not sure what to do

[rem1710]

Wife started out going to lunnch with a guy from work. Asked me if ok . said ok but not do not let it get to personal. many lies and 3 months later going to lunch everyday and sneaking around behind my back chatting all evening online. Asked her about what was going on after catching her she said nothing and does not remember any details of last 3 months. Not sure where to go from here

[What]

Wife started out going to lunnch with a guy from work. Asked me if ok . said ok but not do not let it get to personal. many lies and 3 months later going to lunch everyday and sneaking around behind my back chatting all evening online. Asked her about what was going on after catching her she said nothing and does not remember any details of last 3 months. Not sure where to go from here

Wow that how it starts ... man stop her before it's too late step in and and meet the guy and mark your teritory.

First lunch, then calls before work afther work and they will end up in bed soon. She is getting attention, and she is getting into the mess she will regret later.

That's how it started in my case now it's too late.
Read my post Affair with a baby. You will see where it's going.

O yeeee memory loss that is a big BS ... she does not want to make up lies, and get cought later with a lie.... women remember **** better then man ok that is a FACT.

You better hurry do not wait week or days act now if you care for her if not get evidence to f her later in court....

[demoralized]

I agree with What, get on it and tell this guy to stay away from your wife. Sounds like a predator to me. DO NOT STALL!!!!!

These A**holes love to bed married women, he is out for a conquest with your wife. Let him know that you are not going to take this, and talk to your wife, let her know that he is not her "friend" he just wants to have sex with her and will act the friend part to get it done.

Go to the bookstore today, and buy "Not Just Friends" and give it to her.

If I had been given the opportunity you have I would have made it crystal f*cking clear, that I was not a man to be taken lightly.

Threaten his life. It's more than likely not against the law in your state to do so under the circumstances, aside from that, if he reported you, h would have to explain your motive, and admit his actions, and then.........prove that you threatened him.

Chicken sh*t a**wads like him will simply turn away and move on to the next conquest, She doesn't mean enough to him to risk all that.

DO NOT WAIT!!!!!

[Mutt]

If she hasn't already gotten physical with this guy, she may be in denial about where it is going and how much their relationship means to her. These guys take time to build trust and twist emotions in their favour.

Get a key logger and find out what their saying. She's going to play it down and try to say your over reacting. You need facts not suspicions. Show her in her own words how wrong the situation is. If she cares about you and your relationship you do not have much time to react and save something.

[rem1710]

she says she broke it off and they dont speak anymore but she has been lying up to now how do you know what to believe. i love my wife very much and dont want a broken home but my mind is going a mile a second and i dont know what to do.i dont want her to go but i dont want another knife in my heart either

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

You need to put a VAR in her car and in the house when you aren't home. Leave it and go out for a few hours while shes there. Put it where she talks.

[Quetran]

We have a similar thing taking place at work. There is a guy that pursued several ladies at work. He is what you would call an alpha-male or womanizer. He didn't care if the ladies were married or not. He used manipulation techniques to get what he wanted. Most of us ladies didn't fall for his tactics. In a particular instance, it started with lunch. It eventually led to them having a serious relationship with each other, without the husband knowing. They "worked late", etc, and tried to keep their relationship private from others at work. She eventually left her husband for TOG. She also was a big manipulator and would tell her husband that they were "just friends".

So I suggest to you, that you start keeping tabs with her. If she says she's going out with friends, you let her go do her thing like normal. Get some help and try to find out the truth behind it all. Good luck.

[MuffinMan]

Wife started out going to lunnch with a guy from work. Asked me if ok . said ok but not do not let it get to personal. many lies and 3 months later going to lunch everyday and sneaking around behind my back chatting all evening online. Asked her about what was going on after catching her she said nothing and does not remember any details of last 3 months. Not sure where to go from here

Its easy, if you find out she is cheating on you with this guy, which I can tell you straight up she is, then I'd divorce her.

Ya ya, I know, some will say its not that easy and to just forgive her.

But answer me this.....you think you will ever trust her again? If you don't know, then I'll answer it for you. No, you won't. Even if you forgive her and she stops doing it, you will always, from this point on, be suspicious of her every move. What kind of life is that?

Life with a cheater is no life at all. At the very least threaten her with divorce, but don't threaten if you aren't prepared to follow through with it.

And if you do forgive her and she wants to work on making it up to you, first order of business would be that she quits her job and finds a new one. No ifs ands or f#ckin' butts about it. As someone that might forgive her, she shouldn't expect for you to put up with her being in the company of this other man.

[MuffinMan]

I agree with What, get on it and tell this guy to stay away from your wife. Sounds like a predator to me. DO NOT STALL!!!!!

These A**holes love to bed married women

I actually was at a bar, and being from a small town everyone knew everyone, and saw one of the notorious "other men" in town get the everloving dogsh!t beat out of him. It was so fun to watch.

The husband came in, drug his ass outside and beat him to a pulp. I don't condone violence, but he got what he deserved.

but then again, his wife deserved similar, but I don't EVER condone hitting a woman, unless in self defense, and even then it would have to be damn bad.

[rem1710]

Dogsrule that was a good one i like a good joke but dont care for the mental picture. We have been talking and things are going ok but im still standing my ground and keeping a little distance. She still says nothing physical happened and i still want my marriage to work.Hopefully it wont be my biggest mistake.I am really thankful for everyones replies that have provided imput on this whole thing and welcome more. Im just not ready to give up yet.Always like a good laugh too.Let the other half read posts not so fond of dogsrule.What a suprise.I let her read the posts to give her a new perspective on what the victims go through.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

I think no one responds to the Voice Activated Recorder because they are afraid to find out the truth
You need to get a semen test kit. And check her underwear after she has a long lunch (in fact buy several). She is lying to you.

[Skirtchaser]

Yea, use the kit Don't do like the one poster here did, the unholy taste test. Uggghh..

[Ravage]

VAR recorder or keylogger if you want definite proof but she already knows your ono her she could take things underground.

Pray for sunshine , prepare for rain.

Things will get better no matter what you choose.