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one_on_one
06-29-2006, 03:58 AM
I found this web site in desperate times and it feels good to be able to chat with other people with this kinds of experiences. I will do my best to make it as short as possible.
Husband and wife for about 5 years.
PART 1
One sunday afternoon, my husband was working on his car. (Van)..I went out and then went back in the house to get him a cold drink I had my toddler with me.
He got a phone call on his cell and had to go in the house to get information for that call.
I was very curious to search his car..very curious something was telling me to search.... I tried to keep the toddler intertain and got in the car and started to search...
This is what I found...
In a very small space of this car tucked in I found about 10 individual small papers with girls names and phone numbers. I also found in that same spot 2 condoms, they looked kind of rubbed, like if they had been carry around...
And That Is Not ALL...I also found a book on "How to pick up women" where to meet them, pick up lines..and so on. I Found this big book on the door storage compartment.
But it does Not Stop there...I ALSO FOUND A BOTTLE OF "VIAGRA"! next to the book, also by the door storage compartment.

Last but not least I also found thos newspaper ads on girls to spend time with like for massage and good times.... This ones I found under the passenger seat.

I Felt Like I was just slapped on the face...
I grabbed all the papers with the girls telephone numbers and the 2 condoms and put them in my jean pockets..The rest I left in the car...
I even had enough time to count the number of Viagra pills left on the bottle container. There were 2 pills missing.
As he was coming back he started to talk to a neightbor...I started to walk towards him and I said to him... come inside the house I need to talk to you now... He looked confused and followed me in behiend the toddler...
He walked in the house and closed the door behiend him and said "What,what is it"
I pulled out the numbers and condoms and confronted him...
His face expression change and quickly reply in loud tone "THAT'S NOT MINE!"
and walked away from me very angry and upset..
I told him that he was a coward (sp?) for walking away from me...

I put the chain on the door from preventing the toddler from getting out..something that we have been doing four a couple of years for safety reasons...

He quickly returned still very angry and chain was still on the door..as I walked towards the door to remove the chain..He started to force the chain off breaking..part of the door frame..I keeped telling him to wait..but his anger he could not listen. I asked him in an angry tone why did he had to break the door frame?...
He said because I had locked him out!...
and walked towards me very angry that his eyes were wide wide open..
He wanted me to give him the numbers back...I said
NO!... well he grabbed me from the shoulders and I tried to pushed him away from me...since he was trying to get into my jean pockets...
What I will never forget is the Anger in his eyes as he looked at me right in the face.....
He keep saying that all that was not his at all... I just keep saying "Yhea Right" how Stup__ do you thing I am to belive that...
Then he got out of the house again.
I quickly hide the numbers and condoms in the bedroom, just incase he tried to search me again..
He is pretty strong and I knew he would take them away for sure if he tried again..
I was very Angry, Hurt, Frustrated and disappointed at him...every suspecion I had of him came to light..I had evidence aftet evidence and he keeped denieing...
I asked him to leave the house, He said plain "NO". He said that he had done nothing wrong and that I was being bumd...

He also said that the book a client gave it to him..and has been sitting in the car for a long time..

He also said that he sells the Viagra by the pill.
Can you belive the nerve of this man..
And the Ads he found them and put them there for no reason at all.

Thing got pretty bad...I said so many things to him that I never thought I would ever say to a human... I was very ANGRY.

Later he said that those numbers where from the previous owner of the car..and they were just there... I Knew it was a lie..The very day that he purchased this car I was with him, and I put my hand in this hidden area and was empty..
Some of the names and numbers were written by his very own and writting and from his very own note pad, that he usually carries with him.

My husband is a Handy man and works every where he is self employed...so he goes and comes back as he pleases.. And has a drinking problem too.

The excuse that he made for the 2 condoms were that he had done work for a private clinic several times and the doctor and assitants give them away to there patience ..and he gives them away to other people too. One thing for sure. We don't use condoms when we are together... And that is not often as you already had imagine.
His stories keeped changeing about the numbers,condoms and book..The only story he has stucked to is the Viagra and the I say "call girls ads"..

NOT TO MENTION YET.. I also found PROFILES online on him on adult sex sites..and He yes he denies those to..

Several days have passed by and I have been very angry.. I don't cook, clean not make him luch since that day...nor his dirty loundry.
But here and there we exchange several words..and he plays the inocent guy..and I'm the bad one..Right..
Since we have a toddler and a visiting teenager in the house..it has been very difficult to sit him down and talk...
I told him that I wanted the teenager to leave for the weekend or one day so we could talk about the situation... And what does the man do?.. HE GOES FISHING ON THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY!!!! he had mentioned to me on a friday that he would go fishing on saturday...so I can be alone and not see him, since I very angry at him..
I SAID WHAT!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING THE WHOLE WEEK FOR THE teenager to go away so that we can talk..and now your going fishing?!!... (I had plan to leave the toddler with gradma )



STORY TO CONTINUE IN PART 2. I will post it in the afternoon if all possible..this is the only time I have to post..since I have to wait for everyone to be in bed so I can post again...

one_on_one
07-01-2006, 03:28 AM
For anyone who is still with me...here is Part 2
on the next morning (saturday) I found out that my husband had sneeked out of the house around 4am. I got up this Saturday morning and found no husband in bed..that Sun of a Gun....had gone fishing after all......well,
he returned at about 6pm to the port and got home at 9pm...
For several days we I keeped and keeped trying to talk to him , but still not admitted to anything...
Until..one day...
I asked if he had ever done any online chating with girls...
He said, "NEVER"..

