tend to think it is cheating because he wants (or at least indicated i the conversation i read) to continue this behavior. Please help, I want to know the truth but i don't want him to totally shut down because I spied on him. What should i Do???

[markus]

He spends all summer humping this girl and now he's trying to get pussy pics so he can whack one off untill the next time he can get into her panties and your concerned what he will think when you tell him what you know ?

Your a chicken sh*t
Are you one of those that will allow him to do anything he likes and not do anything about it incase he leaves you - Is settling for the crumbs better than having nothing at all ?

Also, I need to know your opinions, is masturbating to images of a friend cheating or just simple pleasure?

No ... its how all married men start their marriages ..... We all have a right to get F*ck buddies and beat our meat on the internet with them :confused:



HES CHEATING .....

http://www.wyolife.com/kerryfest/Suckerfile/suckerofyear04.jpg

[exhausted]

IMO.. He has worked with her and he chats with her and has pictures of her and he is wanting a webcam..

I can do the math here...

1. He has tapped that a$$ prolly on severl ocassions..
2. She sends him pictures of her b(.)(.)bs or just the (.) and it he spanks his meat to it.. Nah.. Nothing wrong with that!!
3. He wants a webcam so, they can have some online sex..

3 wrongs don't equal a right!!

If this girl is even remotley close, driving distance or a short flight than He probably goes over their..

You haven't been married long.. Get out now before your marriage really gets worse..

Sounds like to me he has been with this girl as long as he has been with you.. ie.. camp...You never know who your friends are until they sleep w/your man..

[WhyamIhere]

Some of you guys on here sound like bitter heartless people :confused:

[exhausted]

Not bitter or heartless.. Just stating the facts!!

[tomasingm]

You said that you were wrong to spy???? No that is your husband you have a right to know who you are marrying and getting yourself into. Looks to me that there should have been some pre-marrital spying and you would not have been in tis predicament. Ge the marriage annauled ASAP.....

[SuckerFree]

Some of you guys on here sound like bitter heartless people :confused:


Sorry, didn't mean for us guys to find out the truth.

[SuckerFree]

You said that you were wrong to spy???? No that is your husband you have a right to know who you are marrying and getting yourself into. Looks to me that there should have been some pre-marrital spying and you would not have been in tis predicament. Ge the marriage annauled ASAP.....

Why? Now she has a permanent wage slave who has signed an agreement with the Governement. An Annulment would ruin that for her.

[markus]

Im bitter but not heartless

This poster needs to hear these opinions because she's confused about boundaries in a relationship and they are different for everyone but one thing is guaranteed ....... Theres no place in any relationship for dishonesty
Hiding things , affairs , internet relationships etc
Thats infidelity , cheating !!

Maybe its not right to spy but sometimes you have to do these things when you have that gut feeling telling you somethings not right
All she has to do is be honest and say .... I want to talk
Ive had a gut feeling you have been unfaithfull in the past and have been cheating via the internet so i looked at your computer and found out everything your up to
He will get angry at first and say you spied blah blah blah and you ignore it
say Yes i did because i had good reason to ...enough said about that now explain yourself
and when he's completed his bullsh*t speech ask him if we can now have the truth

[SuckerFree]

Some of you guys on here sound like bitter heartless people :confused:
You make this statement as you just finish up checking your GPS and James Bond tracker.

[tomasingm]

You are absolutely right how dare I think that she would get rid of her "Meal Ticket." Either way whether he is wither her ot not is money is so i Guess for most western women it dosent matter. ONce you have the marriage contract you pretty much have your very own slave.

Suckerfree, you should write a book......

[Pam]

I think that sometimes these brutal comments are necessary. It's hard for someone in the midst of a relationship with someone they care for to clearly see what is obvious to outsiders. That's really why people come here. Deep down inside they know the truth, they just need that slap in the face to bring things to the surface.

Any relationship requires work - and communication. If you can't communicate with your significant other - to tell them what you think, how you feel, etc. Then there isn't much chance for success in the relationship.

My closest friends are the ones who can look me in the face and tell me that I'm doing something stupid. They wouldn't be friends otherwise. So keep the brutally honest comments coming.

