What should I do about these HATE feelings?

[goldpine]

Well, like I wrote before in my story about my husband and I going to therapy and he continues to cheat...
and I was doing fine after I decided to go on ...by myself and kids...
well, now all of a sudden I feel so much hate for that other women (who use to be my friend) I feel like I have to do something to get back at her. But it is not really me I like to stay on the high road, still I get these feelings :(
I cannot stop thinking why he after deciding to go to therapy and to fix our marriage and family kept continuing talking to her. Got another secret cell phone and felt the urge to stay in contact. And lied to me about it. Now he says he doesn't want to be with her and he is trying to find out why he is doing it. Well, I think it is a flaw in his character. And I know I have to move on without him but it hurts to know after telling me he wants to fix our family that he decided to rather worried about her and keep friends with her (I know probably more than that al their future plans etc.....)
Ok, I have theses BIG HATE feeling for HER. What do I do????? HELP!

[repulsive]

I am so sorry this has happened to you.. keep going to counceling it has helped me so much. My husband is doing everything he possibly can to make our marriage work and I want it to work. I'm not saying you should stay with him or go back to him. The counceling is for you. One thing that has helped me is Emotions Anonymous. I cannot go to meetings in the town I am in my husband is too well known but I found them online. I have done so many things to myself to stop the pain from cutting to calling his women. Yes you will hate but that only makes you sick. It will take time... lots of time... but take it one day at a time... one moment at a time.. there are stop techniques to help you through this. This is not your fault it is not you it is him. Hate is giving them free rent in your heart and spirit. You have your children.. they have you.. Don't give up..

[confused]

Is this somehow a flaw in YOU?

GIVE ME A BREAK.

of COURSE you hate her.

and you should!

If she knew he was married...and she was a good friend of yours? you have all RIGHTS to hate her!

Period!

Just because you have some evil feelings and hatred for her...doesn't mean you're going to murder her or something. Or set her on fire!

Allow yourself these feelings and emotions. its healthy. Even in losing someone to DEATH we feel "hate" and anger.

if you try to "supress" the feelings you can get sick.

anyhow.....i guess all i'm saying is...dont beat yourself up for having these feelings. YES YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON....and even if you're a god fearing good person.....you will get thru this phase and move forward in your life. If you somehow want to "act" on bad things that you picture in your head? Well...THEN SEEK HELP.

[Jasmine666]

I see exactly where you come from. I overcome the cheater by pumping up my self esteem. Check what they have & what he could have and that is much better. Let them roll into the hell. Don't dirty your hands in their own doings. Karma will come and he will cheat on her eventually. Only time can heal and will tell you are right.