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holikdad
10-29-2008, 08:39 AM
This will be long winded, but be happy to know that I'm a stickler for punctuation and spelling. :D

This December I'll of been married for 15 years, my wife and I got married very young, but we've always had a very good marriage. We've always been a team, and have had to fight our way together over many obstacles.

Ok, now with that BS out of the way I'll start the story.....

Last February my wife and I moved into a new place after 10 years. We ran across a box that my wife had during her teenage/high school years that contained memorabilia from that time. We found a couple of letters from someone that my wife had dated for about 6 months and was engaged to for 1 month, 18 years ago. One month after their engagement my wife dumped the guy to get married to another guy who was in the Navy.

So back to the 18 year old fiancee, after reading the letters with her I could see that she still felt a lot of guilt over dumping the guy so I thought that it would be a good idea if we could find him on the internet and she could give him a call to explain what had been happening in her life at that time, apologize, and help heal an old wound. This was MAJOR mistake one on my part. I know you're all thinking, "Damn, you're stupid", but I did it because I care about my wife and was hoping that she could put a small part of her past behind her, which she wouldn't be able to do with the sexual abuse she endured for years from her Step Father.

We were able to find this guy pretty easily on the internet, he'd had the same job for years, and they'd written articles about him so that was the easy part.

She gave him a call, while I was there, and they spent about 45 minutes on the phone, mostly her explaining what had happened in her life 18 years ago, and why she dumped him so badly without any explanation. Over the next two weeks they exchanged a couple of phone calls, which my wife told me about, and then things started to change. This all started around the middle to end of July of this year. Luckily however this OM lives about 1000 miles away from us.

After a couple of weeks she received a package in the mail which was sent to our house from this guy that contained a Tee-Shirt, an autographed book from her favorite author, and a shot glass. My wife collects shot glasses, but I didn't really appreciate the gifts, but it wasn't like he'd sent naked pictures and flowers to her so I let it go even though it bothered me.

I have to travel sometimes with my job so I can be gone and out of the house from Monday - Friday on business trips. I started noticing small changes in my wife, nothing huge, but my sub-conscious was telling me something was wrong. She didn't call me as much when I was on the road, she didn't talk for very long, things of that nature.

So a couple of more weeks goes by, and I know she's still continuing to talk to him because she's telling me, she's actually going out of my way to tell me that their conversations are all revolved around their family and kids. Another two weeks go by, and something happens, and I'm not sure what, but a huge red flag goes up in my mind. So I tell her that it's starting to bother me that she's having so much communication with him, and I think it would be better for us and our family if she stops talking to him. I said she should call him and tell him that their relationship was putting a strain on our marriage and that she's enjoyed talking to him, but they needed to stop. So still being a nice guy.

I started to notice other things, like for a couple of weeks I didn't hear her cell phone ring, ever. I checked it one day and saw that it was on vibrate only, I asked her about it and she said it was because they made a rule at her work that all cell phone's had to be on vibrate so she's just left it that way. Humm, yea right.

Throughout this time we were starting to have problems, problems we'd never had before. I was beginning to feel ignored because of their "friendship", and I expressed my feelings but she turned it back around on me and said that I was trying to control her friends. Which I have NEVER done before in the past. We've always had minimal friends because our family had been our lives for many years. I didn't mention it before but we have three children, all boys aged 11, 13 & 17.

Something was wrong, I could feel it, she was still acting pretty much the same, our sex life didn't change, she was still affectionate, but I knew something was wrong. I also found out during this time period that the OM was married and had been married for 15 years as well with three children of his own.

One night we went to bed, I'll never forget that day it was Sep. 5th of this year, and I couldn't fall asleep so I went downstairs to watch TV. Once I got downstairs I started feeling really suspicious so I looked through her purse and college school bag and found a letter from the OM. A love letter telling her how much he still loves her, how much he thinks about her, and how much he wants to sleep with her. Well that was it for me, I went upstairs and woke up my wife and asked her to come downstairs.

