my wife cheated on our anniversary

[waldo24]

Hey all just thought I might could get some help here. My wife and I and another married couple went on vacation last week to Myrtle Beach and on the second day we went to a bar and when I could not find my wife I went out to the car to look for her and I find the MARRIED guy I went on vacation with having an affair with my drunk wife in his car!!! Oh and it was on our one year anniversary. I would have took her to court as soon as we got home but we have a 15 month old girl and I dont want her in a broken home. Anyone have ideas on how to cope with this? The first five days home me and a buddy just went on the road hitting up bars, casinos, and fished every trout river we could find. Now that I blew a few grand(broke) I am at home with my wife and want to work things out.

[exhausted]

Well if your wanting work this out, she must be as well!!!!

First things first.. She can't blame alcohol as a excuse and neither can he.. It takes two to tango..Alchol brings out the true person in all of us..

Now, You must go to counseling.. and work your way threw this.. If you can ever trust her again you both need to make your marriage better.. it is a job that both of you must do.

But, if your doing this just for your kid, DON'T!!! Your kid is young and will learn to deal with it.. You don't want to be in a marriage that you are always second guessing what she is doing.. and your lifestyle will reflect and your kid will see that..

But, keep us posted on how things work out for you..

[waldo24]

thanks for the info, I just seen some kind of internet program that helps married folks deal with a spouse that has cheated, should I buy this as well as go to the counsler? I think I am working this out for all of us, not just for my little girl. I also found out that my work offers 6 FREE marriage counsling sessions- so this will help being my bank account is running on empty, well negative empty!!:) Thanks

[exhausted]

Don't know what program your talking about.. Link me, please..

Well if your job provides it, it wouldn't hurt to take advantage of it IMO...

If your taking the right steps than your on the road to a good recovery.. I hope she is also!!

[SuckerFree]

Just curious. What is your wifes reaction to all this? Is she sorry, sad, does she wanna work it out? 1 year anniversary and you wanna work it out, god lord. LOL, best of luck to ya dude, if guys would not get married this wouldn't happen.

[crissy]

Reading your post I noticed that you said you had a 15mth old daughter. Did you marry your wife because she got pregnant? How well did you know her? Rebuilding the trust and love will be difficult. It takes a big person to forgive someone for the level of hurt and pain she has caused. I can't imagine how you must have felt finding her that way, and how your friends wife must have felt also. I would not personally use a video or the internet to solve your problem. Use the service your work offers as a starting ground. I know your hurting, but blowing your savings isn't going to change things and make the pain any less. You have a beautiful responsiblity that is 15mths old that needs you. Good luck to you and your family.

[waldo24]

Sucker free, her reaction when I caught them was her just crying for about 10 mins, I tell jackarse to just "drive me to a beer store" , when we get there my wife jumps out of the car and runs two blocks down the street and we find her about an hour later

[waldo24]

crissy, it felt like crap to say the least. We dated on and off for about 2 years before we got hitched. As for the dudes wife she cheated on him all the time so I kinda think he took adv of my wife when she was so drunk to get pay back??!, thanks for the advice...

[waldo24]

update so far so good, we start to see the consular tues, i WILL let all of you know how things go. On the joking side I think my story would be a bomb epsoid on jerry springer or one of thoes shows!!

[waldo24]

http://www.surviveanaffair.com/?i=424&ds_t=y

[SuckerFree]

crissy, it felt like crap to say the least. We dated on and off for about 2 years before we got hitched. As for the dudes wife she cheated on him all the time so I kinda think he took adv of my wife when she was so drunk to get pay back??!, thanks for the advice...


You're still blaming alcohol. Stop doing that?

[SuckerFree]

When told about how a Tiger attacked a man who grabbed some meat, Chris Rock said "Tigers don't go crazy, Tigers do what they do". Same thing with men. You seem to be determined to find fault in him. Yes, he is an asshole, and I hope you never speak to this couple again. However, what's to say your wife didn't initiate it? The only way to get to the bottom of a situation is to get to the bare, brutal truth of the situation. Telling yourself some guy took advantage of your wife at this point may or may not be true. One thing is for certain, she knew it wasn't you taking off her panties. God, put you on this Earth for the same reason your daughter is here. To have life. If your wife can't control herself (which at this point, new Daughter at home, 1 year anniversary) she needs to find some sucker who will tolerate this. This isn't much of a life if you ask me. Unfortunately, if I was asked to bet on this situation, I would bet on her failing again. Also, I would be willing to bet that at some point your wife and this man had something going on before. Maybe not sex, maybe just flirting. Who's idea was it to go to Mrytle Beach?

