No one's immune

[Skirtchaser]

What I thought was the rock of ages has come to an end. I was previously married to my first wife for 18 years. I stayed the last 8 for our four kids. It was a mistake to stay for the kids, all grown now they tell me I made a mistake staying because they knew how miserable I was.
I forgave her three infidelities and let her come back, the fourth I divorced her.

All the kids living at home decided to stay with me. Moving forward While dating I met a Good woman. I dated her and lived with her a couple years. She helped me finish raising my three that was still at home, I helped her raise two of hers. I eventually married her and the first 10 years was bliss. I could not have asked for a more compatible partner, the sex was incredible. I could not have asked for a better partner and I did treat her like a queen. The last four years have been bumpy. She has reverted back to an old alcohol habit and a prescription pill problem. She hid the pill problem very well.

About six months ago she lost a management position, no matter, I make enough to support us with a decent salary and good insurance. She stayed at home. I farm on the side and make good money doing it. I also operate a private security buisness along with working for a private attorney.

Her oldest daughter whom is unmarried and has two children by different men, has regressed back to an old drug habit. She is in and out of jail. We raised her 3 1/2 year old son for two months. Last week I checked up on her cellphone, I discovered she was calling people from her past, persons I realized she had relationships with. I confronted her and she admitted to three affairs in the past three years.

Last week while I was at work, she packed and the old friends came and got her. She left the state with them. She dumped the little boy off at my son's house while I was at work. Wow, he has been fecked over by his mother now his grandma. He's living with me now, I know he is not my blood, but I love him and don't intend anyone else ever hurting him again.

Now as for her leaving, I'm a big guy, I been through this before. I don't intend on giving up on love or finding a partner to take care of and be taken care of. The thing that is scaring me to death is raising another child at 51 years old. I have 18 grand kids and six that have been brought into the family. I have had one hell of a time getting him to stay with a sitter while I am at work. He's so scared , in his words, I'm gonna runed off and left him.

I have been a rock for the people around me, and have a good name in my town. It's hard to admit that I'm scared. Not of divorce, I've already started filing. But to be a parent again with one so young, he is such a good little boy and tells me many times a day or night he loves me. I can't turn my back on that kind of love.

[bchgrl2008]

Chaser-
You are an amazing man. I would be scared if you weren't raising that little boy. I am so sorry that now we have to comfort you, since you are one of the people who have been there for me for the last year. I can't believe that she would leave him behind, or you for that matter. Shame on her. 51 or not, you will make an amazing parent to a child that needs you more than anything. It will be hard, but true love is love that cannot break. By raising that little boy, you have given him the greatest gift of love imaginable, and he won't grow up to be like the poison he has come from. I always respected you on this site, but now, I have even more respect for you. You will leave a lasting impression on this little boy, and he will grow up to be an incredible man. He will have you to thank for that. Kudos to you for taking on such a huge responsibility, and no matter what, we will be here for you. You have done wonders for so many here, and for that, we owe you many smiles.

[Skirtchaser]

aww, bchgrl,
you brought a tear to this tuff guy's eyes, thanx for the kind words, they really mean a lot to me.

[ben04]

words can not describe how my heart hurts for you, living though one f-ed up situation, then this. You are an inspiration

[Skirtchaser]

words can not describe how my heart hurts for you, living though one f-ed up situation, then this. You are an inspiration

Thanx ben, but if ole chaser can make it anyone else can too. Life goes on.

[KATURN]

I have been a rock for the people around me, and have a good name in my town. It's hard to admit that I'm scared. Not of divorce, I've already started filing. But to be a parent again with one so young, he is such a good little boy and tells me many times a day or night he loves me. I can't turn my back on that kind of love.


Bless you for being a light to this child. It is people such as you who will make a true difference in someones life.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

I you look in the dictionary, under real man, there's a picture of skirtchaser.

[Ravage]

Wow skirt you are awesome. You are a wonderful parent.

I hope you sue the B and get all the child support in the world to teach her a lesson! what is everyone around you saying about her actions? how could she just up and abandon her young son like that?

I'm happy for you skirt, that kid is gonna be a happy kid just you wait. My grandfather kinda raised me when my father wasnt around when i was young i am eternally grateful for it.

