Lunchtime guest

[lititzman2003]

Hi:
Within the last two weeks my wife has come home with a strange guy three times around lunchtime. She opens the garage door way in advance and quickly closes it. 20-30 minutes they leave. My neighbor told me this in a gentle way so not to hurt me. The last time, while they were leaving, he made it a point for her to see him and she waved. I don't believe this is such a big deal, but my friend smells a rat. Am I in denial? I don't wish to confront her with this. Thanks.

[exhausted]

WOW!! She is bringing another man to your house !!! Maybe you neighbor and everybody else can see it but, you.. I smell a rat and it sounds like a lot more than lunch going on.. If you come home for lunch to eat lunch, you don't close the garage door..(BIG SIGN FOR ME, Red flag) Brotha, it sounds like your in denial..

I would Never, NEVER allow another man in my house when I'm not theere... It's a respect thing in my book..I would never go in another mans house when He is not there..Rather a friend or not, I don't play like that..

It might be nothing but, but, it might be alot!! I would question her.. My wife knows now how I feel about things she does or has done. That's just completely wrong to bring another man to your house when her husband is not there!!!

[BeenThereToo]

sounds like something's going on especially if she hasnt mentioned it.

[Michas]

All the signs are there. The garage door open in advance then quickly closed. She's trying to get in without being seen. The waving to the neighbor? Did she have a choice? To not wave would seem to out of place. I strongly suggest you come home for lunch unannounced for a while and see if you can surprise them.

If this were my wife there would be no doubt in my mind what she was doing.

[lititzman2003]

Hi:
Thanks for your input. I did confront my wife, she admitted through tears she had a "fling" with this guy, and it was over. Somehow I am finding a way to forgive her. But now my neighbor who tipped my off about this is is angry with me because I refuse to tell him what was going on. He liked my wife prior to this situation and now feels she's a lowlife and he can't bring himself to speak to her. He just wants a brief explaination so he can resume a friendly relationship with her. I know he won't tell the rest of the world about it; he's been quiet so far. He could have ruined our reputation. I don't feel a need to disclose what was going on. He feels kind of used by me. What would you do? I like the guy as well. Thanks.

[exhausted]

Well if He is your neighbor/Firend than maybe He can help you out with this, and be your eyes and ears.. I would find trust in him for this simple fact that He told you that something wasn't right and He is your neighbor, and his assumption was right..

[trustisgone]

I'm like exhausted.. I would let him know for the eyes & Ears thing.. but, now she has wind of it she might be using other alternatives(meeting places)... Not, too make you feel that your doing something wrong by trying to work it out (cause I am) but, its really hard to trust someone after they have made the decision too cheat..

Good luck and keep us informed on any changes..

[lititzman2003]

Everyone here has given me good advice; I appreciate it. Still can't bring myself to confine in my neighbor, even though I should come clean with him. We live in a development with a bunch of gossipers and backstabbers, and he and his wife are the exception. Unfortunately, I still think my wife is running around with this clown. Does anyone think she'll be brazen enough to come home again during lunch? This neighbor even offered to do the "dirty work" of catching them in the act in my house. He doesn't want me to do something stupid. He feels he's impartial and can handle his emotions. Any thoughts? Thanks.

[exhausted]

Well Thats a different story.. I do know onething that if your gut is telling you something and your head is telling you something else.. I tend to go with the gut feeling..

If you feel that they will blab it up and down your neighorhood, then don't tell him anything.. If he wants to be the *PI* than let him do what He wants too..less work you have to do..

I confronted my wife about all of her activites and she said she will stop, but, some things tends to tell me she is just covering it up better... MAke sure you *get your ducks in a row*

Good luck and keep us informed

[Adam Bomb 1701]

Yes, go with your gut feeling. It took me five months to find out that my wife was cheating. (A relatively short time. Some affairs go on for years without being found out. Sometimes, guys who are totally clueless about their wife's affair wind up supporting kids they didn't father.) She was using the excuse of going to see a girlfriend. Who probably drove her to see her boyfriend. Cheating or not, I was glad to be rid of her. She never stooped so low as to bring him to the house, though. They preferred hotels, like the local Embassy Suites.
Nosy neighbors or not, don't forgive her. Not now, not ever. Get rid of her, before she becomes pregnant, and you're the guy stuck supporting a kid you didn't father. And don't think that can't happen. Remember two words - presumptive paternity.

[Michas]

Hey,

As far as your neighbor goes....is it really any of his business? You say he's not a gossip yet he wants the dirty details? Isn't it enough that you're trying to cope with your spouse taking another man inside her body? I'd say like the guy just fine but he doesn't need to pry any farther into your business. If he was a real friend he'd let you be to make piece with your situation.

As for your wife....she's done it man. And that's that. She's probably still doing it...just somewhere else. And if she's not....well....she will again down the line. An opportunity will present itself and she'll feel like she can get away with it....she'll feel like you'll never know (and maybe you won't) and she'll repeat her offense.

Once a cheater...always a cheater. Good luck man

[lititzman2003]

Gotta share this with everyone. Before she confessed, she tried to explain the first time she came home with him (who I now know is her boss) because she had a "feminine body function" problem and needed to change her clothes. Yeah, right; what woman would bring a man into her house in a situation like that? That made things even worse for her for making up a stupid story like that. I'm looking for a lawyer; the trust is gone. I'd love to hear your comments on this!

[exhausted]

Gotta share this with everyone. Before she confessed, she tried to explain the first time she came home with him (who I now know is her boss) because she had a "feminine body function" problem and needed to change her clothes. Yeah, right; what woman would bring a man into her house in a situation like that? That made things even worse for her for making up a stupid story like that. I'm looking for a lawyer; the trust is gone. I'd love to hear your comments on this!

That's the best excuse she could come up with huh? But, my ordeal is she let him come in the house when she changed cause of her accident.. WRONG!!!

She is back stepping now and searching for excuses..