[exhausted]

You seem to be determined to find fault in him. Yes, he is an asshole, and I hope you never speak to this couple again. However, what's to say your wife didn't initiate it?
Exactly!!! That's my point.. Life is a 2 lane road.. There is intersections that you must pass by and not to be tempted to turn!!!

The only way to get to the bottom of a situation is to get to the bare, brutal truth of the situation. Telling yourself some guy took advantage of your wife at this point may or may not be true. One thing is for certain, she knew it wasn't you taking off her panties.?
The GODS' honest truth!!!

God, put you on this Earth for the same reason your daughter is here. To have life. If your wife can't control herself (which at this point, new Daughter at home, 1 year anniversary) she needs to find some sucker who will tolerate this. This isn't much of a life if you ask me.
A marriage is suppost to be happiness and fun.. Not worring about where she is or what she is doing!!!

Unfortunately, if I was asked to bet on this situation, I would bet on her failing again. Also, I would be willing to bet that at some point your wife and this man had something going on before. Maybe not sex, maybe just flirting.
I'm willing to bet you right!!!

Who's idea was it to go to Mrytle Beach?
;)

[waldo24]

sucker free, I am not saying all the fault is his. It does take two to tango.

As for this happing again ,, I really dont think it will happen again. I told her that she now has to go out and get a job and start paying for some of her own bills because it is time for her to grow up.
I will be honest though, I am scared that she may meet a man at her new job but hopefully when we start seeing the counsler Tuesday they will help me deal with trusting her again.

FYI one thing that really pisses me off is she seems to kinda blame the affair on the booze, she has been drunk many many times and she knew what she was doing but she is trying to say she was in and out of blacking out?? Whatever!!!!!!

[exhausted]

Excuses, excuses.... Next she will blame the affair on you..

[markus]

As for this happing again ,, I really dont think it will happen again. I told her that she now has to go out and get a job and start paying for some of her own bills because it is time for her to grow up.
I will be honest though, I am scared that she may meet a man at her new job

Jobs are a breeding ground for habitual cheats - New friends , Xmas works party , feeling fine & panties off after a bottle of wine :eek:
She will be an ideal candidate for the workplace ;)
How long will it be before the unhappilly married knight in shining armour turns up - How will she refuse advances from **** for brains when muggins at home has offered her unconditional love ?
Whats the chances of getting caught when dopey balls thinks i would never do that to him again - PANTIES OFF ... LETS GET IT ON
Six months later she's stuck in the middle of an affair she cant get out of - not even sure if he wants to get out of it .. you catch her and its time for the return of the MRS SORRY FACE

[SuckerFree]

sucker free, I am not saying all the fault is his. It does take two to tango.

As for this happing again ,, I really dont think it will happen again. I told her that she now has to go out and get a job and start paying for some of her own bills because it is time for her to grow up.
I will be honest though, I am scared that she may meet a man at her new job but hopefully when we start seeing the counsler Tuesday they will help me deal with trusting her again.

FYI one thing that really pisses me off is she seems to kinda blame the affair on the booze, she has been drunk many many times and she knew what she was doing but she is trying to say she was in and out of blacking out?? Whatever!!!!!!


No problem, just tell her what Suckerfree said. When he was taking off her panties, did she know it wasn't you. And if not, why did she allow it to happen? I mean was she passed out? Not to be crude, but what exactly was happening when you caught them?

[waldo24]

Just to let everyone know we are working things out!!! She has totally changed her lifestyle!! She does not drink anymore, she has went out on her on and got a GOOD job (one that I may take from her once she gets done with school). She fixes me dinner everyday and makes love to me everynight!!! WOW I guess getting cheated on is not so bad after all,.... or it may just be the antidepressants the doc gave me that make me not give a ****!!! :)

[exhausted]

WOW I guess getting cheated on is not so bad after all,.... or it may just be the antidepressants the doc gave me that make me not give a ****!!! :)

Keep telling yourself that!!

If it wasn't for her you wouldn't be on the dope...;)

[markus]

They say it sometimes changes relationships for the better , lets hope it lasts ;)

[SuckerFree]

Where's Waldo? At fantasy land apparently.

[Lifeisshort02]

you're wasting your time with her.
Hey all just thought I might could get some help here. My wife and I and another married couple went on vacation last week to Myrtle Beach and on the second day we went to a bar and when I could not find my wife I went out to the car to look for her and I find the MARRIED guy I went on vacation with having an affair with my drunk wife in his car!!! Oh and it was on our one year anniversary. I would have took her to court as soon as we got home but we have a 15 month old girl and I dont want her in a broken home. Anyone have ideas on how to cope with this? The first five days home me and a buddy just went on the road hitting up bars, casinos, and fished every trout river we could find. Now that I blew a few grand(broke) I am at home with my wife and want to work things out.