I sat her down and told her that I was looking through her things because of my suspicions and had found this letter from the OM. She just looked at me, and I asked if she had been reciprocating his affection for her and she said she had. I asked her what we were going to do about this, and she said that she had very strong feelings for him and didn't want their relationship to stop. I told her she couldn't live under our roof and continue on with him like this. So I asked her to pick, me or him, she choose him. It's funny because I remember asking her four times that night while we sat and talked and each time she chose him. We stayed up talking all night until she had to go to work that Friday morning.

After she left for work I called a friend and my mother to explain what was going on and to tell them that she was leaving me. I also decided that I was going to track down the OM's wife and tell her what was going on, because I figured she had no idea either. And BTW when this started the OM told my wife that he had told his wife that they were in contact again.

I did some more internet searching, thank god the OM's wife worked for their local school district because her name, number, and email address were easily found. I had to call the OM's wife several times at work before I finally got her on the phone. I explained to her that her husband and my wife had been having an over the phone affair for about 4 to 6 weeks. She was shocked, so shocked in fact she didn't think that I was talking to the correct person.

A couple of hours later my wife got home and asked if I had called the OM's wife, and I said that I had. I told her that I didn't think that it was fair for her and her children to be in the dark about their activities. Well come to find out when I got off the phone with the OM's wife she checked her cell phone bill and found a ton of calls to my wife. The OM's wife called my wife, and asked is this "WifeName", and my wife said yes, then she hung up on her. I found out later that she called her husband and told him that when he gets off work to come home and pack his crap and get the hell out of the house. She even threatened to shoot him so when he went home that evening he had to have a police escort.

On Sept. 5th we told our kids that we were getting divorced, which devastated them and my wife was going to move out and live with her mother that day.

Well she didn't leave, the decision had been made, but she didn't actually pack and go. After speaking to a psychologist that day he said that I needed to make her make a decision, make her stick to it, but not actually kick her out of the house which I did.

That Friday night while we were discussing the separating of our bills and assets she started to get emotional. She still thought things were going to be pretty much the same between us even though she was moving out to be with another man. I explained to her that this was a divorce, I wouldn't be there to hold her anymore, have sex with her, talk to her when she had a bad day, none of it. This was when she broke down and started sobbing, she ran up to our bedroom and I followed her.

To paraphrase the ending because I've already taken up a bunch of space already it ended like this. The OM and his wife had a 1-on-1 meeting the day after she kicked him out of the house and they decided to patch things up. I received an email from the OM's wife, a very nice woman BTW, that the OM was not going to be contacting my wife in any way shape or form, and to tell my wife to do the same. By this time my wife had already decided to stay anyway and we had been spending the whole weekend together anyway.

Earlier on when I was still checking up on their conversations I found that in one month they had exchanged 99 cell phone calls, which was way to much for a "friendly" relationship. My wife was also planning on having a "Girls Weekend" the first weekend in October, which I found out later was going to include the OM.

So now we heal, which is very difficult to do, I don't trust her anymore. The bond that we once had has been completely destroyed by her, but she's trying VERY hard to make everything better. She is extremely attentive and doting, she always tells me where she is and what she's doing, even though I haven't asked. So we'll see, at this time it's a healing process, this has never happened before, and like everyone else always says, I never thought it could ever happen, not with my wife.

I've posted the email that my wife sent the OM in the next thread, I tried to attach it but the file size restrictions are to small.

holikdad
10-29-2008, 08:39 AM
OM,

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the past two months and feel very idiotic. I allowed myself to overlook the marriage “Me” and I have been so proud of for 15 years. My feelings for you weren’t real, merely based on irrational remorse from a 6 month relationship that was over 18 years ago. I should have ended this a long time ago, but that’s my mistake.

I think that it’s important for you to know that what happened between us wasn’t real. You need to understand that I allowed my guilt over hurting you 18 years ago cloud my judgment. Although I accept some of the blame for what happened, I blame you for starting this. I told you early on that I was happy in my marriage that I wasn’t running away from anything but you still pursued a relationship, knowing we were both married. In some weird way, I felt obligated to reciprocate your feelings for me and jeopardize the wonderful marriage I already had. I owed you nothing but it was almost too late before I realized it.

