The truth shall set you free... right?

[TDDUP]

I was married for 3 years. I am now divorced... My story is simple really. I met a beautiful woman that was everything to me. She and I were great togther. It always starts out that way... We lived togther for 1 year and it was great. We always talked about having kids and starting a family...well you know the rest. We took the plunge and we started our life toghter. We had a baby boy after the first year of marrige and then 14 months later a girl.. We were rolling, it was great.... Then things started to change, I started noticing things. I thought she was going through post pardon, 2 years of pregnecy will do this.. I was wrong!! She and I both had great jobs and we worked real hard. She apperntly was working hard with a guy from her work.. I knew it was going on because of the signs. Working late no O.T. on her paycheck. Our communication was not good at all and I was losing her. Or she was losing me I should say. I always told her to be honest with me and just tell me what was going on. She never did until just recently. I tried to keep my family togther. I love my kiddos more than anyhting in this world. Through the hole thing she made me think I was crazy. I honestly felt like i was. I was losing controll and I was losing her. And with that I would be losing my kids. I will fast forward now... about 3 months into it I left because I could not take the crazyness. Hardest thing I ever did I my life. Thought I would be better off dead at one point. She filed for divorce and I said if that is what is going to make her happy then that is what I will give her. Joint custody on the kids and so on...This all happened in a matter of 7 months.. last week I was with the kids she told me the truth and was crying and begging me back... I love this woman I am having a hard time with this because I am scared I will be not able to trust her again. The divorce that she wanted and is know regreting was only 2 months ago.. Any advice???

As for the guy she slept with... He won't be sleeping with a woman for a long time. (I am sure some of you will say that violence is wrong, well don't knock it till you try it. really helped me). He worked with her and he knew who I was.. Disrespected me. (I know he did not pry her legs open, but there are certin lines you don't cross with certin people.)

Thanks,

[jbb]

I am in a similar predicament. My woman cheated on me with a guy she works with also. It really is hard, especially when kids are involved. All I have to say is do what you think is right. If you love her that much, I say go for it. Of course, you two will have alot of rebuilding to do, and she will have to earn your trust back. It all takes time and work, and I hope it works out for you. Good Luck Bro.

[markus]

As for the guy she slept with... He won't be sleeping with a woman for a long time. (I am sure some of you will say that violence is wrong, well don't knock it till you try it. really helped me). He worked with her and he knew who I was.. Disrespected me. (I know he did not pry her legs open, but there are certin lines you don't cross with certin people.)

Fair play

I would really like to get revenge on the guy that had an affair wife but i dont myself because i fear i would go over the top once i got started
I wont be much use to my children in jail :eek:

[TDDUP]

Thanks... I will ride this wave with an open mind and I will try to put this all away and start new.

[exhausted]

What I did was go to his wife and try and inform her about their affair but, she acted like she didn't want to hear it so, I didn't press the issue.. but, anyways.. TDDUP if you think you can trust her again after all she has done to you and yourkids than go ahead and take her back..

It will be a tough road to recovery and forgiving!!

Sometimes violence is all we are left to do.. Me I'm not a violent person unless I'm backed into a corner..

BTW my wife cheated on me and my kid with her boss.. So, I know where your coming from and we are still together at this point..


6 months later after I made her quit her job, I'm still looking and trying to see what went wrong..And I'm still not the trusting type!!

You have to ask yourself a question.. Will you both ever be the same if you get back together? Don't do it for the kids, Do it for yourselves!!!

[MuffinMan]

I was married for 3 years. I am now divorced... My story is simple really. I met a beautiful woman that was everything to me. She and I were great togther. It always starts out that way... We lived togther for 1 year and it was great. We always talked about having kids and starting a family...well you know the rest. We took the plunge and we started our life toghter. We had a baby boy after the first year of marrige and then 14 months later a girl.. We were rolling, it was great.... Then things started to change, I started noticing things. I thought she was going through post pardon, 2 years of pregnecy will do this.. I was wrong!! She and I both had great jobs and we worked real hard. She apperntly was working hard with a guy from her work.. I knew it was going on because of the signs. Working late no O.T. on her paycheck. Our communication was not good at all and I was losing her. Or she was losing me I should say. I always told her to be honest with me and just tell me what was going on. She never did until just recently. I tried to keep my family togther. I love my kiddos more than anyhting in this world. Through the hole thing she made me think I was crazy. I honestly felt like i was. I was losing controll and I was losing her. And with that I would be losing my kids. I will fast forward now... about 3 months into it I left because I could not take the crazyness. Hardest thing I ever did I my life. Thought I would be better off dead at one point. She filed for divorce and I said if that is what is going to make her happy then that is what I will give her. Joint custody on the kids and so on...This all happened in a matter of 7 months.. last week I was with the kids she told me the truth and was crying and begging me back... I love this woman I am having a hard time with this because I am scared I will be not able to trust her again. The divorce that she wanted and is know regreting was only 2 months ago.. Any advice???