Pam

[MuffinMan]

I just got married a week and a half ago. 2 days before the wedding I read a conversation my now husband had with a girl on AOL. It seemed to indicate that she had a webcam and they used to "chat". He says he misses those chats and wants her to get a webcam again. His exact phrase "better with somebody I know than someone on the internet". I need help. I know he still talks to her, but I only found this conversation because I was spying on him. I'm afraid to confront him because I was technically wrong to spy, even though I had a gut feeling. Also, I know that he spent every summer with this girl at a camp where he taught since we have been together. Am I crazy to think that this was just an internet relationship. Also, I need to know your opinions, is masturbating to images of a friend cheating or just simple pleasure? I tend to think it is cheating because he wants (or at least indicated i the conversation i read) to continue this behavior. Please help, I want to know the truth but i don't want him to totally shut down because I spied on him. What should i Do???

This guy is obviously a bastard. If you don't have kids yet...GET OUT of the marriage.

yes, you spied on him...but what is he going to do?...get pi$$ed because he got caught being a cheating bastard? And it is cheating. His heart is not completely with you if he gets into another girl on webcam...and don't think he hasn't thought about meeting this other girl at sometime in the future.

[TxTornado]

Am I the only one who caught "2 days before the wedding"? Technically you were wrong for spying... pfffttt! You married him two days later... technically that was just plain stoopid!

[markus]

Needing to use this forum a week and a half after a getting married is not the best start :(
But hey its better to know now than catch him several years

[littlered]

ANYthing that you do that you wouldn't do with your spouse sitting right next to you is cheating. Whether it's flirting, having cybersex, or whacking off to internet ****. If it isn't something he'd do with you standing right there, it's wrong.
My hubby and I had a talk about **** recently. I don't like it, I find it exploitive and if he's getting off, I want it to be ME that he gets off to. He said, well, what am I supposed to do when I'm in the shower?
He took some VERY private sexy pics of me when we first married. I laminated them and put them in an envelope, with a note: Have fun in the shower, sweetie."
He laughed and then looked at the pics (They'd been put away so he hadn't seen them in awhile) and went "DAAAYUUUUM!" with his eyes real wide.
His shower this morning took a little while longer than usual...hmmmm...LOL

[MuffinMan]

ANYthing that you do that you wouldn't do with your spouse sitting right next to you is cheating. Whether it's flirting, having cybersex, or whacking off to internet ****. If it isn't something he'd do with you standing right there, it's wrong.His shower this morning took a little while longer than usual...hmmmm...LOL

What about picking my butt?

[littlered]

muffinman...

ok.LOL....picking your butt is ok to do on your own. So is squeezing zits. So is blowing your nose....AS LONG AS YOU DON'T INSIST ON SHOWING IT TO ME AFTERWARDS!
off topic, but is there some unwritten rule that if anything comes out of/off of a man's body, he MUST show it to his spouse?? Like, "Look here, honey..."

LOL..
thanks, I needed the laugh.

[Skirtchaser]

What did you expect someone to tell you, alls well in your marriage? You came here knowing you have made a big mistake. You have heard what you already know, now you have to convince yourself to get out while you can. I'll bet you don't and he will come crying and promising it won't happen again. But when they meet, bam. If you cannot find the courage to get up and leave the jerk at least keep him away from playgrounds etc..........
Playboy mags are one thing, I can't think of a single friend I would want pictures of. Good Luck.

[Skirtchaser]

Hey little red, Great pictures. Your hubby posted them on Private Voyeur.com.
Since your not my friend, they are just por. n By the way he listed them as lil red. Check it out. :o

[elainegayla]

I think snooping is important every once in awhile. I went ten years with no clue what my husband was really up to b/c I wasn't gonna snoop. I just would try to know what was going on by asking and talking. Well, that doesn't work when they aren't going to tell. I think NOT snooping was unhealthy. Blind, devoted love is not healthy.

Why does everyone make this out to be this awful evil? I mean, its not like you are a stalker! Your his wife. What he does can have a huge impact on your life and health.