I’m very glad that you and “OM’s wife” are able to work through this. “Me” and I are working through it as well and I’m grateful that I have this chance. I love him very much. Moving on with “Me” is the best choice for my future. I don’t think things would have worked out between us. We were not very compatible I simply need more in a relationship and you don’t have what I need. “Me” fulfills my needs quite nicely and I’m going to do what I need to repair this relationship. I think it’s best for all around that you don’t respond to this, nor attempt to ever call or contact me again, regardless of what happens in life.

I have a loving husband that simply adores me. He’s very romantic and loving, gentle yet protective. Our family has suffered greatly, but we, as a team, will get back all that was lost.

The goal to explain what happened 18 years ago is complete there is no longer any need for us to correspond in the future. You can tell “OM’s wife” about this or not, “Me” knows either way.

Please remember – no matter what happens, don’t contact me ever again.


My Cheating Wife

MuffinMan
10-29-2008, 11:04 AM
I told her she couldn't live under our roof and continue on with him like this. So I asked her to pick, me or him, she choose him.

Nuff said. Cancel the b!tch.




A couple of hours later my wife got home and asked if I had called the OM's wife, and I said that I had. I told her that I didn't think that it was fair for her and her children to be in the dark about their activities. Well come to find out when I got off the phone with the OM's wife she checked her cell phone bill and found a ton of calls to my wife. The OM's wife called my wife, and asked is this "WifeName", and my wife said yes, then she hung up on her. I found out later that she called her husband and told him that when he gets off work to come home and pack his crap and get the hell out of the house.


DAMN I like that woman. She rocks!!


She even threatened to shoot him so when he went home that evening he had to have a police escort.

LOL!!! Thats awesome. Now its your turn to put your skank out on the street.




Well she didn't leave, the decision had been made, but she didn't actually pack and go. After speaking to a psychologist that day he said that I needed to make her make a decision, make her stick to it, but not actually kick her out of the house which I did.

Well you can't kick her out, but you can, and should, ask her to leave since she is the one that decided to say fek off to the marriage.


That Friday night while we were discussing the separating of our bills and assets she started to get emotional. She still thought things were going to be pretty much the same between us even though she was moving out to be with another man. I explained to her that this was a divorce, I wouldn't be there to hold her anymore, have sex with her, talk to her when she had a bad day, none of it.

GOOD!! She doesn't deserve to use you as a security blanket any longer. Let her get that from the other man.


This was when she broke down and started sobbing, she ran up to our bedroom and I followed her.

Thats what she wanted you to do, I wouldn't have followed her.



To paraphrase the ending because I've already taken up a bunch of space already it ended like this. The OM and his wife had a 1-on-1 meeting the day after she kicked him out of the house and they decided to patch things up.

I guess she doesn't rock after all.:(



I received an email from the OM's wife, a very nice woman BTW, that the OM was not going to be contacting my wife in any way shape or form, and to tell my wife to do the same. By this time my wife had already decided to stay anyway and we had been spending the whole weekend together anyway.

Oh, your WIFE decided to stay eh? I don't think that is her decision to make. It should be yours. And I'd divorce her still. She chose HIM, remember? The fact that he isn't available should have no bearing.



Earlier on when I was still checking up on their conversations I found that in one month they had exchanged 99 cell phone calls, which was way to much for a "friendly" relationship. My wife was also planning on having a "Girls Weekend" the first weekend in October, which I found out later was going to include the OM.


She was found out to be an untrustworthy woman. And she is planning a "girls weekend"??? I don't think so. I think she f#cked that kind of partying up when she strayed. Either she acts like a wife, or she packs her sh!t and gets out.

And its going to include the OM? Does his wife know? How stupid are these two??


So now we heal, which is very difficult to do, I don't trust her anymore. The bond that we once had has been completely destroyed by her, but she's trying VERY hard to make everything better.

