Is She Cheating?

[artguy]

I just found this site and I hope to hear some of your views and input if possible. I'm not sure where to start, but I guess I will give a brief rundown of what is going on.

I have been (I thought) happily married for 8 years, I really thought this woman was my soul mate. We were friends for about 2 years before we even dated so we both knew each other very well. She was the one who started flirting with me and in fact I blew her off a few times because I told her I didn't think of her in "that way", that I thought of her as just a good friend. Well, long story short we ended up together and had 2 beautiful children and I really thought I was lucky to have found "the one". She also had a little 6 year old boy who's biological father is not in his life, and I love him like he's my own. In the beginning she stayed home while I worked a fulltime job. About 2 years ago I decided along with her that I would try to start my own business and follow my dreams of becoming a freelance artist. I am now at the ponit where I have been approached to do a book of my artwork. My income dropped drastically, but we are still able to pay our bills and get by. Well, 2 weeks ago she tells me in the middle of the night she wants a divorce! I was in shock to say the least...now I know I'm not perfect but I have to say I don't understand. She says she loves me but part of her doesn't love me anymore. I told her I don't know what she's looking for, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have never and would never lay a hand on her. I have never cheated on her, I really am a devoted husband and father. She recently just started working again and told me she likes her independance. But then she tells me she wants me to go to work again fulltime and she wants to stay home and have "her" time? She also just recently got involved in wiccan, genie lamps and rings, and fairy magic even to the point where she spent $800.00 on items and did not tell me about it. I asked her if I wanted her to quit doing those things would she? She said no! But I am expected to give up my dream of being an artist to go back to work and support someone who doesn't even respect my wishes...I'm very confused. She said if I go back to work and make some good money we might be able to work it out???The thing that makes me think there is someone else is that she seems very distant from me, she used to sit on my lap and be very hug on me and kiss on me, we were always like that...until she started her new job. Then she started acting very out of character. She would make breakfast for herself, but not me...she didn't used to do that. Sexually, before we always had passion, now when we make love she just seems to be going through the motions. She did make a comment about how good looking her boss was at work, but she said she was just joking. Another thing is her appearance, now when she leaves the house she has a ton of perfume on and make up on, hair done. She used to hardly wear make-up...Her "personal" grooming is even different. That really started to make me wonder. Now just the other day she tells me she thinks she will start going to her grandfathers house all the way across town..to visit every Friday, when before she would only go on holidays or every once in a while. Now there are a few phone numbers on our cell phone bill I don't recognize and she say's "oh that's probably my stepmoms number". I can't bring myself to call them, I'm almost afraid to find out the truth I guess. I just love my family so much, I really don't want to lose them. I don't want my kids raised in a broken home. Well....what do you think................

[maddogtracie]

Go on and call the numbers. This way you know for sure. Otherwise all your going to do is go nuts wondering. If you know then you can do something about it.

Secondly, she may not be cheating. Maybe she just feels like your not giving her enough attention. Are you giving her the time from your day that she needs? Are you giving her genuine compliments on the way she looks and the things she does? I don't mean bringing home flowers everyday but just those little things that you can do to let her know that you took time from your day to think about her....and only her.

If your not doing this, then maybe she's not cheating, but she is however looking for the type of attention she is lacking from you. So ask her if there is something bothering her, and really listen to what she says.

On the other hand if you are doing all you can to support her emotionally, then you need to pay attion to what she is doing and get prepared for how your going to handle that.

[Trying to get over it]

First of all I want to say what a great guy you must be for raising a child from another relationship with such love!! You can check the phone numbers on a reverse lookup site to see who the belong to. Also why not go by her grandfathers to see if that is where she is. My past has proven that if something inside says there is something not quite right you should LISTEN.
Good Luck!

[SuckerFree]

Go on and call the numbers. This way you know for sure. Otherwise all your going to do is go nuts wondering. If you know then you can do something about it.

