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View Full Version : How stupid was I????


jnewportdel
02-18-2009, 08:06 AM
Though I was happily married when my second child was born. Just bought new home, was estatic that I qualified for the mortgage! I progressing at work, went from 45k per year to 75k in the three years we were married. Doing everything right, right?
Well here I go!
Leaving for a Phillies game with my son and her father one Sunday am back in 04 and her cell phone starts ringing and it was from an older wealthy guy that she had befriended through her cousin. I inquired why he would be calling on a Sunday am and why she had his name programmed, no big deal was reply. Needless to say I spent an anxious day at the ball park. went through period of him asking her to go on trips until I enlisted the help of her parents to put a stop to it. Went to counseling all all good, I FIXED IT!!!
Move a year to the next summer. I was recruited by another company and am was making 145k per year at the time and we are thinking about buying a BIG house. Well, sitting on the beach with her mother and the cell starts and she is not answering, of course I press why. She then hands the phone to kme and it is thw wealthy guy again. I tell him to leave us alone and she says she does not want to be bothered as well. Anxiety laced vacation to say the least.
We buy the big house and I am working at new job. She takes job with home builder. An affair starts with an assistant project manager, late meetings and phone calls because the "project" demanded the same. Now I knew it was nonsence because I am in the business and could have handled six projects that size "standing on my head" within business hours. Eventually I locate enough evidence that she admits the affair. I could go on about particulars and how clever I was in uncovering the same but as I think back it was that she really did not care if I found out. She moves out fully and leaves me with three kids! I plead for her to come home and she does in 2 weeks and off to an intense weekend shop stories and cry weekend counseling session. (In hindsight I should have had the strength to leave her alone then, I would have been much better off).
We put it back together and I ger a globe with a note saying she is giving me her world, give me her world she did and another dose I got!!
This past summer on two family vacations she is out to all hours of the night with the nanny and I uncover affair #3. I am told at 7:30 the friday night before check out that we are through and it is too late. She was having an affair with a married guy out of DC. Somebody more her age. I am 49 and she 38.
Well, we get divorced. (and I got to be quick here because my anxiety level is rising rather than falling! I thought sharing an overview would help).
She gets paid as i refied the house, and get paid well she did.
She gets her boobs done, is now in affiar with her married bosss 54 years old and is leaving for Vegas with him in two weeks, acting happy as can be as if I was so terrible. Her new boss works within the same confines i do so it is very embarrassing.
Well, that is all you get for 25 cents!

holikdad
02-18-2009, 08:44 AM
It's amazing what we do for the women we love. Your ex sounds like a real piece of work. If she left you with the kids you should go after child support if you haven't already. Take care of your family, that's the most important thing. Put her out of your life and move on, that's the best revenge, and it'll make you the happiest. Ignore her, keep all contact to a minimum and even then only see her when absolutely necessary like when she sees the kids.

It's difficult, we've all been there, just hold on it will get better.

jnewportdel
02-18-2009, 09:18 AM
And what I posted was only the half of details, things said, late nights at home with the kids, silly stories, ect. She just texted me that there was a sale at Office Depot. I was like??????????????? with all my added expenses you want to text me that I can save a few bucks on pens and pencils?? Adios reality is what has taken place

bchgrl2008
02-18-2009, 05:13 PM
Do you still have the kids, or does she have them? If you have them, then good for you. You have taken on a huge responsibility and are more of a man for it. If she has them, I certainly hope her lifestyle isn't getting in the way of her responsibilities as a parent. She sounds like trash. Men get such a bad rap sometimes, and truthfully, I have found that women can be far worse at times. I am so sorry that you tried so hard to get through this awful marriage, but trust me, she will get what's coming to her in the end. Keep doing the best you can!

doesmybuttlookfatinthis
02-18-2009, 07:11 PM
She is a narcissist and a sociopath. You actually are lucky. It just took you a few years to realize it. You have your childrens love, that she wil NEVER have. You are a successful man. And you will be a total chick magnet. Let me explain. Rich by many standards (but thats only a small part of the package). Loves kids and more importantly they love him. Has a fantastic cheating wife story. The women will be pounding the door down trying to get he pick of the litter. Oh just one thing. Is her boss married? If so rat her out. At least cause some crap in her life.