By going out to party with "the girls" all weekend WITH the OM?? She isn't "trying" at all. Or was all this planned before you caught them?

Either way, I'd still divorce her. You KNOW you will never be able to trust her again. EVER! You do realize this don't you?

MuffinMan
10-29-2008, 11:14 AM
OM,

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the past two months and feel very idiotic. I allowed myself to overlook the marriage “Me” and I have been so proud of for 15 years. My feelings for you weren’t real, merely based on irrational remorse from a 6 month relationship that was over 18 years ago. I should have ended this a long time ago, but that’s my mistake.

I think that it’s important for you to know that what happened between us wasn’t real. You need to understand that I allowed my guilt over hurting you 18 years ago cloud my judgment. Although I accept some of the blame for what happened, I blame you for starting this.


Wrong, she was the one that contacted HIM first. And she didn't have to reciprocate anything from him. What? She doesn't have a f#cking mind of her own? he used the Vulcan Mind Meld on her eh?

She is blame shifting. How pathetic.



I told you early on that I was happy in my marriage that I wasn’t running away from anything but you still pursued a relationship, knowing we were both married.


Oh, its all his fault. He pursued her, like she never heard of the word "no".

Again, its pathetic. And so is your wife.



In some weird way, I felt obligated to reciprocate your feelings for me and jeopardize the wonderful marriage I already had. I owed you nothing but it was almost too late before I realized it.


So let me get this straight. She did him dirty years ago. he got over it and moved on. So to drudge up the past, which I'm sure he forgot about, she calls him and gets him thinking about something he more than likely long forgot about?? And she is blame shifting now?:confused:


I’m very glad that you and “OM’s wife” are able to work through this. “Me” and I are working through it as well and I’m grateful that I have this chance. I love him very much.

Apparantly not as much as she thought. Lets not forget that this whole time she is writing this letter saying this is all his fault SHE CHOSE HIM when you asked her to choose.

So her blame shifting here makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. She must think you are really stupid.


Moving on with “Me” is the best choice for my future. I don’t think things would have worked out between us. We were not very compatible I simply need more in a relationship and you don’t have what I need.

Ah, so what if he, or someone else that comes along, DOES have what she "needs"?




I have a loving husband that simply adores me. He’s very romantic and loving, gentle yet protective.


And as a loving husband, this is how she repayed you?



The goal to explain what happened 18 years ago is complete there is no longer any need for us to correspond in the future. You can tell “OM’s wife” about this or not, “Me” knows either way.


And lets remember the goal. It was to selfishly absolve herself of guilt. Forget the fact that drudging it up could have brought back painful memories for him. her motives were selfish.

But I digress, because this guy is a cheater too.

Please remember – no matter what happens, don’t contact me ever again.


If I was the other man, I'd reply, "then don't ever try to contact me out of the blue 20 years from now because you feel guilty, idiot"


My Cheating Wife


That last part sums it up. You have a cheating wife. Whether or not she never crosses that line again, that is what you have. You deserve better.

holikdad
10-29-2008, 11:44 AM
Yep, that's exactly what I've been dealing with now. I have a cheating wife, and I doubt that I'll ever forgive her.

Mistakes can be made in a marriage, but this one isn't easy to come back from.

BTW - The girls weekend was planned before I caught her. She had told me about having the girls weekend, and she had one before a couple of years ago that she enjoyed, so at the time I just figured she needed to blow off some steam. This weekend didn't happen because I caught her and she cut off all communication with the OM. The one thing that makes me smile though is that the OM had already bought a ticket to come out for like $350.00 so he might as well of wiped his a** with that money, because it didn't happen. :D

The biggest thing is just to take it one day at a time. I still haven't decided if I want her to stay or not. It's only been a month and a half, but I still feel very undecided about it.

The situation with this guy was unique because of their past history, but I know if she'd do it with him, then she'd do it with somebody else.

burgerrr
10-29-2008, 01:09 PM
Your story is very similar to mine, with one big difference... I insisted she leave and have never looked back. In the middle of divorce negotiations and can hardly wait to be rid of her.

