How do I get through this for good?

[sweetface212]

You guys, I've been coming on this site for a while now, and I've found it very therapeutic. Now I need your help. I broke up with my guy, for good, last week, and I've been feeling like crap since. I found another profile of his online, and although it's been a while (more than 6 months) since he'd logged in, I had had enough. Well, I left him, and instead of feeling any type of remorse, he's denying everything, and blaming me for once again being insecure. His exact words to me? "This is getting old. I'm too old to be playing these games. You're way too insecure and need to get over the past. I'm not doing anything, and haven't done anything wrong." That was the last convo we had. We'd been in contact via text messages, but now, for the past 2 or 3 days, that has stopped. I've also notices that he has not called me once since we broke up, it's always been me calling him. Well, last night, I was snooping in his bank account online (we share many bills, so I have all his information), and I found he had paid for a hotel room for this weekend in a part of the state he lives in, about 2 hours from his city. I looked on his phone bill, and sure enough, I found a phone number he had called in the same town as the hotel he had booked. I called the number just because I wanted to confirm it was a woman, and yes she was a female, but it was her work number. Now I didn't want to get into any confrontation with the woman, because I already know he had been up to no good, and it was pointless to involve somebody else into my mess, but the thing that bothers me the most is that why do I feel so much pain and hurt, and all he's doing is going out and getting laid? I mean, why doesn't he hurt? I know its a question no one may be able to answer, but I'm dying inside, and he's out there doing his thing. He's not even owning up to his wrongdoings. I mean, how do I get past this? How do I move on? Right now I'm emotionally and physically ill from all of this, while he's out getting hotel rooms. Someone please offer me some words of wisdom here. Thanks.

[monkeyman]

Have you had any proof of any hotel rooms being booked whilst he was still with you? or any evidence of any wrong doing whilst you were together?

[sweetface212]

One time in the past, I saw a hotel room on his bill, but it was also during a weekend that we had been breaking up. We have been "breaking up" for quite some time now, but the thing that gets to me is that while I'm over here crying and questioning myself, he's over there getting it on with some chick. I just wonder if he's ever going to feel any sort of remorse for all he's put me through (believe me, I don't have the time or energy to list the things I've been through because of him). I'm a pretty logical person, and I know I shouldn't be wasting so much of my energy on a person like him, but it's really tough when you invest so much of yourself into someone, and there's no return for your investment. I just wanna know of a way to get through this without breaking down and contacting him, or if he contacts me, falling back into this black hole.

[exhausted]

Sounds like to me he is using "the being broke up to justify his cheating!"

[monkeyman]

Whether he has cheted on you before or not, sounds to me he has little feelings or respect for you if he is planning on meeting another woman so soon after your break up. Easier said than done but you are best off trying to forget this bloke, and find someone that deserves you.

[confused]

I don't want to be blunt. But its a fact. YOU love him more...therefore YOU hurt more.

I love this dude named "Greg Behrendt"....he is so "to the point".....he wrote a book called "He's just not that 'in' to you".....and now has a talk show apparently.

anyhow..thats what it sounds like.

"He's just not that in to you" (at least anymore)......so what you need to do to move on for good?
GET SELFISH....and do things for yourself. Join a gym. get an extra job to both keep your mind busy...AND earn extra cash to spend on wardrobe for YOU.....or car......or rims.......or a vacation....or hairdo.

Whatever. But get that mind busy....and busy on OTHER THINGS rather than thinking of him and the multitude of women he's going to do at a hotel.

[sweetface212]

Thanks for all your words you guys. I feel a bit better now. I'm not goin back, no matter what. I'm gonna be okay....