[Skirtchaser]

Wow skirt you are awesome. You are a wonderful parent.

I hope you sue the B and get all the child support in the world to teach her a lesson! what is everyone around you saying about her actions? how could she just up and abandon her young son like that?

I'm happy for you skirt, that kid is gonna be a happy kid just you wait. My grandfather kinda raised me when my father wasnt around when i was young i am eternally grateful for it.

We live in a small Texas town, most people here know me. I let them form their own opinions of her

and her older daughter. I'm not going to bash her here, but they both aren't fairing too well with public opinion. Her middle daughter has three kids of her own. She works here and is very popular here. She is the peach of the family, I call her my little do no wrong. She is standing like a rock with me, her or her husband are constantly checking on me. Proof once again, a child doesn't have to have your blood line to be yours.

[demoralized]

Chaser, sorry man. I don't know what to say other than that.

I wish you the best.

[Slim]

Hey man--- I dont know how much more you can take, but you seem like a very strong individual and Im glad I got to talk to you, the best advice came from you, so listen to yourself. Raising a child is scary, no matter the age. just keep your chin up and turn this child into someone respectable, it shouldnt be that hard for you, all you gotta do is be yourself-- remember "you aint like that no more." good luck, I wish you well.

[tijaco]

Chaser,

That little guy is so lucky to have you. His worry brought me tears. Each day when you drop him off, tell him what you're gonna do at work and what you guys have to do when you get home.
Like when I pick you up we're gonna eat hamburgers and then you have to help granddad pull weeds in the garden, so tell Ms. so and so to hold on to these gloves until I pick you up cuz you'll need them for your hands.

That kinda strategy may give him some security and he will feel better after a few weeks when he sees you everyday showing up to get him.

Hey my parents say babies keep you young so you should have them around all the time. I believe that is true cuz at 76 my dad cuts his 1 acre yard with one arm and a push mower....usually a kid trailing behind him talking or wanting to push also. They both look great and they really contribute it to the grands always being around. Now they are starting on the second batch with 5 greats.

[Skirtchaser]

Hey man--- I dont know how much more you can take, but you seem like a very strong individual and Im glad I got to talk to you, the best advice came from you, so listen to yourself. Raising a child is scary, no matter the age. just keep your chin up and turn this child into someone respectable, it shouldnt be that hard for you, all you gotta do is be yourself-- remember "you aint like that no more." good luck, I wish you well.

Slim, you made me laugh today. I needed that. Thanx.

[Skirtchaser]

Well guys thanks for the kind words. We made it through the second day at the sitter. He threw a fit but calmed down in a couple minutes of me leaving.
The hardest thing is getting this dam.n house organized for the two of us. She left a mess.
Ladies, to all you who work and organize your homes, My hat's off to you. I had forgotten how hard it is.

[StillinShock]

skirtchaser...are you staying in the home yourself with your young child? How old is he?

[Skirtchaser]

skirtchaser...are you staying in the home yourself with your young child? How old is he?

Yes I am, she left the state and his mother is in jail. He's 3 1/2 years old and seen too much bad in his little life.

[betrayed again]

Chaser, you have restored my faith in men - I just wish there were more of you out there.

You have each other now, and that is all you and your little boy will need. After a while the bad he has seen will be replaced by the good you can show him. You both will be fine - I can tell.

Take care.

[silas]

Chaser

All the luck in the world to you! Thanks for participating in my thread! You gave me some good advice and helped me through some really tough times in my situation.

I sending all the good vibes I can muster to you.

Si

[law]

Skirt,
You are amazing and that is one blessed little guy. And 51 is not old at all. My dad was 50 when my parents had their last son and he was what kept them young. All things happen for a reason and I am thinking this little guy just needed you and your undivided attention. Just don't dress him in Dallas Cowboy t-shirts every day, ok?

[InPain]

Skirt...

I wish my sons father was 1/2 the man that you are. You will be fine, and so will your little guy. After all, he has you to take care of him (and vice versa! It's amazing how therapeutic children can be when we are hurting!).

Take care of yourself.

InPain

[Skirtchaser]

Skirt,
You are amazing and that is one blessed little guy. And 51 is not old at all. My dad was 50 when my parents had their last son and he was what kept them young. All things happen for a reason and I am thinking this little guy just needed you and your undivided attention. Just don't dress him in Dallas Cowboy t-shirts every day, ok?

