online cheating

[mmcdonald1969]

Hi everyone. I would like some advice please. My live-in boyfriend and I have been together 6 and 1/2 years, and I found out the other day he has been chatting with girls online for over a year. He lied about it, until I showed him I knew. He has lied a few times and I also know he used to do this to his ex-girlfriend. He asked the girls things like will they be in town , and what are they doing.... I am so hurt. I feel like this won't stop. My ex-husband had a problem with calling phone sex, and it never stopped long. The worst thing is we are buying a house together. Does anyone know of anything free or cheap you can download on your computer to see / spy on what someone is doing online while you aren't home? Would you leave him? Thanks so much!! Michelle

[questionning]

I'm living with my boyfriend right now and think he's been cheating on me over the internet. I'm currently pregnant by 6 weeks and it makes me nervous. One thing I did was go see the cookies on our computer settings. (in my computer; documents and settings; then cookies)This shows me the web sites that were seen on my computer with date and time viewed. While erasing them one day I noticed some **** sites. But when I started looking closer I notices some websites like adultfriendfinder. I actually registered to the web site and found him on it. His title says; discretion is a must, lets mix up. I won't tell you everything I found but let's say I'm to to happy about it. This is the way I found out. Hope it helps. You might be able to help me. This is the way I found out(just this morning), but how do I tell him this.. that I've been spying on what he is doing.

[exhausted]

Also you can do a search on google for Keylogger or ghost keylogger.. just incase He learns how to clear out his cookies and cache.. it also helps you get his passwords and every site he visits... hope this helps you out..

[exhausted]

Morning welcome...

If he has been doing this for sometime then it will be hard for him too quit.. If you are young than I would say maybe try going to counseling but, if it was me I would move on, especially if I was young.. The kids if they are young and can adjust quickly and better.. It prolly started out as fun and it turned into commiting adultry.. He has no respect for you, than you should no respect for him.. If you stay in this relationship and don't say anything than He will keep on doing this..

First and foremost you must protect your kids.. And the kids will see something is wrong with your relationship wether you think they will or not and it will reflect them as well..

Good luck and hope everything goes well...

Keep us posted.

[confused]

I see you already got a couple suggestions regarding programs/spyware to use. You can also just do a search. Type into your search engine box "spyware"...and up will come all the links you could possibly download or buy.

Anyhow...other than that i don't know who wears the "pants" in your family...or if its equal....or he is the "boss".....but what i did?
I password protected the computer.

with the screensaver AND when you turn on the computer.

this was the condition that had to be met....for me to even CONSIDER trusting again.

and yes......you are right...if you say "that is not trust".
I do NOT trust at this moment....and i dont WANT to have to do spyware crap.

If he loves you and loves his family (or family to be) he will agree to ANYTHING to keep you.

and keeping him OFF OF THE COMPUTER right now...is in his best interest.

You'd be AMAZED at how much more "connected" you will find yourselves..when that heep of technology is taken out of your lives.
You reconnect with neighbors...with each other....with the television *together*.....with the outdoors.....

i dont know. Since doing it? I have loved life for the past 3 weeks.

YES HE STILL USES THE COMPUTER...however....he comes to me and says "can you do the computer for me?".......and i do. I type in the password...and then he goes online and does his thing. But he's on FAR LESS.....and doesn't go to myspace as much.

Good luck to you...keep us posted!

[mmcdonald1969]

Hi, hon, my heart goes out to you. I just wanted to say I was married around 13 years, and my husband had a similiar problem, calling phone sex and talking dirty to women. My phone bill kept getting so high, I can't even tell you all the times my phone was cut off. I didn't have a computer then, or I know he would have been chatting online as well. I tried to change him. I would do anything for him in every way including sexually.... but it didn't matter. I think it is an addiction. I finally gave up, and am so glad I did. I just wish I had done it alot earlier. I even stayed with him a few years after he told me he had indeed ran around. You are young, and are deserving of someone who will treat you better. I wish you good luck. Michelle:) :)

[exhausted]

even though i have given him another go, i can't bring myself to have sex with him. will i ever have a normal sex life with him again? I'm still sooooo atracted to him but i can't stop thinking of him sleezing over other girls. Any advice anyone?:confused: i'm so glad i found this site, its great having people who can relate to my problems help so thanks :D :)

It will be tough.. But, if you feel that he is honest and true than it will alright eventually.. but, "Rome wasn't built in a day" so, too speak..
It will be something that you both will have to work on esecially, you mentally..


Keep us posted.

[exhausted]

Star, I would ask him what he wants, you or them? Make it clear that you will take his kids with you if he makes the wrong choice... Sounds like he needs a reality check!!

Just me though!