The Next step

[Armyman]

I started with the lawyer today to get my cheating wife out of my house before I get back from Iraq. The speed this is all happing is unbelieveable. 10 days ago I found out she was cheating, three days after that she said she was moving out. To protect what little I have left I am starting with the lawyer. I am now looking at less then 30 days and the paperwork will be in the mail. I know she has had time to plan this all out because the had been cheating fore two months. But for me 10 days ago I had a loving wife that I loved more and more every day. I think this hole thing is going to give me wip-lash and I wonder when it will all hit me?

[bchgrl2008]

I am really glad that you are getting her out of the house before you get home. Is there anyone you know that can go by your house and make sure she doesn't take everything you own? I think this will all hit you when you get back. You get a fresh start, and that is something to look forward to. I hope this all works out for you and I hope she just bows out without drama.

[SocalSadness]

I am so sorry to hear this story. All too familiar to servicemen of all generations as I understand. I never understood how an American civilian male stateside would participate in such a horrible offence given that the real man of the house is serving his country and is TRAINED TO KILL. I hope you will seek out you Army Clinical Psychologist to begin processing these difficult emotions. Best wishes and try to stay in the moment. -Socalsadness

[Skirtchaser]

jus the legals, if she would cheat on you when your in service of your country, she will do it again. Let me commend you for your service to your country. Never look on this cheating who.re again. You are better off without her.

[silas]

First of all, thank you for your bravery and service.

My world crumbled in the wee hours of the morning on October 27, 2007. (see the thread under Cheating wife stories titled "October Surprise".)

My wife and I are still together trying to make things work. One thing is for certain. There are NO quick fixes or magic formulas. I second guess myself about this path I have chosen. After reading other peoples' accounts on this forum, it seems that my wife and I are mirroring many similar emotional valleys and mountains on our reconciliatory journey. What scares me is that in a majority of these narratives, the wife does it again.

I believe you are doing the right thing by getting out of this . Stay strong and, if you feel that you need some support, the chatcheater family will always be here for you.

later
Si

[The_Road_2_Recovery]

Congrats to you for getting the ball rolling. I know it's a hard thing to do. I agree with the above post about making sure someone is there when she is forced to leave. Without you being in country- she very well can take all that you own. I'd talk to my CO and see what can be done back in the states to avoid that. The quicker the better.
When will it hit you? Nobody knows that but you, My Friend. Just know that you are not alone- and you CAN do this. Time will heal your heart.
In the meantime, stay strong and keep your head up. You can't help or blame yourself for what she became.
Blessings!! And, stay safe over there!! =)

[StillinShock]

Just a note...I hope you have someone to talk to about all this as well as this forum--therapist there, close buddy at least.

This is soo fast for you, I agree. Keep a journal---surprisingly it helps.

Our thoughts are with you and we're here...
SIS

[Armyman]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I will have my mom at the house when she moves out. I have sent a list of everything I get so she can keep an eye on it. My soon to be ex said she wants to meet when I get home. I told her I dident think that was a good idea. I would either cry myself stupid or kill her. Either way I think I should just stay away from her for a wile.:)

[The_Road_2_Recovery]

Staying away from her when you arrive home is a good idea. At least give yourself a chance to settle in and see where your head is at. Get ready. Because once she sees what she's losing (you-money-etc) she very well might come begging back saying how she made a mistake and wants to try again. I've seen it happen TOO many times to count. It sickens me how some of these Military wives just have no clue as to the big picture here. Their Spouse is risking their life in a foreign country and all they can think about back home is how quick they can get laid. My heart goes out to you, it truly does. My Husband works in Iraq and I barely like to go anywhere in fear of missing that phone call. I think when you are faced with a situation like ours.. you either show the up most respect and support.. Or, you do as your Wife did and risk everything for nothing. Keep your head up- above all, and know you aren't alone in all this. Every single person here has gone through what you're going through. Some of us made it for the better- others are still living the nightmare. I know it's all going fast for you. But, the important thing is you're getting it done. Point your eyes forward and never backward.. =)