Yeah, I loved her but for me trust is as important as love. If you can truly forgive than fine, but you will never forget and you will never feel the same about her. This is the life you will have.

For me a fresh start with someone who is honest and trustworthy is extremely important. It is the love and respect for myself that allows me to move on.

holikdad
10-29-2008, 01:31 PM
Yea, this is probably the hardest decision I've had to make.

I've made her very aware that the jury is still out on my decision, and that she may still need to go. If it truly was because it was a "special" situation, then she should be given another chance, but if not she should leave.

I guess that's the question I've been mulling over for a couple of weeks. She didn't get to meet the OM, but I did ask her if their weekend hadn't gotten canceled would she of slept with him if he made a move, and she said "Probably yes". That one bugs me a lot too.

HitByABrick
10-29-2008, 03:19 PM
I'm at the stage (1 month and a half into this) that I have yet learned about three different lies my W provided me truths too...Again after she got caught in one.....Im fed up. I felt this feeling leave me that night and honestly I'm pretty indifferent in feelings to her.
I feel that I will never forgive her...
I am certain that I will never have any trust in her...she has destroyed any chance of that.
Yesterday I took down any pictures of our wedding...(out 8th year anniversary was in aug)
She came home and said "You want to give up?" I just walked away...I have not made any decisions to continue or not. Im not going to get counciling. I did nothing to require it. She needs a shrink and I hope it helps her become a better human...
my 2 cents

Skirtchaser
10-29-2008, 06:52 PM
I'm at the stage (1 month and a half into this) that I have yet learned about three different lies my W provided me truths too...Again after she got caught in one.....Im fed up. I felt this feeling leave me that night and honestly I'm pretty indifferent in feelings to her.
I feel that I will never forgive her...
I am certain that I will never have any trust in her...she has destroyed any chance of that.
Yesterday I took down any pictures of our wedding...(out 8th year anniversary was in aug)
She came home and said "You want to give up?" I just walked away...I have not made any decisions to continue or not. Im not going to get counciling. I did nothing to require it. She needs a shrink and I hope it helps her become a better human...
my 2 cents

Pardon me, but what are you still doing living under the same roof with her?

hesux
10-29-2008, 08:04 PM
Thanks for posting your story. I will be married 16 years in April. I know exactly how you felt when she chose the other person, that pain was so unbearable.
I can't believe she even wanted to get in touch with this guy? Did it really matter after all those years? He obviously gave her something she was needing.........or that she thought she needed.
I would love to give H another chance, and have him back because my kids miss him so. But the problem is that the TRUST is gone and it isn't coming back anytime soon.
My H came by today to get more stuff, and he told me that I shocked him by kicking him out. He also told me he deserved it. I told him I hoped he would go to OW, because she is a total loser and that is what he deserves. He said he is not seeing her.
Now, why the heck would he break up with her now that he is "free?"
Is the excitement gone now that I have told everybody what he was doing?
This is such a crazy time.
The big question here is do you trust her? If you don't, it just won't work.
Kicking my H out of the house was a really really hard thing to do. But, it was the right thing to do. I explained to my kids that when trust is gone, you have nothing left. I am hoping that they will learn from thier fathers mistake. I hope I have shown them that nobody deserves to be treated like that, no matter what. I hope they value themselves enough to never put up with the kind of treatment I did. (the cheating, lying.) I put up with his indecision for about a week, that was all I could take.
I hope you and your W are able to work it out. It must be really difficult to know she chose him over you at one point.
Question- Did she write that e/mail knowing you would read it? Seems like alot of stuff in there was for your benefit?

He is staying at his sisters and seems very unhappy.

holikdad
10-30-2008, 07:28 AM
Unfortunately it was my idea that she contact him because I could still see she had some pain over it. I thought if she called him and explained to him what was happening in her life at that time she could unload the guilt she carried for that situation. To bad I ended up with pie on my face. This goes to show me that it's not always best to be the "nice guy".