StillinShock
02-18-2009, 10:26 PM
jnew....I am so sorry this happened to you. I found out after 27 years of marriage--it is horrible. It has to be very hard with little children at home but those kids will help you see this through and survive. No one knows how are this is until it happens.

First the standard---get yourself tested for sTDs immediately by your family doctor...secure your finances better....get proof best you can...secure your documents as they have a way of dissappearing.

But most importantly, get some counseling for yourself to keep you functioning the best you can for you and your kids.

Good luck to you--you'll survive and although the roller coaster of emotions will get harder before it gets better---it will get better. I promise. It has been a year and a half for me--I don't cry every day anymore. And I don't think of pouring hot coffee on him anymore (okay, I'll be honest--most of the time I thought about a bat to the head). And most importantly, I don't think about driving off the bridge at all! I actually am happy on a lot of days!

Don't blame yourself. You are not stupid. You were just unlucky to marry someone with no morals or without the necessary feelings to prevent her from doing something like this to you. It's horrible.

MuffinMan
02-19-2009, 07:48 AM
She moves out fully and leaves me with three kids!

GOOD!!! Most men get the shaft when a wife has an affair. Men end up losing their children in a divorce if the woman wants custody.

You know what I'd give to be able to get my kids in my home, a nice home away from that lousy huss and her scumbag boyfriend?

I'd take this chance and run with it if I were you!! Document how she left you and the kids, that will be good in court as far as getting custody if you decide to divorce....and really, thats exactly what you need to do. She is a serial cheater. She can't keep her legs crossed around other men. and you can tell her ol Muffinman said so.


I plead for her to come home and she does in 2 weeks and off to an intense weekend shop stories and cry weekend counseling session. (In hindsight I should have had the strength to leave her alone then, I would have been much better off).

yes you would have, and you could have gotten custody of your children pretty easy since she deserted them.



We put it back together and I ger a globe with a note saying she is giving me her world, give me her world she did and another dose I got!!
This past summer on two family vacations she is out to all hours of the night with the nanny and I uncover affair #3. I am told at 7:30 the friday night before check out that we are through and it is too late. She was having an affair with a married guy out of DC. Somebody more her age. I am 49 and she 38.

Which is why I advise never to have more than about a 5 year age gap. Sooner or later, one of you ends up looking like the other's grandparent even though there is a 10 year age difference.



Well, we get divorced. (and I got to be quick here because my anxiety level is rising rather than falling! I thought sharing an overview would help).
She gets paid as i refied the house, and get paid well she did.

What do you mean she gets paid? She have custody? I hope the hell not. Wh0res shouldn't have custody and she deserted them once already.

Of course her lousy ass is entitled to half the marital assets, but i hope by being "paid" she isn't getting alimony! what a crock of sh!t!!


She gets her boobs done, is now in affiar with her married bosss 54 years old and is leaving for Vegas with him in two weeks, acting happy as can be as if I was so terrible. Her new boss works within the same confines i do so it is very embarrassing.

Rat this boss out to his superiors. If the company is smart, they will fire him since he is basically opening the company up for a harrassment lawsuit....consent from your X or no consent. Its a subordinate/supervisor relationship and companies frown on that.


But question is....do you have custody? Please tell me you do.

and congratulations!!! You are no longer married to a wh0re!!

MuffinMan
02-19-2009, 07:51 AM
And what I posted was only the half of details, things said, late nights at home with the kids, silly stories, ect. She just texted me that there was a sale at Office Depot. I was like??????????????? with all my added expenses you want to text me that I can save a few bucks on pens and pencils?? Adios reality is what has taken place

Text her back and tell her, "I only need to be in contact with you regarding the kids.....THATS IT B!TCH!.....don't contact me with petty little small talk like this."

tijaco
02-19-2009, 09:51 PM
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jnewportdel
02-20-2009, 11:50 AM
Yes, I have the kids 65% of the time!!!