Is talking dirty with another woman on the net cheating?

[stacey]

Please offer any advice if you can.
I've put myself into a tricky situation that I'm not sure how to handle.
My partner and I have been together for 2 years, engaged for the last 9 months. For the last 6 months we've been trying to have a baby with fertility help as I'm 42. Obviously this puts strain on any relationship and my partner has recently been finding it more and more difficult to have sex on the prescribed days. As a result, our normally healthy and happy sex life has become rather strained and lacking.
A week ago, I found out that he has recently been active on a website dedicated to finding other sexual partners.
I signed onto this website with a pseudonym and have engaged him in a rather explicit ongoing dialogue. Of course, he doesn't know its me and I'm not sure how to continue with this lie and what to do about an eventual meeting, should it happen.
Should I keep quiet, confront him or trap him??
Please help! Any advice would be much appreciated

[butterfly7]

Well if he really is cheating, do you really want to continue in the relationship? It will be nothing but heartache until you face the truth of the situation and the only way to do that is to catch him and make him face the truth as well. It may end the relationship, but it could also very well strenghthen it depending on how each of you handle the confrontation. Facing the truth will be difficult but it is better than living a lie. You have to decide what you want to live with. Good luck and I hope it strenghthens rather than ruins your relationship.

[8yrloss]

Catch him, confront him-the whole situation is unpleasant,but letting it go any longer will make it that much harder

[MarkR0801]

YOu can now be the dirty **** online that he wants. See what his real appetites are. He might enjoy sharing you with other men so find that out too. If he does, the go enjoy some other men and tell him some night in bed.

[TxTornado]

Mark were you drop'd on your head at birth?

[crissy]

I would continue to talk to him and find out more about his desires. Then when you are comfortable (might be the wrong word). When you are ready set up the meeting in a public place, well lit, and hide out. Don't sit in the open where he can see you from the entrance or through a window. Be late, fashionably late (but really there way ahead of time). You'll get your answer on where his mindset is in your relationship. This could open up communication or shut it down completely. Either way you will know rather or not he would actually go through with meeting someone face to face from the net. I know what it feels like to want a baby so bad, but you have an opportunity to find out what your relationship is really built on before the child and the actual marriage. I am assuming that you are already sharing your life with this man as if you were married. So the answers you seek may not be the ones you wanted. Start preparing yourself for that.

OR could end up like that song -- do you like pina coladas -- can't think of the real name of the song --- know it's from the 70's --- good luck

[Skirtchaser]

YOu can now be the dirty **** online that he wants. See what his real appetites are. He might enjoy sharing you with other men so find that out too. If he does, the go enjoy some other men and tell him some night in bed.

Every one of your post are about watching. Wow your obsessed with it. Are you on here looking hoping to find someone to cork your ole lady? Mother Nature must have really short changed you fella. Your sick, what do you do in your past time, hang out near school playgrounds?:cool:

[MuffinMan]

Yes, talking dirty to someone else on the net is cheating as far as I'm concerned. Because you know if they have the chance to meet, they will cheat.

And yes...trap him....then dump him if he agrees to meet and you 2 do meet. Dump him before you have a kid with him.

[Fedora]

Stacey

This is a really tough one. In effect he is cheating on you with you. I have been in the same position as you regards the routine love making that fertility treatment requires and it really is no fun for either partner.

You are in an extremely difficult position here one that the pro-dumping lobby perhaps has difficulty appreciating. You know the clock is ticking but which is it to be potentially no kids ever or kids with a partner that might cheat on you outside the virtual world.

What you could try doing is setting up a date with him online and (assuming you have the ability to do this) arrange to meet him for a romantic dinner in a hotel. Book the room and a table. If he shows up (and this is the hard part because you know he is expecting someone else) then play along with it. He may either be mad as hell or he will realise just how stupid he has been and how much you care for him. If he is mad then you already have a hotel room booked for the night and if he sees the other side of it then you both have a room booked (oh and tell him this is the only time you will allow him to do this sort of thing).

If you go ahead with this I really hope it works out. And regardless of the outcome I really hope the fertility treatment works out too.

[mama*of*three]

I know the strain infertility can have on a relationship....been there and done that for 6 years. But do you really want to start a family with someone that would meet a stranger for sex/relationship? It may not be the most honest thing to do, but I say see what kind of a man he is while you have the chance. :o Good luck!

[Skirtchaser]

weigh in the odds of him giving you a std in the future, I think you should give him enough rope to hang him. But I can tell you with this elaborate scheme his answer will be, "I knew it was you all the time.":p

[confused7283]

my boyfriend internet cheating on me.

i stayed with him.

but it hurts every day.

[hurditallb4]

Yes, talking dirty to someone else on the net is cheating as far as I'm concerned. Because you know if they have the chance to meet, they will cheat.

And yes...trap him....then dump him if he agrees to meet and you 2 do meet. Dump him before you have a kid with him.

i agree with muffin on this one. before you have a kid with him please go. having a child will not make things better if that what you're thinking. it will only make it worse...for the child. :(

[blackwolf]

I have to agree internet cheating is just one step away from the real thing and if they are in love with their spouse why would they need to do that online anyway? If it is something of a sexual nature and it is not with their spouse it is cheating that is how I see it anyway.

[Julie]

NEVER NEVER NEVER plan a child with a cheating boyfriend. He will ruin both of your lives with his lies and when he walks out on the two of you once or several times it will hurt not only you but your little one too

[Julie]

NEVER NEVER NEVER plan a child with a cheating boyfriend. He will ruin both of your lives with his lies and when he walks out on the two of you once or several times it will hurt not only you but your little one too

[tigerlilly1]

Hi im new here but thought i would say how i feel on this subject.
My thoughts on Cheating are If they would not do it with you sitting there then its cheating.If they feel they need to hide it its cheating.

I'm engaged to a man that has on two occasions now done the net cheating thing with dirting talking.He then went on to phoning this girl and swapping pic's.
We have two kids together its not worth it. Really, its not.

[littlered]

Yes, it's cheating. And if he'll cheat with one head, he'll cheat with the other unless stopped cold. DO NOT have his baby until you clear this up.