I know, I wasted that 20 plus bucks on his dam.n Romo Jersey.

Well today she has burned up my cell phone, all voice mails because I would not answer. I'm not tore up about her leaving, but I am tore up for the way she did this to my little one. He deserves much better out of life than what these two women have offered him. She left the typical shi.t.... I want to come home, I'm going to change etc......

I'm not going to talk to her now because it's just best.

[cats8398]

Stay strong, Skirt - It's amazing how they leave and rip our hearts out and then beg to come back within days - I'm sure you'll do whats best when the time is right. You're doing a great job with the little one too :)

[bchgrl2008]

Hey Chaser-
My son is also 3 1/2, and it is tough when they deal with the separation of parents. My boy knew my husband was different when he was having his affair, and I remember brainstorming with the daycare provider on how to deal with him and what might be wrong. Some advice...I began positive speech to my boy every morning. Instead of saying things like "Don't do...., you can't do....it's bad when you....that hurts feelings when you...." etc, I would say things like, "Guess what buddy, you are going to have a great day! Mommy loves you and I can't wait to hear how great you were at school when I pick you up! Sounds corny, but with my little buddy it worked. He hasn't been hitting, kicking, or pushing for quite some time now. He will need all of your attention for a while, and I am sure you know that, but he is a very lucky little boy to have you. Take a look at all the support you have here, and that should show you how much of a man you are. Keep forging ahead and I know if anyone can get through it, it's you.

[oscarland]

Skirt, really sad to see this happening to you. You are a great man and I really appreciate the advise you gave me, even though I didn't want to hear it at the time. My wife and son finally moved out this past weekend to another town leaving me alone with my dog. My prayers are with you.

[sadpatricia]

Skirt:

It's hard hearing you be mopey...your posts usually make me chuckle with your somewhat blunt observations...I'm the big 5-0 too and this whole thing scares the cr*p out of me. Don't be sad: your boy loves you. My teenagers - 16, 18, 19 at the time - had a very rough time too. My 16 year old ( now 17) suffered the most and I think he's just starting to feel better now.

I'm thinking of you! I had to deal with Brady being out for almost the entire season. We've all had better years.

Sadpatricia

[bchgrl2008]

OK, Tom Brady is a cheating trash pot!!! Sadpatricia....no!!! You can't be a Patriots fan!!!!!! NO NO NO!!!

I will get slammed here, but if it makes anyone smile....I am a die-hard CHARGERS fan!!! Antonio Gates is my boy!!! I wear his jersey at every football game.

[sadpatricia]

Bchgrl...
I love him for football only...Look, I was born and raised in Boston. I moved to CA when I was 25. I root for the Lakers and Angels ONLY when they do not happen to play a Boston team. For football, I'm a one-team-woman. San Diego was crucified in the playoffs. Don't worry I'm not snickering...
Sadpatricia

[breemood]

Chaser is this the same little guy who helps you cook? Maybe you should buy him a Steeler jersey and see if it has a calming affect?:rolleyes::p You will be okay big guy. You have been my rock for the last 2 years. Since day one, when I came here. So what I see is a little boy who is going to grow into one hell of a man.:)

[bchgrl2008]

Chaser-
Tony Romo's hot so I will allow the little guy his jersey.

Sadpatricia-
I love you anyway, and FYI Boston is my favorite city. Since I am a die hard San Diegan, born and raised, I find it hard to love anywhere else. Boston is awesome though. The North End and Regina's pizza......

You stay classy San Diego....

[Skirtchaser]

Chaser is this the same little guy who helps you cook? Maybe you should buy him a Steeler jersey and see if it has a calming affect?:rolleyes::p You will be okay big guy. You have been my rock for the last 2 years. Since day one, when I came here. So what I see is a little boy who is going to grow into one hell of a man.:)

Bree you are a rock in this site, don't all you folks give me so much credit. I'm human with all my faults, I just love a little boy who hasn't got anyone else to hold him and love him.

[Slim]

Chaser--- How are you holding up?

[Skirtchaser]

I guess ok, time I get off work, do household duties etc.. sure am tired at the end of the day. He really does try his best to help me. I'm really proud of him.

