I found out by pictures

[Naive]

Hello, My name is Cheryl. I found out about my cheating husband when he forgot and left pictures of his online g/f and he on the PC. I was and still am devastated. Can't get him to tell me the truth about her as he keeps on lying. He tries to tell me it only happened one time, but then I got his cell phone records and he called 140 times in less than 6 weeks. I feel like such a fool. Any advice??

[brensgrrl]

Get the proof. Install some monitoring software on your computer. An excellent one, that snapshots the screen periodically is called "I am Big Brother." It is primarily a "net nanny" that is designed for parents to monitor their kids, but it
works really well for checking on possibly philandering spouses.

Then, after you catch him again (and you will) confront him with the proof and hit him up bigtime ($$$$)!

[Roberto_D]

most professionals in this matter would tell you that it's perfectly normal for a guy to have an online partner who he flirts with and exchanges photos but dooesn't actually ever meet!

sounds crazy!

a pro would also say it's normal for a man to look at ****ographic material. sounds crazy too. this is because the man likes to feel more manly and by flirting and watching adult films he feels this way.

as long as your man doesn't make any actual physical contact or if he's more happy going on the net than being with you, I wouldn't get too worried.

[Karm]

Hi, I am new here, but I just wanted to share my story...
My husband and I have been together for 7 years next month. When we met he was living it up and sleeping with TONS of girls, like a new one every night (he worked at a bar). Anyway, we fell in love and I thought I had changed him... nine months into our relationship I caught him in bed (yes, I actually walked in on this) with a stripper. I was 19 and I was in love and to make a long story short, I forgave him after lots of crying (him) and talking and "IM SORRY". A few months later, I found out from his roomate that he had cheated more than once (3 different girls) and lied to me about it. After a huge comfrontation and several months I forgave him. We got married 3 years ago, and all of my friends/family love him. I love him. He has turned into a wonderful husband and provider. Over the years I have caught him lying about **** on his computer and **** charges on our credit card. I know that he has a very healthly sex drive, but the problem is that he only wants to have sex with me like 3 times a year. He always makes excuses (to tired, sore from work) and I always tried to let him know that I am willing to do what ever when ever he wants and I even said I would watch **** with him. (here is where I am going with this...) Yesterday I was looking for a picture on the computer and I stumbled on a file with all these web cam images of women. Several nude shots, but mostly just actual photos of women in different poses. This freaked me out because I was like, "does he know these women?" So I went thru his cell phone. Turns out he has been Texting an old HS girl friend (he told me that she had contacted his mother, and that his mother gave him her number and that they talked ONCE and that was IT!). So the wheels in my mind start turning. If he lied about this...what else??? So I go thru the outgoing calls and find a number I dont recognize. I call it. A woman answers, I get her name. "RENE". So today, I comfront him. First the pictures... he says "just ****" , I say then why do you have just random pictures of women? Do you know them? He says no. I bring up RENE, and he finally admits that hes been going to this chat room and exchanging pics with girls. And Rene is the first one he called (she lives in our area by the way) and that it was only that one time. We cried for about 2 hours, and I asked him a bunch of questions and I feel like he was very honest. I told him I dont know if I can trust him now. We are going to therapy soon. I just dont know what to do. I keep thinking... once a cheater always a cheater. But I dont want to throw away 7 yrs over some stupid chatting and pics. But I also dont want to find out 10 yrs from now Ive been a fool. To me this is how things get started. So, long story short... I dont have any advice, but I know how you feel.:(