Would you leave your wife if she cheated?

[waldo24]

Just would like to know how some of you feel about cheating-Would you leave your wife if she cheated on you? Would having a 16 month old kid make any difference? We are starting to have a few problems and would just like to hear from some other guys who have been cheated on.

[markus]

Im still with my wife so i guess children do make a difference

[tomasingm]

From your posts that you "still want to work things out it sounds to me like you have already made up your mind. But yes kids do make a difference, nobody wants to destabilize their children's environment. Most (great) parents, fathers and mothers, that put their kids first. (like marcus) Do what is best for their children so as a result you have many men and women that will tolerate infidelities for the sake of maintaining a family. But once kids are grown up and on their own, the rules change.........And suddenly kicking your cheating wife/husband out on the street isn't such a hard decision to make.

[exhausted]

It all depends on if the other person can TRUST the other or not.....

Kids do make a difference.. but, @ 16 months they will deal better than say a 10 yr old IMO..

It all depends on if you two can work it out or not..

Keep us posted..

[phillipsosophy]

What I have found is that if there is love still in your marriage and your wife genuinely loves you and is done with the snake in the grass...Then yes stay. My wife cheated on me 4 years ago and im just finding out, so mabey its a bit easier that this is not a current problem than more of a past one. My wife and I are now closer more than ever because of the affair... It makes you look closer at what really matters in this life. Good luck to you my friend.

[tooots]

I can speak as the woman in this scenario. I have remained in a 25 year marriage with so many bumps it looks like a mountain bike course.

Life for my husband and I seemed to be going so beautifully up until almost 4 months ago. Now it seems like everything I have worked for is about to go out the window.

Our kids are grown but we raise 4 other children from someone else. These children all have special needs. My husband made this decision with me and we both agreed to do this.

Now I find out my husband was talking to some woman and receiving love letters, found him in a dark alley with female employee in our truck and he has been disappearing both in his car and on his bike late at night. There are so many other signs it looks like a highway.

He has been busted countless times lately and I am now just waiting to move into my brand new house and see if this midlife crisis irons itself out or do I tell him to move his ass out. It will be at that time that I will then have my cry, pick up the pieces and try to start over. I will however be in a new house with some cash in the bank because by then I will have had all the bills paid off. I just recently cancelled his credit cards and told him to his face I did just that. He knows in his heart I did it to protect my financial situation. I am not stupid and I know I need to make sure my affairs are in order incase I have to be on my own.

If my husband wants to dump me for some two bit skank from work that is boinking him while her second husband is home looking after the kids... so be it!

I will eventually find someone new that will love me for me and my outspoken ways. I will at least feel the passion and the love I have been lacking for years. I am tired of forcing him to hug me or tell me he loves me when i know he cringes at the thought of saying it.

If you want to repair your marriage and your wife does too... you are half way there.

Good luck and I hope you find harmony once again.

[SuckerFree]

Just would like to know how some of you feel about cheating-Would you leave your wife if she cheated on you? Would having a 16 month old kid make any difference? We are starting to have a few problems and would just like to hear from some other guys who have been cheated on.


I thought you guys worked it out after finding her with another man on your anniversary? I know myself. I would split and not look back. Not even to make a phone call. With kids, i would just be another weekend daddy I assume.

[markus]

I thought you guys worked it out

The anti depression tablets must be wearing off

its never simple trying to work things out after they cheat on you
One minute you feel things are going ok & the next you feel a **** for giving them another chance :D

[MuffinMan]

"What I have found is that if there is love still in your marriage and your wife genuinely loves you"

If she cheated on you, then she didn't "genuinely" love you.
I'm in a situation where she says she wants me and wants no part of the cheating, but I will NEVER trust her again....I told her this.

Its no wonder when guys are controlling. I'm not controlling mind you, but I have told her what she can and cannot do based on what is expected of a good mother and wife. I won't forcibly stop her from doing anything, but if she does anything I don't much approve of from here on out, her belongings will be on the front lawn, and I'll be calling her mother to come pick her up.
And the kids will stay with me, someone who won't teach them that cheating is okay.

[ChicagoTRS]

If she admits to the affair and is truly sorry I would forgive her and work on the marriage...no doubt.

If the affair continues or she continues to communicate with the other man...leave her now...

[MuffinMan]

would I leave my wife if she cheated on me? If I found out she was cheating to this day or within the last couple of years, yes, but I wouldn't be the one leaving....she will and without my boys.

[Ravage]

Yeah I'd say like 80% I lean in that direction. Ewspecially if she keeps doing it and I ask her. Kids or no kids. You got to show kids that you will be respected one way or another. Kids learn from their parents and gravitate towards the one who get's ****ted on the most. Case in point a son whos father is a serial cheat and mom's who's trying to make her marriage last to an ungrateful son of a *****. nuff said.

I would leave especially if she had no remorse. We as men deserve respect especially when we do everything right.

But if I wanted to work things out maybe we could separate and figure out what happens next, give her a taste of what divorce might feel like.

It's hard but deep inside you know what needs to be done...

[MuffinMan]

I know this thread is old....BUT


What I have found is that if there is love still in your marriage and your wife genuinely loves you and is done with the snake in the grass...Then yes stay.

F#CK THAT!!!


My wife cheated on me 4 years ago and im just finding out, so mabey its a bit easier that this is not a current problem than more of a past one.

My wife cheated on me and I found out 7 years later. And after some investigation, found out the 7 year ago fling wasn't the only one.

What did I do? Kicked her out of the house and filed for divorce.


My wife and I are now closer more than ever because of the affair...

Hate to say it, but its because she handed your balls to you. Lemme guess, somehow this was YOUR fault that she spread her legs for another man?


It makes you look closer at what really matters in this life.

What mattes in life? What matters in life is that NOBODY should have to put up with having someone that cheated on them. NOBODY in their right mind would stay with their betrayer and think an affair made things better.

Notice I posted over 2 years ago 2 replies up and I can say that in the last couple of years, divorcing the c##t was the right decision. I am living again.

[Skirtchaser]

I agree Muffin, this was a good post to bring up.

The problem with phillip's theory is there are more than one snake in the grass, if she cheated with one, she will find another one crawling by.

[demoralized]

Don't stay for the sake of the child.

As exhausted said, a 16 month old child, won't ever remember what happened and will not have the hurt and pain, and separation anxiety of divorce as an older child. Divorced parents is all they'll ever know, and the effect won't be as great.


There is only 1 reason to stay, REMORSE FROM THE CHEATER!

Real remorse, accepting that they made the wrong choice, and it is them at fault and them alone.

[Slim]

Read restoring my life, youll see what ive got to say about that.