[Slim]

Sounds like a cool kid. I dont have a job right now so I am pretty relaxed so to speak. Did you get any bad weather yesteday?

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

has she showed up at your door yet? I figure by the time the money runs out and she has just enough for bus fare, she will be back. Any takers?

[Skirtchaser]

65 voice mails on my cell, I'm still not answering her calls. Begging to come back. Too little too late. I made the mistake of bonding out her bit.ch daughter out of jail. She kept Kaden one day then dumped him off and hauled ass. Like mother like daughter.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

I guess the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. 65 voice mails? Wow. Its a shame to think that your wife had to put you through all this to only find out (or remember) what kind of guy she had.

[tomasingm]

Skirt I always knew Texas was tough, but you me friend are beyond that. You have given many many people strength here. You are put on the situation you are in because I don't believe there is any one else that can take what you have and keep trucking. You are one tough guy, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And that little fellow is very lucky to have a man like you to look up to and raise. There somethings in life that just dont work out the way we planned or hoped for. You are the only thing that kid has that can teach and show him how to be a good human being. Don't be afraid, be yourself. Be Skirtchaser, a strong man, that knows right and wrong. That values the importance of family and doing the right thing. That is what that kid needs. I do not worry for that kid if you are in his life. He is lucky to have you as many of us are even if it only is online.

[Skirtchaser]

Thanx tomas, and everyone else in this forum. Your words and encouragement have meant a lot.
I have several calls from females in the area where I live like I know your going to be single again. Even got a call from my first ex. I do thank them all and was kind, but I'm in no mood to date. I will again at some point, but it will be someone with class, I don't believe people are destined to be alone.
But for now, I do not feel lonely.

How could I with Kaden around. I took three days vacation to plant and get the truck farm ready. Planted 200 lbs of potatoes today. Kaden was there step for step. Little guy was so dirty when we got back to the house. Then my step, ugh hate that word step, let her three boys stay the night, my daughter from Dallas brought two of her boys by and left them for a visit. Hog heaven.

For all you folks posting here with hurt in your heart, Play that old Melloncamp song, Jack and Diane.
"Oh yea, life goes on. Long after the thrill of living is gone."

[StillinShock]

Skirtchaser, of course you have women calling you! I think you sound like a great guy and the little boy is so lucky to have you to love and to take care of him. It is nice to hear someone focused on the priorities in life and the real joys in life---those little ones with their arms around our neck!
I would bet money that you'll find someone that will appreciate you---and probably sooner than later!

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

How you doin skirtchaser? Those ladies must have been leaving cards, balloons, and flowers at your door step. Your cheater should be nearing a hundred unanswered messages by now.

[Skirtchaser]

Gettin tough to find sitters. Did get away for the weekend. Met someone nice, she was fun to be with. Only meant to go out with my friends, I think they did some match making.

[Ravage]

Go head skirt go get you some, dont be shy about it!!! lol.

Word will travel of how much fun your having, then things will start happening watch!

[oscarland]

Gettin tough to find sitters. Did get away for the weekend. Met someone nice, she was fun to be with. Only meant to go out with my friends, I think they did some match making.

Glad you met someone nice. I think eventually I will get to that point. Have to watch those friends with there matchmaking.

[Skirtchaser]

Glad you met someone nice. I think eventually I will get to that point. Have to watch those friends with there matchmaking.

Thanx Oscar, you will get to that point if you set your mind, I've been through this before, I know what I will and will not accept that life deals me. You'll be fine in time.

[Skirtchaser]

Go head skirt go get you some, dont be shy about it!!! lol.

Word will travel of how much fun your having, then things will start happening watch!

Thanx Ravage, I don't kiss and tell. :) She's nice, didn't hurt none that she looks like Debra Winger. She made me smile, I guess that caught my eye. Just looking for friends now, be sixty days before divorce is final. I guess having been through one before I kinda know what to expect. The worst will be seeing her face to face and seeing the crying and begging. I hate that. But my mind is made up.

[oscarland]

Thanx Ravage, I don't kiss and tell. :) She's nice, didn't hurt none that she looks like Debra Winger. She made me smile, I guess that caught my eye. Just looking for friends now, be sixty days before divorce is final. I guess having been through one before I kinda know what to expect. The worst will be seeing her face to face and seeing the crying and begging. I hate that. But my mind is made up.