Little did he knew that I had copies of at least 4 profiles and several copies of emails, where girls would answer his emails...and one that he asked a girl "when and how they could meet?"....

I said really...never?...never?...
he said firmly..."NEVER".
I pulled out the copies from my purse and said Ooh..then what is this...
and started to read his profile...(this were from a sex search site)
and he stated how he wanted sex..sex... and that he had a bid D___.
that kind of profile...
He still Denied them...I had them infront of his face...and he still denied them....never looked at the copies or ever asked to see them...
He plainly denied them ....
He even accused the kids...a relative that visits...

And swears that he has never CHEATED...on me...
...
Since he is self-employed he comes home usually after 9pm.. and sometimes stays out drinking and returnes home anytime between 12am-5am...
when I call on his cell phone , he usually turns the phone off and just won't answer and sometimes would tell me I will be right there in 30 minutes and gets home in 3 hours...
And on the following days he say that, he was doing nothing wrong, just drinking to releas the working stress...and wanted to be out...

This is gotten to old and I'm so sick of it...
I have asked him to Leave the House and live the great single life..
with NO WIFE...
He said that he loves his family and does not want to leave...and that he will just try to control his drinking...
and Never follows thru.

After everthing that I have found....
Girls numbers with condoms...
A book, on how to pick up women...
A bottle of Viagra...
Ad with call girls
Online Profiles and emails on adultsex sites...

Denies doing nothing wrong...
He has said that the the telephone numbers are from girls that just give it to him..that he has never asked for them.. and he just puts them there for no reason..and says that he should of trash them....

The condoms have been given to him on a clinic and there were just put there for no reason..and gives away to client friends...

The book was given to him by a client friend...and wanted to read it to
Get to Me..so he could learn how to talk to me...

I KNOW HOW STUPID THIS SOUNDS.. I'M ALMOST DONE.

The girls Ads..just picked them up from a news stand and put them under the car seat for no reason.

The Viagra..he sells to clients by the pill..to make a little extra money..

And all the Online profiles and emails...NOT HIS...

I have not fallen for none of his stories...and still insist that he leaves the house...

He wants me put everything behind and start again ...
To stop talking about it..and move on with life..
and that he is sorry, for hurting me...but has not cheated on me........
He does not want to be away from our child or me...
He claims that he loves us to much..
I belive that he loves our child...but has lost me...
He even wants us to go to counceling...

I can't go to counceling with a person that has taken zero responsability...I belive that he will not change...

I will not do none of that...I can't live with a man that cannot take no responsability...
What can I expect in he future with this man?..

I do feel bad for our child...
I know that my child will miss his dad...but I just can't continue with this relationship.
I have a special need child..and is very attached to daddy..

Ofcourse he is in his best behavior now...but in a couple of weeks he will continue to slip...

Am I wrong for wanting him out?
Should I stick around for my childs sake?
Should we go to counceling?

Do any of you belive him?...or is it just me?

Why can't I get him to admit? What am I doing wrong? Why won't he take responsability?

exhausted
07-03-2006, 05:49 AM
Ofcourse he is in his best behavior now...but in a couple of weeks he will continue to slip...

Am I wrong for wanting him out?
Should I stick around for my childs sake?
Should we go to counceling?

Do any of you belive him?...or is it just me?

Why can't I get him to admit? What am I doing wrong? Why won't he take responsability?

Yes.. IF you decide to stay with him he will win the battle and see that you will stick with him no matter what!!! Run girl,run!!!

You are not wrong at all, He is!
Your child will be hurt at first but, will eventually see what is going on and understand..
You should only go to counseling if you are going to work this out.. it sounds like to me that he has been doing this for sometime now.. And even if he does try and change like I said He will go back to his old ways..

sweetface212
07-03-2006, 09:52 AM
How can you expect him to change if he's not even admitting his wrongdoing? How can he even say the word "counseling" if he's not ready to accept responsibility for his actions? The first thing he needs to do is admit to himself and to you that he's done wrong, and then the counseling process can begin. And that's only if you have any emotion left for this guy. Believe me, I've been where you are, and it sucks, but look at the situation logically with your brain and not your heart. At this point, you can't afford for your heart to make any decisions for you. Good luck girl..