True Stories of
Cheating Wives
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i am 47 years old married for 24 years
we have three children who are 22 20 and 18 years old. Two boys and
1 girl 18 who is the baby. my wife is a good looking lady and all
the men like to hit on her. this went to her head. she thinks that
she can do better. she told me that she does not love me and that
she hasn't loved me in 8 years. what do u do ? i am a hard working
person. i have my own construction biz. my two sons work with me and
my baby is studying to be a nurse. i think i did my part as a dad.
she as in my wife told me that she stayed because of the kids. well
the kids are not kids anymore so i guess we will not make 25. |
NEVER did I ever think it would
happen to me. 19 years together. I thought we had a good
foundation. A beautiful home in the country, both with professional
careers, well respected by our peers. An above average sex life. I
thought things were good.
We started socializing with a new couple that worked with us (yes
we all worked at the same company since day one). We dined
together. Went to the movies together. Partied together. They had
two beautiful teenagers. We had no children (not really by our
choice but by God's). One night we were at their house at a party
and something to me just didn't seem right. You know, after being
with someone for 20 years it is like a sixth sense. The morning
after the party, I got up early and went on to our computer. I
started checking the history and low and behold, I found numerous
email accounts that I had no idea about. So I started trying to
crack the passwords. Never use a password that is the name of your
dog! Too easy! I couldn't believe my eyes! The next day she moved
out. He left his wife and kids within a week. I was devastated.
Lost 33 pounds in one month. I went to work and they were there.
Giggling like little teenagers. I thought I was going to lose my
mind. The next month was pure hell. I found over 100 emails to and
from her to other men that to this day I still do not know who they
are. She always told me she was going mall shopping with her female
friends. She always came home with packages and some dinner for me.
Why would I have any doubt where she was. The next month brought my
friends to my door, telling me "stories" they had heard about her.
Why did they not tell me before? Did they not want to hurt my
feelings? I guess if I was in their shoes I would have kept my
mouth shut too. Well, the divorce cost me over $9000 and almost two
years of my life. I still think about it everyday. Some days it is
like it never happened and other days it is in living color. I
still can't believe she is gone. Well, she has moved in with him
now. I guess they are in love. His wife and I still meet
periodically to get it off our chests. We were both betrayed to two
rats. I will learn to love again. I will learn to trust again. But
I will never forget the pain that adultery causes. I will live with
that every day of my life now. Shame on them both. |
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We just had our 10th wedding
anniversary. I do love my wife and have always been faithful. About
3 years into our marriage she confessed to an affair with a mutual
friend who is also married. I have tired ever since to forgive her
and I believe I have. However, once the trust is broken, it seems
impossible to restore the sweetness that existed in the beginning
of the relationship. Now, 7 years after the fact, the past
infidelity seems to have caused an underlying rot in our
relationship. I can't say much except it is very sad. We only have
one life. Why do people destroy it this way? |
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I am in a dilemma. I have been
married for 8 years and I think my wife is going to cheat on me
with another man. But I wonder if I am at fault but dont think so
and could use an opinion or two. About 3 years ago we both started
to get sexually venturesome and spoke about threesomes. We had
several of them with 3 different men on several occasions and once
with another women. TheY were good and shared between us in our
love for our pleasures. One of the men whom it happened twice with
was extremely handsome, young and lets say well endowed with size
and stamina in the extreme. Naturally my wife and I spoke about our
shared escapades and had sex on it making it even more stimulating
for us both. My wife, in our discussions and at my asking told me
that she was his best sex. I did feel a little hurt as I am good
and was her best until this. I was assured that I pleased her
immensely and that what we did was just sex and sharing erotica in
our love. One of my wife’s virtues has always been honesty. Like
all relationships there are ups and downs and stressfull times.
Well a few days ago my beautiful wife was on the computer and then
went to shower and accidentally the computer on online. I was
curious and fought the temptation but I looked in her mailbox. She
has been corresponding with this man that was her best in sex. He
now lives about 300 miles from us and he had written her several
times telling her how he wanted to have sex with her again but
alone and that he would be willing to come to our area and take a
hotel room if she could get away. My wife replied by saying that
she wanted to meet him sometime in this new year about half way.