Ain't nothin wrong with lookin like Debra Winger....nice. Never have experience the crying and begging. Mine has always placed blame on me. Know it sounds kind of twisted, but I would like to see her crying and begging just once.

[Skirtchaser]

Ain't nothin wrong with lookin like Debra Winger....nice. Never have experience the crying and begging. Mine has always placed blame on me. Know it sounds kind of twisted, but I would like to see her crying and begging just once.

she will when she realizes what she threw away, take a picture and never forget how the most serious of liars can look.

[Slim]

she will when she realizes what she threw away, take a picture and never forget how the most serious of liars can look.

Wow, Where do you find that insight? You cant buy that stuff!!

[Skirtchaser]

Hey guys,
all is well, still have K with me. He's adjusting well. So busy tho now haven't had time to help Bree with the site. Sorry Bree your having to carry the load here. I will try to do better.;)

[demoralized]

Good to hear from you Skirt, glad your doing well, all things considered. Hope K is doing great. Have a great weekend.
Demo

[breemood]

We all do what we can. I am spring break next week guys and I can only get on this site when I am on campus, I will try to find a computer to keep the spam at bay. Bare with me.:)

[xenthius]

Hats off to you, all the respect to you, I really don't know what else to say.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

Skirt, how about an update. how is your grandson doing. What about your ex. Is she still wearing out her cell phone key pad? Did she come back, or get a job? How is the new girl friend. Dish man.

[Skirtchaser]

Hey all is good, divorce will be final Friday. K is with his mother on a trial basis, don't know where that is going just yet. Ex finally gave up, err I hope. I still guard myself.

Everything else is good except for the rain. Have nearly a 5 acre truck farm that is getting way to much rain. A little sunshine would be nice. LoL.

[tomasingm]

Hey all is good, divorce will be final Friday. K is with his mother on a trial basis, don't know where that is going just yet. Ex finally gave up, err I hope. I still guard myself.

Everything else is good except for the rain. Have nearly a 5 acre truck farm that is getting way to much rain. A little sunshine would be nice. LoL.

SKirt, man you sure know do know how to clean house..:D

[Skirtchaser]

Well guys and gals, it's final. The judge awarded me everything I asked for. She did not show up nor contest. I had a good lawyer.

[StillinShock]

Another to cross over to freedom from the cheater...So how are you? I'm glad to hear that the day with the judge went well..
SIS

[sadpatricia]

Skirt:
Congratulations. You sound a bit relieved.
Sincerely,
sadpatricia

[Newly empowered Woman]

well welcome back to single hood.
I have just read this whole thread and ....wow that pretty much sums it up for me.I think anyone friend or family are oh so lucky to have someone like you.I bet that little boy is going to remember how much you were there for him for the rest of hes life.What an amazing thing you have done.
Restores my faith that there are good men out there

[bchgrl2008]

Finally some justice for a good man and a great father. Nice to see the b!tch cared enough to show.........(sarcasm for those who didn't catch it...) Good for you Chaser. You deserve the fresh start!

[tijaco]

Hugs Chaser.

Hope you find the right girl one day...anyway I'm getting a little philosophical in my old age:)...maybe the people in our lives that we love "are" the right people at the right time but then something or someone comes along to ruin that life and relationship.
The thing is, do we have the courage and fortitude to face the unknown and start anew?
Some do and some don't. I really believe that those who do have a much happier future waiting.

Here's to the mild mannered,:rolleyes: unassuming Chief of our site... wishing from here on out my friend, that as you slide down the bannister of life, the splinters never point the wrong way!:D

[Skirtchaser]

That was sweet, Ti. Thanks.

[tillymint]

Jeez Chase, I stay away a while to get my head together, and come back to this.. Damn, was in shock, and sorry I wasnt around to give support when you first posted.

So sorry my friend, that you found yourself in this situation again, and total respect for how you have handled it. You have been here for so many over the years, and so did not deserve this.

I hope all is working out for you, and my prayers are with you.

Tilly x

[limboman]

I you look in the dictionary, under real man, there's a picture of skirtchaser.

agreed! stories like this give us hope