TheFool?
05-01-2009, 11:10 AM
Ok, here goes:
So, about 5 years ago I bust my wife having an very inappropriate relationship online with an X. When confronted, at first she flat out lied and denied the whole bit. When I produced the proof, she broke down and admitted to only what I could prove. She claimed that yes they had met up, but only "for coffee". I still don't 100% believe her, but that's in the past...supposedly. Anyway, that drove me nearly out of the marriage over the next few years, and I almost divorced her. In desperation, she convinced me to try counseling. It worked. I came to realize that I had left her all alone in our relationship and that she was simply reaching out for some connection. We repaired our marriage, and I was on cloud 9 as a loving husband and father.
Recently, I caught her talking to another X boyfriend online. At first, it started as a Facebook friend. Then he talked her into yahoo chatting. She stays home with our 4 yr old, so she started spending a good portion of time chatting with this guy. 99% of what was discussed was innocent (how was your day, what do you do now, do you remember so and so...) but some of what she said really disturbed me. On multiple occasions, she brought up old sexual memories (hey, remember when my dad walked in and caught us doing it, or you were my first "o"). He had mentioned several times that he was in love with his wife, and seemed to keep the conversation on the up and up, but I got the feeling she was pressing it. Also, though she had been honest about another X as her friend on Facebook, and a male friend that she works with (totally upfront) she hid this guy. That made my guts turn. To make things worse, the guy lives about 20 miles from us.
I monitored the activity for 2 weeks, until I finally couldn't take it anymore.
I confronted her last night, and just let her know that I had her dead to rights. She admitted that it looked bad, but claimed that nothing shady was going on. She claimed that she didn't care about him that it would not bother her at all to cut all ties.
I don't know if I believe her. Or even if I should. I mean, is it possible that I simply caught this before it went south, or is she just a cheater that needs to be kicked to the curb. Together we're rasing her daughter (15) and our daughter (4). I feel trapped/compelled to make it work, but I don't want to set myself up for further hurt. She swears to the point of tears that she loves me and is satisfied in our marriage, but I don't know. How do I trust her???
So, about 5 years ago I bust my wife having an very inappropriate relationship online with an X. When confronted, at first she flat out lied and denied the whole bit. When I produced the proof, she broke down and admitted to only what I could prove. She claimed that yes they had met up, but only "for coffee". I still don't 100% believe her, but that's in the past...supposedly. Anyway, that drove me nearly out of the marriage over the next few years, and I almost divorced her. In desperation, she convinced me to try counseling. It worked. I came to realize that I had left her all alone in our relationship and that she was simply reaching out for some connection. We repaired our marriage, and I was on cloud 9 as a loving husband and father.
Recently, I caught her talking to another X boyfriend online. At first, it started as a Facebook friend. Then he talked her into yahoo chatting. She stays home with our 4 yr old, so she started spending a good portion of time chatting with this guy. 99% of what was discussed was innocent (how was your day, what do you do now, do you remember so and so...) but some of what she said really disturbed me. On multiple occasions, she brought up old sexual memories (hey, remember when my dad walked in and caught us doing it, or you were my first "o"). He had mentioned several times that he was in love with his wife, and seemed to keep the conversation on the up and up, but I got the feeling she was pressing it. Also, though she had been honest about another X as her friend on Facebook, and a male friend that she works with (totally upfront) she hid this guy. That made my guts turn. To make things worse, the guy lives about 20 miles from us.
I monitored the activity for 2 weeks, until I finally couldn't take it anymore.
I confronted her last night, and just let her know that I had her dead to rights. She admitted that it looked bad, but claimed that nothing shady was going on. She claimed that she didn't care about him that it would not bother her at all to cut all ties.
I don't know if I believe her. Or even if I should. I mean, is it possible that I simply caught this before it went south, or is she just a cheater that needs to be kicked to the curb. Together we're rasing her daughter (15) and our daughter (4). I feel trapped/compelled to make it work, but I don't want to set myself up for further hurt. She swears to the point of tears that she loves me and is satisfied in our marriage, but I don't know. How do I trust her???