please help before i go insane!

[dazeegurl]

married 14 years to the most incredible man--treated me like a queen. 3 years ago i found out i had MS. Then 1 year later found out i was pregnant. I was on bedrest for 27 weeks and after giving birth had an MS relapse. I checked out on life--i was in so much pain and depressed. Husband took care of everything, and in the mean time started talking to an old friend that lives 2 hours away. That was in Feb. In may i found pics of them on his computer. He said he had visited her once. He continued to call her WHILE AT HOME WITH ME! then the cell phone bill came. He talked to her for hours and hours. I grabbed the phone one night and talked to her. she said she was in love with him, he had been there so much more than he told me and that he loved her and i should just accept it. Did i throw him out? Did he leave? nope. Still said he wanted his marriage to work. Promised he wouldnt go see her. Once day calls says i am not coming home i am going to have coffee with her. I need to figure out what i want. I am not happy in our marriage and i am sorry i love you but i am not IN love with you. I was devestated. I left for a week to be with a friend. Finally, he said that i just kept pushing him to make a decision and its over. He had no where to go so he would stay here and TELL ME HE WAS LEAVING TO GO STAY WITH HER!. Finally his parents convinced him to to their place. Now he is getting his own place. He doesnt want to live with her, says hes not in love with her but that she is fun and he has no responsibilities with her. He has us in a financial disaster because he was skipping work and spending time with her. IN turn she spends lots of money on him (when she should spend it on her 3 kids) He has told his parents, our daughter and me that our marriage is not over. He wants to live on his own for a few months and decide what he wants out of life. He said he is going to see her but they have nothing 'serious' and she knows that, as he has told her that he doesnt know what he wants either. He comes over everyday and says he misses being here but that he needs to be on his own to get his **** straight and himself together before we can start rebuilding out marriage. then today i find out she is moving closer to where we live. about 40 mins away. he said he didnt encourage it or suggest it but that she wants to be closer to him. HELP ME WHAT DO I DO??????? I love this man with all my heart and would forgive him in a heartbeat. Anyone else ever been in this situation????

[sweetface212]

Wow, this is some really serious sh*t.. Forgive me for I don't know too much about MS, but isn't it an incurable disease? You need to be focusing on yourself, and taking care of yourself so that you can be as healthy as possible, if not for yourself, then for your daughter. This man may have taken care of you when you were sick, and he deserves credit for the burden which was laid on him (although it wasn't in any way your fault), however, he took vows to be with you through sickness and health, and it was his responsibility to honor those vows. This "other" woman is really sad and pathetic if she's trying to get in with not only a married man, but a man who's married to a woman in your position healthwise. Believe me, I've learned from experience that any relationship built on shaky ground (as is theirs) will never last. IF he can leave you in your situation, and you two are married, then he can leave her at some point too. Let this woman move closer, and let her take him if she wants him. Once you get out of your situation, you're gonna be so high up above them, neither one of them will be able to ever reach you or cause you pain again. And I'm SURE a day will come when your husband will want you back, because that day ALWAYS comes, but you know what? you can't focus on that. You need to focus on the most important aspects of your life.. YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN. Take care of you guys, and the rest will fall into place. I promise. Good luck..

[confused]

How are things? Are you here?

[tooots]

Oh Dazee I know how you feel. You are telling me my life story. Hubby pulled the same ****. I even helped him pack and helped him find a place. Next thing you know, he doesnt leave. That was 14 years ago. Here we go again though.

I hope your husband comes to his senses. It won't work with this other woman. He will realize this.