Going Crazy

[Misled]

I am looking for some sound advice on my situation with my soon to be ex wife. About three months ago she came to me and siad she was not happy. No real reason, just that she thought our marriage was not what she believed it to be. We have no kids (tried for 2 years) and we agreed to split everything 50/50.

Now for the good part....last week i found a text message to some guy saying the wanted to F*** him while he was watching football etc, she also sent pictures of her lower extremedies to him. I asked her about it not mentioning that i saw the text message and all she will say is that she goes out with her friends. She barely comes home and usually stay out at one of her friends houses.

I really want to get a hold of her cell phone to see what else is on there, but i am not sure if i just take it from her if i would be in trouble. I also would like to change the locks on the doors, but the mortgage is in both our names, even though i pay it.

I have started to consult an attorney but i am not sure what my rights are. If she is having an affair there should be no reason for me to split everything 50/50 right??

If anyone has some sound advise it would be gretly appreciated!!

[SuckerFree]

Well you mentioned you didn't have children. A lot of factors will be determined by the courts. Do you have property? What are your salaries. Also, why do you care about what she does? She is having an affiar, this is what sprung her decision to have a divorce. I would fight for every single thing I had. Wow, after two whole years marriage wasn't what she thought. Sigh. Go buy a book called "fire your wife" and do much much research. This isn't the time to get soft. Without children or shared property I see no reason for this women to even smell 50%.

[Misled]

We do have the house some 401K's, cars etc, but the only real issue would be the house. That is in both of our names. I want to keep it. I totally agree with the fact that she should not get 50% but i think it is going to be tought to convince a judge.

I am going to try to subpoena her phone messages and see if that gets me anywhere, but i think i need to have more proof than that.

The whole thing started 3 months ago and she said she wasn't happy. It has only been in the last 3 weeks that she hasn't been coming home and them i found that message and pictures.

Does anyone know the legal rights i would have to just take her phone and get the information off of it. Also if i can legally change the locks on the house to keep her out since she doesn't come home anyway????

[SuckerFree]

Do not leave the house for a minute more than you have to. Meaning don't get a motel room, anything. You stand a good chance of losing the house. However, without children you may have to sell it and split the equity. As far as proving she was cheating. It's irrelevant in court. No fault divorce pretty much means she can do what she wants and it doesn't matter. But your activities will be brought up, bet on it. It's a scam. It takes the place of social welfare. You might make it out of this one not to terribly damaged. I would also go around town and get retainers for the top 5 divorce attorneys. That way she can't hire them. Sounds expensive, but it's cheaper in the long run. Much cheaper.

[SuckerFree]

No, you cannot change the locks. However, she can ask for a restraining order (which she will do after she see's an attorney) and have you thrown out. You have to understand this....Justice and the law are two completely different things. And often, they do not to need to intersect each other. I will immediately ask around about an excellent divorce attorney. Do not delay on that. Also, start trying to mask as much money as possible. Use your debit card, and ask for 100 bucks back in cash. No paper trail...etc. I would be surprised if she hasnt already contacted an attorney with the way she has been behaving.

[SuckerFree]

Suckerfree, suckerfree, suckerfree. I keep telling you guys, you don't wanna listen. Put her name on the house and she ain't even paying the mortgage. And yet another jaded young chap walks the earth. Willie Nelson once said "The next time I wanna get married, I'm gonna find a woman I hate and buy her a house". Misled, cancel all unnecessary bills...cable, long distance, magazines...etc. Cancel all credit cards that you share. You have a lot of life left and a decent future. You don't wanna spend it at your mom's house. Or, you buddies spare room. The internet is finally becoming the excellent research tool it was always intended to be (thanks Al Gore), I suggest you use it.