If I stay in this marriage or start another relationship, I will remember every once in awhile to VERIFY by independent means what is being told to me at least every once in awhile.

[MuffinMan]

Some of you guys on here sound like bitter heartless people :confused:

Bitter?...yes..heartless. No. In fact, I am just the opposite of heartless. Cared very much for my wife, would do anything for her...definitely didn't neglect her, wanted her every night. And always told her she was beautiful.

So when you treat a woman like a queen, then find out 7 years and 2 kids later she cheated on you...yes, you tend to be bitter. Its like all the kindness and love I have displayed was taken for granted and for nothing.

Needless to say, she f*#ked all that up. Now she wishes she had the husband back that treated her well. It'll never happen again. I won't treat her like dirt, but I sure as hell am not bending over backwards for her anymore.

[MuffinMan]

muffinman...

ok.LOL....picking your butt is ok to do on your own. So is squeezing zits. So is blowing your nose....AS LONG AS YOU DON'T INSIST ON SHOWING IT TO ME AFTERWARDS!
off topic, but is there some unwritten rule that if anything comes out of/off of a man's body, he MUST show it to his spouse?? Like, "Look here, honey..."

LOL..
thanks, I needed the laugh.

LOL...gotta laugh once in a while...lord knows we all need it.

[littlered]

Hey little red, Great pictures. Your hubby posted them on Private Voyeur.com.
Since your not my friend, they are just por. n By the way he listed them as lil red. Check it out. :o

Yeh, right.:p Ya wanker.

[MuffinMan]

Yeh, right.:p Ya wanker.

You got pics on the net?....oooooh...can I see? My wife only lets other men see her naked....throw me a bone here...I need something!!! LOL. j/k.

[Pam]

I think snooping is important every once in awhile. I went ten years with no clue what my husband was really up to b/c I wasn't gonna snoop. I just would try to know what was going on by asking and talking. Well, that doesn't work when they aren't going to tell. I think NOT snooping was unhealthy. Blind, devoted love is not healthy.

Why does everyone make this out to be this awful evil? I mean, its not like you are a stalker! Your his wife. What he does can have a huge impact on your life and health.

If I stay in this marriage or start another relationship, I will remember every once in awhile to VERIFY by independent means what is being told to me at least every once in awhile.

Ya, I think knowing what your mate is doing is important and sometimes looking through their stuff is necessary. Unless you have some nefarious motive it isn't really bad to do this. If they have a problem with you looking around there's probably a reason - they're trying to hide something. My boyfriend practically invites me to snoop in his stuff. He's given me passwords to everything of his - whether I like it or not - bank accounts and everything. And he's asked me to go through his personal papers for different reasons. If I was a bad person I could really do some damage. If you read my initial post, he did cheat on me early in our relationship. He told me about it right after it happened and I believe that it was an isolated incident and that he truly has no intention of doing it again. It seems as though he goes out of his way to prove to me that he means it. And his circle of life is relatively small so there isn't much room for him to do things outside of our relationship without creating some kind of suspicion.

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[SuckerFree]

You are absolutely right how dare I think that she would get rid of her "Meal Ticket." Either way whether he is wither her ot not is money is so i Guess for most western women it dosent matter. ONce you have the marriage contract you pretty much have your very own slave.

Suckerfree, you should write a book......


What to call it though :cool: A long way to go for a date is already taken. How bout this? I am 40 years old, I feel 70, I have a huge mortgage, 2 SUV's (I drive the crappy one), my kids are distant to me, my wife hasn't touched my pee pee in 4 months, I am a total wage slave and will never come close to doing anything I ever dreamed of all because I wanted to get laid by some average looking suburban chick. Yeah, that's a great title right there.

[SuckerFree]

Am I the only one who caught "2 days before the wedding"? Technically you were wrong for spying... pfffttt! You married him two days later... technically that was just plain stoopid!

Yeah, I caught all that to. Sounds like the "just get him to the alter, what color napkins are we gonna use at the reception" syndrome clouding her thinking.

[MuffinMan]

Some of you guys on here sound like bitter heartless people :confused:

The cheaters in our lives made us that way.