Secondly, she may not be cheating. Maybe she just feels like your not giving her enough attention. Are you giving her the time from your day that she needs? Are you giving her genuine compliments on the way she looks and the things she does? I don't mean bringing home flowers everyday but just those little things that you can do to let her know that you took time from your day to think about her....and only her.

If your not doing this, then maybe she's not cheating, but she is however looking for the type of attention she is lacking from you. So ask her if there is something bothering her, and really listen to what she says.

On the other hand if you are doing all you can to support her emotionally, then you need to pay attion to what she is doing and get prepared for how your going to handle that.


Do the exact opposite of the above post. This person (gotta be a Woman) is making you seem like the bad guy. If this Woman is cheating or not is still debateable. What isn't however, is that she totally has no respect for you anymore. The money stopped flowing in and whadda ya know....you guys have problems now. Ahhh, imagine that. She said she likes her independence. Well, of course, after 8 years on your dime she got a great leg up. You really want the truth? Here it is...you are a wimp, and she's a *****. Get ready to get shafted in court. Sorry to be mean, but your wife has done everything short of taking an ad in the paper telling you she has no respect for you anymore, doesn't love you, and wants to be on her own. Wiccan, god, what a Douchebag.

[SuckerFree]

Go on and call the numbers. This way you know for sure. Otherwise all your going to do is go nuts wondering. If you know then you can do something about it.

Secondly, she may not be cheating. Maybe she just feels like your not giving her enough attention. Are you giving her the time from your day that she needs? Are you giving her genuine compliments on the way she looks and the things she does? I don't mean bringing home flowers everyday but just those little things that you can do to let her know that you took time from your day to think about her....and only her.

If your not doing this, then maybe she's not cheating, but she is however looking for the type of attention she is lacking from you. So ask her if there is something bothering her, and really listen to what she says.

On the other hand if you are doing all you can to support her emotionally, then you need to pay attion to what she is doing and get prepared for how your going to handle that.



I really have to take this one on with Maddog here. Gentlemen, this is a perfect example of why you should never take advice from a Woman regarding your personal life. This Woman chased this man, he married her, he provided for her, he even took on the emormous repsonsibility of raising someone else's brat. And you are asking if he has given her enough compliments lately! Are you crazy? She's divorcing him, she's cheating on him. She is betraying the whole family. He needs to prepare for War, not be Mr. Nice guy. My god, post like these burn me. It's selfiness pandering to selfiness. Your wife betrayed you. You must be very strong over the next several months. Don't run from anything. Fight for every single thing you worked for.

[SuckerFree]

Now this guy has to pay for a child that isn't even his. So unfair. I keep telling guys, the State is in charge of your marriage. NOT YOU! If they would only listen to Suckerfree, they wouldn't be suckers. Sigh, all my friends have been ruined by buying into the scam. As soon as this guy misses a child support payment he will be labled a deadbeat dad. Imagine being called a "deadbeat" for a child that isn't yours. Where's the Biological Father? He's being the badboy that all women think they can change. Im sorry to come at you with both barrells like this. But you are now officially a statistic.

[maddogtracie]

OUCH! Yes I am a woman, and proud to be. I too applaud the man for taking on someone else’s child to raise, I’ve done it my self but being a woman and knowing how men think...I know that's just expected of us right?

Any way, that was only one of million suggestions I could have given. The one most of these bitter men would like to have seen would have been "leave the b!!ch".

My intentions were not to make him feel like less of a man or that he has been in some way incompetent in his marriage....Simply that this was one thing he could look into as to why she has been acting odd.
I also told him if this is not the case to be full prepared for the fact that she was cheating.

[want to curl up and die]

Dude, straight up, she's cheating on you. Your story mirrors mine in many ways. The number one clincher in your story is her attitude change. My (ex)girlfriend tried to break up with me too. I guess in her mind she rationalized that she was being a good person if she broke up with me and then convinced herself that she technically broke up with me before she had sex with her boss. Not so. The hooker was doing him before she tried to break up with me. Sorry to be blunt my friend. It's over, it's toast, finito.