What she felt she was needing was more affection. I gave her affection and attention, but it wasn't enough. In my mind what she was looking for was what people only have at the beginning of a relationship, and of course after 15 years of marriage our relationship wasn't like that. My biggest problem with her saying that is that our marriage was really good. Even after 15 years we'd still have sex once or twice a week, I still did little things for her like bring her flowers or get her favorite candy if I was out shopping by myself. As a matter of fact all of her work girlfriends were always jealous of her because their husbands didn't do anything.

I remember reading or hearing somewhere that most of the time people cheat because they don't have the guts to go to their spouse and say "I don't love you anymore, I want a divorce", and from everything I've seen I think that this is true.

I don't trust my W anymore, do I think it'll come back, yes over time. I had her send me the emails that she and the OM exchanged after this was all out in the open and they reminded me of letters you write to a girlfriend in high school. Only one of them was sexual in nature, they were mostly "How do I love you, let me count the ways". Which I thought were extremely childish and infantile.

It's extremely difficult to know that she choose him over me, especially four times. She did CC me in the email she sent to him, so I know that a lot of the stuff in there was written for my benefit.

At this point I'm being very cautious, I'm watching her telephone and texting activity closely, that's probably why she is always now telling me where she is, or if she leaves the office with a friend for a break. If I find out that they are still in contact with each other then that's it for her and she'll have to leave. At this point I'm resigned to keep her around to allow her to make up for what she has done, but if I find even the smallest sign of sneakiness or future contact with the OM, then she'll have to pack a bag and go.

Ravage
10-30-2008, 11:55 AM
I'm glad your working things out, some marriages should not be saved and some marriages work out for the better. It's very rare but it does happen. But remember you must be resolute in your ultimatum. If she does it again and shows no capacity to change she needs to go! period! Cheaters, former cheaters always think that when the dust dies down they can do it again, relapse. Let her know now, that the bull**** is ova!

SuckerFree
10-30-2008, 04:22 PM
Help! Help! I'm drowning in irony.

ShiningStar
10-30-2008, 07:44 PM
QUOTE: In my mind what she was looking for was what people only have at the beginning of a relationship, and of course after 15 years of marriage our relationship wasn't like that.

You sounded like a guy that did alot to keep the spark alive with flowers etc.... So many people think that because they've been married a long time that the exciting things you once did and felt is over. Not true - and one of the biggest reasons why marriages fall apart. If you can make something feel new again and you have TWO people that are willing to put the effort into it then there is no reason not to do it. If you have the mindset that things are supposed to go stale after you're married you are setting the table for it to be exactly that - stale.

KATURN
10-31-2008, 12:48 PM
People get so caught up in the new rush...my ex lived for the new and lost interest when a relationship neared one year of age. This new stuff is just the fluff the real is wonderful because what is better than love and trust built over time? Many forget what really matters in life.

holikdad
02-25-2009, 09:19 AM
I was reading my original post from last year and I thought everyone should do this, kind of give a what the heck has been going on, so here it goes.

My W and I are still together, I haven't forgiven her, but she has been doing all the right things to keep us going. She hasn't spoken or contacted the OM since that day the beginning of Sept '08. I've been keeping a tab on her cell phone calls and emails, if she's in contact with him it's only through her work phone and email. I made her very aware if this happens again, then it's over, no amount of crying or begging will set it straight.

Actually the good thing is I feel that if I find out that she's doing it again I won't have a problem severing everything. I'm still distanced emotionally, but everything is going well.

She has been spending every day making up for what she's done and that definitely what needs to happen. I didn't do anything so I shouldn't have to mend anything.

not sure how to feel
09-23-2009, 08:07 AM
I was reading my original post from last year and I thought everyone should do this, kind of give a what the heck has been going on, so here it goes.

My W and I are still together, I haven't forgiven her, but she has been doing all the right things to keep us going. She hasn't spoken or contacted the OM since that day the beginning of Sept '08. I've been keeping a tab on her cell phone calls and emails, if she's in contact with him it's only through her work phone and email. I made her very aware if this happens again, then it's over, no amount of crying or begging will set it straight.