As for the guy she slept with... He won't be sleeping with a woman for a long time. (I am sure some of you will say that violence is wrong, well don't knock it till you try it. really helped me). He worked with her and he knew who I was.. Disrespected me. (I know he did not pry her legs open, but there are certin lines you don't cross with certin people.)

Thanks,

You already divorced? If so...do NOT take her back. Once a cheater always a cheater...I know you think you love her and it hurts. If I didn't have 2 kids, I'd probably divorce my wife....but since you already went through the motions....keep it that way. You will NEVER deep down trust her again.

And just out of curiosity...what did you do to that guy she slept with?
Hey, if he is her boss, tell his boss....or just tell his boss anyway.

[ChicagoTRS]

Kind of up to you whether you want her back...it is so hard when there are kids involved because if you are any kind of man you want the kids in your life as much as possible.

I would not remarry her...at least if you are divorced you can leave at any time. Personally I do not know how you can trust someone again after doing that...I know I won't. Personally I am all for getting a fresh start.

Lucky you...a good beat down...how I wish I could do that to the OM in my situation...

[tomasingm]

Divorce her (Legally) Separate finances, and do not marry her agin (Legally) or cancel te divorce. This way if she does it again kicking her to the curb will be really easy. Take her back but NOT on paper. For your protection legally and fiscally. Renew your vows (only in churcch for symbolic reasons, never on a marriage license or in front of a judge.) Take her back but not "Offcially" This way, like I said if it happens again splitting from her wont be anything much more then kicking her out.


And Kudos on Kicking Sancho's ass, this needs to happen alot more.

Also tell her she has been demoted from wife to girlfriend, That she has to earn back teh Wife title, if she continues then she will then be demoted again to "baby's momma" then after that there is only **** buddy, and booty call.

[TxTornado]

Hell fire darlin I'm all for nail'n his balls to the floor of an old shack with a rusty nail hand him a spork and set'n the shack on fire.

[Skirtchaser]

well put Tex, ahh but of course I expect this from Our Tx women.
None like them in the world. :cool:

[jnj express]

hey tddup-------------------congratulations for kicking the **** out of the other guy-he was half the reason your life is ruined-too many of these guys ruin peoples lives and walk away scot free-hopefully what you did will make him think twice before screwing another married woman--as to your wife------she was the other half---this is up to you-----------------why did she do this in the first place-----you are going to have pain and images of her performing for other guy (passionate kissing, entwined bodies even if you didn't actually see it, your imagination will kick in, for a long time if not the rest of your life-if you do go back she has to console you, love you and go thru whatever you do and feel everytime these images come up-if you yell and scream at her she has to stay there and take it, SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT, she has to take whatever you come at her with when you have problems-SHE HAS TO KNOW THIS GOING INTO ANY REHAB---she must take whatever you dish out and for as long as you dish it out---she needs to quit that job, and find work where whe won't be tempted by other men, cuz obviously she gives herself up pretty easily, and once again you won't know what is going on, actually you need to tightly keep check on her all the time, with her checking in to you all the time-she is to never go out with girlfriends alone ever again-no parties unless you are at her side at all time-absolutely no looking at other guys, for any reason--------------she is to act like she is married and be a couple with you at all times from now on------------------------------let her know all of this if she agrees and is remorseful and acts properly guilty-then i MIGHT THINK ABOUT A REHAB- and let her know you are only thinking about going bacit looks like she didn't like what she found , or living conditions with other scumbag, serves her right they never seem to get it , they always think the grass is greener-IT NEVER IS--------------------you have to decide this, but no matter what make her know she is only with you on a trial basis depending on her actions--remember you are the victim-she is to kowtow to you in every way possible from now on remember you are the victim, and she needs to cater to your every wish and whim, or no rehab, she has to do the work here to make this marriage go