[SuckerFree]

"FYI one thing that really pisses me off is she seems to kinda blame the affair on the booze, she has been drunk many many times and she knew what she was doing but she is trying to say she was in and out of blacking out?? Whatever!!!!!!"

This is an easy one. Ask her flat out. Did she or did she not give him consent to have sex with her. If the answer is no, you call the Police. That is called rape. I'm willing to bet that if you are on the phone getting ready to charge this man with rape, your wife would have changed her tune real quick.

[waldo24]

She told me she knew what she was doing!!! & I still want to work things out!!!!

[exhausted]

She told me she knew what she was doing!!! & I still want to work things out!!!!

Sounds good then.. If you can deal with it, do it.. Hope everything works out for you and her!!

[toamsingm]

......You need to be a strong man for the sake of your son or daughter, having a pussy for a dad can do really messed up things to a kid's confidence. Not trying to attack you, trying to help you make sure this does not happen again. DOnt be afraid to to get medeivel (i mispelled that) if you have to.

[Tawnee1969]

You keep mentioning about setting a good example for the kids. Well as a parent I know that my kids certainly would not know about my sex life, especially if they are young!!!

How is any kid under the age of 10 going to know that Mum or Dad was weak for taking back a cheating partner unless the parents tell the kids? Most parents I know would never tell their kids about their sex life.

However, I also feel that it is good for kids to see their parents working through difficulties and not giving up at the first sign of trouble. This does not mean that I condone anything that is harmful to anyone else. If a partner is being abused by the other...leave immediately, but if you are just having difficulties then try to work at it and if that doesn't work than at least you can say to yourself and your kids that you tried your best.

[markus]

Theres harder things in life to get over than a one night stand !
it could be a turning point in their relationship for the better
Play it clever and make her feel guilty as much as possible so you can turn her into a slave

Make her be a ***** in the bedroom , cook top meals for you and clean your work boots
And always give her an evil look when she's going out - a look as if to say:
' Im watching you *****!! ' and ' your sucking my **** as soon as you get back '

[waldo24]

I think things are better now than before "it" happend. I will be honest though, I do make her feel guily every now and then like for example today we drove by the dudes house and I said " you want to stop and say hey to your boy friend" she didnt say a word the rest of the way home, we get home she takes me to the bedroom and then orders me a pizza!!! We also talk to each other a lot more, go out together more, and spend a lot of time in the bedroom.
toamsingm, "You need to be a strong man for the sake of your son or daughter, having a pussy for a dad can do really messed up things to a kid's confidence. Not trying to attack you, trying to help you make sure this does not happen again. DOnt be afraid to to get medeivel (i mispelled that) if you have to."----- I really dont get what your saying? you think I should beat her in front of my 16 month old because she had an affair ?? I think im "strong" for not killing dude and not leaving my wife and kid!!!!

[SuckerFree]

You will never get the image of her and in that car with him outta your head. Ever. Eventually she will tire of your cracks about it and will figure out how to justify it. I know you love her, and she loves you. But damaged goods are damaged goods.

[TxTornado]

They say it sometimes changes relationships for the better , lets hope it lasts ;)
WOW I guess getting cheated on is not so bad after all,.... or it may just be the antidepressants the doc gave me that make me not give a ****!!!

Idiot.. aren't you lucky you now have something to hold over her head.

[toamsingm]

Please tell me you kicked some ass when you saw the **** with that other guy and caught them??>>>

[markus]

If i remember rightly , after he caught the guy shafting his wife they went for a drive to the nearest put and got drunk

[markus]

Quote:
Originally Posted by markus
They say it sometimes changes relationships for the better , lets hope it lasts

Quote:
WOW I guess getting cheated on is not so bad after all,.... or it may just be the antidepressants the doc gave me that make me not give a ****!!!


Idiot.. aren't you lucky you now have something to hold over her head.

No i was the idiot while she was having an affair , now its time to have some fun at her expense. ...... Starting in the bedroom
We have an aggreement that she has to give me a blow job every single morning for two months and wear various outfits each night
She has to cook healthy meals for me every day
Im even considering renting an allotment plot so she has to grow my own fresh vegetables - Why should i pay for food when she can grow it ?

the list goes on and on

[waldo24]

Well things didnt work out -- I hope she can take care of her self and only her self-- I am getting custody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***** *****!!

[Skirtchaser]

Well things didnt work out -- I hope she can take care of her self and only her self-- I am getting custody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***** *****!!


That's good. Your daughter did'nt need to be raised by a sl.ut.