Actually the good thing is I feel that if I find out that she's doing it again I won't have a problem severing everything. I'm still distanced emotionally, but everything is going well.

She has been spending every day making up for what she's done and that definitely what needs to happen. I didn't do anything so I shouldn't have to mend anything.

Holikdad,

She chose him over you several times, it sounds like there was more to their relationship than she has admitted. You said you were gone on business at times.
Are you sure she never met up with him? Are iier If I were you sure this it the first time she has done something like this?
She chose to leave you and your children after all these years for someone she wasn't intimate with, who does that? sounds very suspicious. It was more than emotional and she will do it again.

I would be very careful with her and not let your guard down.

holikdad
09-23-2009, 08:22 AM
Holikdad,

She chose him over you several times, it sounds like there was more to their relationship than she has admitted. You said you were gone on business at times.
Are you sure she never met up with him? Are iier If I were you sure this it the first time she has done something like this?
She chose to leave you and your children after all these years for someone she wasn't intimate with, who does that? sounds very suspicious. It was more than emotional and she will do it again.

I would be very careful with her and not let your guard down.

To be honest I don't know if she met up with him or not. She said she hadn't yet but was planning on meeting him in a month when she was going on a "girls weekend". I found out later he had already bought the airline ticket to meet her which he couldn't use. I believe he told his wife that it was a business trip. He does live in Missouri and we live in Maryland so it would be pretty much impossible for her to have driven, even half way, out to meet him, or fly out to meet him without me knowing.

I don't know if she'll do it again, or had done something like this in the past that I never knew, but I do know if I catch her at it again then all bets are off and she will have to leave. One of the things I've learned through all of this is that as a person I deserve respect, and I respect myself to not have to go through this with a woman who will constantly disrespect me.

I do have to be honest though and say my "gut" has been going off for the last couple of weeks, and I don't know why?? She hasn't started acting differently towards me, and nothing else has changed, but I can't get over this feeling that she may be in contact with him again and I don't know why.

I checked her phone the other day and it contained 100 sent and 100 inbox texts which is the max that the phone carries, each new message deletes the oldest one in either box. So if she was texting him and deleting them they would contain less than 100. I also looked through her purse to see if she had maybe a second cell phone or something else that would incriminate her but I found nothing.

So I'm not sure why I'm getting this feeling? The only thing that's really bothering me is that I've learned over the last year to trust my gut, but I haven't found anything to prove it right.

not sure how to feel
09-24-2009, 12:33 PM
holikdad,

I have to say that I too had that gut feeling in the past and sometimes ignored it but then I would get it again. When I did I would pursue this gut feeling and end up being right about things she didn't tell me.

Finally I left and move on. Couple of years later I ran into her and we started a freindship again and after a while a relationship and remarried. I felt like everything had passed.

I always was a little suspicious about wether I new everything but was past it all. Many many years later I got that gut feeling again. I couldn't ignore it and investigated it, I couldn't find anything but I was still bothered by it so I kept digging.

I still didn't find anything except her owing more money on credit cards than I was aware of. I confronted her very serious like and told her I new she was keeping secrets and I was only going to ask her once to tell me.

She confessed that the OM from before had contacted her by email and she didn't respond until this year and that she talked to him on the phone a few times but it was only cordial and that nothing happened.

She said she ended the communication because he brought up the past and his feelings for her and how he missed that. She said she told him not to contact her again.

I didn't believe her and eventually asked her to take a polygraph. She was hesitant but finally agreed.

She believed I was going to set the appointment and told me she had to confess something else. She wasn't lying about contact with OM but several years prior to cheating with OM, she had cheated with a different guy from work.

So your gut feeling can be pretty good but not always. Because after that I continued to get that gut feeling there was more and periodically kept pushing for the whole truth. I never had her take the polygraph a year ago. Its been a year and I finally had her really take the polygraph test because my gut feeling kept coming back. She passed the test, there is no more for her to tell me. This time the gut wasn't exactly right but I'm glad I followed it and got the test.

Consider a polygraph if your gut feeling is still bugging you.