need advice, should i stay with my husband

[landons mommy]

Me and my husband have been together for almost 3 years and will be married for 2 years this october. We are both 20 years old. We have a 1 year old son. One night after he got off work he decided to go out with some of his friends. They were going to drive around and hang out later he decided to park the car so they could sit and talk since his friends were not old enough to go to the pool hall to play pool. The people he hung out with were a guy and two girls ( his friends are about 16 years old).
He tried to hide that he had cheated on me at first because he was afraid to lose me. When I asked him about it he came clean. Well the two girls went to the police and said my husband raped them. So now he has to go to court. He says he never wanted this to happened. He said that he was tried since it was 12am and the girls each came on to him and then the next min he was having sex with them in the car before he could realize it, he did use condoms that the girls had in their purses.He said that it would not have happened if he would have not have been out so late or if he had told his friends he didn't wat to go out.His friends had talked him into going out so he could drive them around. He said it would never happen again and that he will do anything to work on putting our marriage back together. He said he would go get tested for STD's and he wanted to go to marriage counseling to make our marriage stronger. I don't know what to do because part of me wants to leave him since he cheated on me but the other part wants to work past this and stay married since we still love each other.

if anyone has any advice they can tell me the please do.
you can e-mail me at
landons_mommy8605@msn.com or
babyandus05@aol.com or
deejaytamara8605@yahoo.com

[confused]

I will post to your emails....so that i know you get this response (in case you don't find your way back here)...but i will post here as well......for others to read....if there are any MORE 'youngins' out there going thru what you are.

Listen....

I am old enough to be your mother...

and if i WERE your mother...(i do have a child).....and you were my daughter? My heart would be breaking for my grandchild...and this newly "broken" family.

I say this because you are. YOu are now officially "broken". Regardless of whether you stay together...work on it.....patch things up etc.......you are broken. EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT BEFORE...is now gone...and you need to start rebuilding things....in a different way. And it sucks. I hate that.

BUT......

hear this first.

as your internet "mother"? I am telling you that you must FIRST think of your child.....and then? Him.

he is in a lot of trouble young lady.

A LOT.

this court thing? *ugh*. Let me tell you.

A girl says "rape"?

and she's UNDER AGE?

your husband has got himself into a pickle.

and it is NOT BECAUSE HE STAYED OUT TOO LATE.

AND ITS NOT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SAY "NO" TO HIS FRIENDS.

THAT IS AN INFANTILE COPOUT IF I EVER HEARD.

Listen...Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife...with a girl who yelled "rape"....and if you're in the states...you saw (or maybe you didn't) the toal it took on that family. They have a child together...and were once happy. She (Kobe's wife) took him back...and they are apparently working on it etc....(who knows if the money is why she stayed....)

BOTTOM LINE? it aint goin' away tomorrow. You have bigger fish to fry than worrying about marriage counseling.

This guy could be going to jail for awhile....or PRISON.

I don't know what to tell you about this.

If your husband date raped these girls.....then....well......ummm.......HE NEEDS TO PAY.
and if he just put himself in a bad situation with some dumb young girls....well.....(and HIS RESPONSE was that he had NO ****ING CONTROL...that it was ONLY BECAUSE they INSISTED on the sex for SO LONG that he COULDNT' SAY NO?)

in my opinion he's too young to have a child...and too young to be married to you.

[landons mommy]

thanks for the advice. i will still take more advice if anyone has any.

i found out that these girls did this kind of thing to five other guys and then their wives left them.

My husband's lawyer told us that he could get him from going to jail and keep it from showing up on his record. Our lawyer knows the lawyer that was apointed to the girls for this case. He is trying to get them to drop the charges.

one or both girl(s) already confessed that he didn't rape them and that they wanted to have sex with him.

[SuckerFree]

I say run. I know, I know. But come on people let's be honest with the girl. First off.....Rape....wow, what a bigtime charge. Even the accusation alone can get him from finding suitable work. What kind of sick, self-centered, spoiled C*** claims someone raped them when they didn't. But getting back to hubby. You guys are very young. This relationship already has more holes in it than a golf course. It's just not gonna work...that's really all I can say.

[Valetgirl]

Can I say Ive been there before me and my husband got married he Cheated not once but twice And I Was A Domb Ass And stilled marryed him now look I think he may be doing it again to me . so as the saying goes onxce a cheat always a cheat so honey leave will u still can it will be hard at frist but it does get easier as time go on.

[landons mommy]

thanks again for all the advice. i will think about what each of you said.

[maddogtracie]

Why did your husband not have enough control to say "NO"? Why didn't he leave the situation he was in and just go home?

You know you don't just snap your fingers and the condom is on honey. There are a few things that have to happen before his peini can be used with on of those things on. So for me that says he had pleanty of time to make a decision as to what he was going to do before....
the next min he was having sex with them in the car before he could realize it,

There had to be some form of active participation on his part. Remember he was tired not passed out (that would be no excuse either)