wife slept with her boss from work!!!

[tomt26]

around june of 2007 i received divorce papers for the second time....while she claimed she was trying to make it work, she was seeing her co worker for about 3 months. after going through her phone several times, i read hundreds of text messages about how much they enjoyes cyber sex, phone sex, and on at least 1 occasion, real sex. After several months, my wife has decided to drop the divorce proceedings. But ever sinse i found out, I can not get over the fact my wife was with another man..i obsess about them being together and wonder why that type of excitment is not in out own marriage. Will I ever get over this? how can i put the passion she has for him back in our marriage?

[betrayed again]

No, you will never get over this. You will never trust her again. And she will probably continue to cheat on you if you stay married to her. She obviously doesn't want to be in the relationship if she has served divorce papers on you twice.

Serve some divorce papers on her and get out while you still can. She is not worth it.

[Skirtchaser]

The hurt won't go away for a long time, maybe never as long as you opt to stay with her.
And no you can't put that passion back. He was forbidden fruit. She had raw unbridled sex with him. There's no telling what all she did for him in bed that she has never done for you. She won't stop, if not the boss she will be screwing someone else. Once a cheater always a cheater.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

Dump her. She is a lying cheat. Divorce her an write a letter to the president of the company or board and tell them about what happened. Tell them they need to look at interpersonal relations in the work place (really you want to f up their careers)

[tomt26]

everything on what you said is true, but i still do love her.....we have a 3 year old daughter who means the world to me....i still want my family, and i really feel .like an idiot for letting her take advantage of her....its the fact that she still works with him is what really bothers me....every second shes at work is very hard for me because my imagination runs wild and i can still imagine them all over each other.....i still desperately want my family, and ill do whatever it takes to keep my family intact.....i just wish i could get over this.....do u think professional counseling will help?

[law]

You will never, ever get over it as long as she is going to work and seeing this guy every day. She needs to get another job and loose all contact with the OM. She has to do this. And getting back to you ever getting over it? It has been over 10 years since I found out my H had cheated and I still have not gotten over it. It never goes away. Even when things are going wonderfully there is always this little memory that will just keep popping up in your mind. But first things first, make her quit her job and have no contact with this person. Good luck!

[Slim]

I dont know but I dont think she feels the same way about the given situation.....

[heavensheart]

Sry but my H still also works with BIH. It has been a little over a year and I was in your shoes unable to stop thinking of them. My H said he couldn't stop NOT talking to her because of work but I'd still find crap like texts and notes that had nothing to do with work along with her just showing up when he was out with his friends. I know it's hard because I also have a 4 yr old and I love my H so much. But after a year of him and her still working together I've had enough. I wish you luck but continue to check up on them because it's hard to stop if they work together.

[Flynn]

No way with this work if she continues to work with him!!! You would be the rare exception to the rule. Whats are the odds of that??:rolleyes:

[StillinShock]

Yes, yes, yes, get counseling. I really don't want to give up on my 30 year marriage either---but you are right, the pain won't go away. And I know the trust will never ever be there. That would be foolish.

Counseling helps. Call today. If you want to do everything, then do this.
And she needs to go to her own therapist. Do this before marriage counseling.

[doesmybuttlookfatinthis]

Your only way to move forward on this is to draw a line in the sand. File for divorce, when she asks "why"? Tell her you can't live with the torture of her going to work every day and being with this guy. It is heartless, and if you did love me you wouldn't put me through this. At least then you will know if she loves you at all.

[lovepuns]

why would you let her continue to work the guy?..you must have a reason you haven't demanded her to quit? she seems cold hearted because she has no problem working with him after the fact. if you want to make it work and you don't want to be her door mat, you need to take some control of the situation, be firm and willing to end it. if she mistreats you still, its probably because she knows you won't leave her. and if you do plan on leaving her...start making your case for custody today. collect all the evidence you need before letting her know you are leaving her. and don't feel guilty, if she is willing to risk her family for sex, then naturally this prooves she would neglect what is best for her child for her own pleasure. i think its insane when the cheater gets custody...:mad:

[MuffinMan]

around june of 2007 i received divorce papers for the second time....while she claimed she was trying to make it work, she was seeing her co worker for about 3 months. after going through her phone several times, i read hundreds of text messages about how much they enjoyes cyber sex, phone sex, and on at least 1 occasion, real sex. After several months, my wife has decided to drop the divorce proceedings. But ever sinse i found out, I can not get over the fact my wife was with another man..i obsess about them being together and wonder why that type of excitment is not in out own marriage. Will I ever get over this? how can i put the passion she has for him back in our marriage?


No, you won't get over this. And even if you do get over it for the most part, you will never see her in the same light and will never be ok with her going out and doing certain things, much less going to the same job where this other man is. hell, you won't be ok with her being in the company of any men when away from you. She clearly has proven she can't keep from helping herself to other men.

I'd say you file for divorce and ditch this b!tch.

[Ravage]

Either she starts to leave her job looking for another one or you file for divorce. Right now either your marriage comes first or her job does. If she cant come to believe what she has done and continues to do is not hurting you she is wrong.

Time to draw the line in the sand.