Seeing this freaked me out and I recalled how my wife told me a
while ago that she wanted to one day just take a day or two and get
away herself. To drive to with no place in mind and just check into
some hotel, watch tv, relax, have a drink and get away solely to be
with herself from the tensions of life, work, kids etc. I now hook
up her saying that and the emails that I saw between them. What
should I do or what does one think. Our relationship is strong.
What should I say or do when the time comes (I think it will) that
she comes to me and says that she just wants to get away for a day
or so. |
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About 5 years ago, I started to have
problems in my marriage. It started with my suspicion with my wife
ex boyfriend sending a letter to her in the mail, which i found by
accident. It had mention that his e mail address was included in
their correspondence. My wife worked for a school district office
and had access to internet at her work. I checked her email one day
while she was out with her friends for lunch. On her computer where
email from her ex and she was hiding this from me by way of her
office. I made copies but did not tell her that I did. I was also a
school employee and had access to her computer w/o her knowing.
This went on for about three months, before I asked about it, I
discovered she had a picture of her ex hidden in her planner. Real
tricky these cheaters, and we almost broke up over that. She said
it was nothing, but why hide it if it was nothing I say. Anyway, we
moved after that year so as to break the connection. We moved some
500 miles to a new town, and started over. I again was employed by
a school system and my wife was not. We had a home computer and we
used it as well. She had gotten an AOL account without me knowing
about and had encryptions put into her email addresses to dwarf my
attempts to investigate. This went on about 3-4 months, and to my
surprise, it was not the former ex she was having an affair with,
but another ex from her working days before I met her. She was
explicit in her comments to him and used AOL instant messenger
service to do this. She knew to do this during the days I was away
on coaching trips and stayed late at schools. I found the
information while scrolling down on the hard drive, and we
separated after that. She could not deny the facts, because I
printed all of the stuff and still have to this day. So people it
can be done, but it takes work. Today, I have spy software on my
computer for such things and my wife has returned after 2 years and
found out that the grass is greener but not as abundant and
reliable as the former pasture. So he knows now, that I have the
spy network and I have the upper hand. Believe me you, these things
happen. She said it was innocent and did not hurt anybody, but she
is not me or you. each of us has their little quirks to your
relationships. I never trust no one again on the internet. |
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My wife of 3 years started cheating
on me with the well-built older guy next door. She's in her 30's,
I'm 40, and he's 50. It ends up she was staying home to work during
the day to spend the hours with him, in our house. It seems to be a
purely physical thing, between them, and I know I'm powerless to
stop it. At this point, I'm wondering if I should just look the
other way. He's unmarried. We have no kids. He does things for her
that I can't do, hence the "physical affair." I love her too much
to leave her, and I don't, myself, want anyone else. |
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A few months ago I discovered that my
wife of ten years had been having an online affair with an
ex-boyfriend that had been going on for 4/5 months. I, like most
people who consider themselves to be in a loving, committed
relationship, never considered the possibility of betrayal, but the
atmosphere between us had been such that it lead me to make the
uncomfortable decision to download some keylogging software and
take a look into her emails, of which the password had been closely
guarded for obvious reasons. The software, although showing emails
that were suspicious, did not yield any proof, however it did log
her side of conversations in MSN Messenger, where most of the
affair had taken place. There had been a fairly tame conversation
due to my being in the house at the time, but also a full
confession to a friend which finally hit me with the truth. Well,
as I'm sure you can imagine, our world turned on its head when I
confronted here with the truth. I received all the traditional
answers of "I promise you I'll end it..." and "It wasn't reality,
it didn't mean anything!" Can I just say, for anyone out there who
is considering an online affair that IT DOES MEAN SOMETHING! I get
a little sick of people saying "It's not like she slept with him."
as if that somehow should make it easier to deal with months of
lies and intentional deceit! I had always sworn, after past
relationships that had ended due to infidelity, that I would never
let anyone treat me like that again. But this time round I have two
children to consider and a relationship that I have invested so
much time into that we made the decision to try to get past this.
I've never stayed around to 'pick up the pieces' before, and god
knows its a steep learning curve, but its been three months since
the discovery and we feel like we're heading in the right
direction. Don't get me wrong, this year has been the most
tormented of my life, all those months wondering why I felt so
unwelcome in her presence, the gut feeling that all was not right
without knowing the reason, the months afterwards full of
resentment and suspicion. I know that I still have issues to deal
with, the trust between us has been severely undermined, with my
thoughts of how easy it would be for it to all start up again, her
obvious suspicions that I'm constantly spying on her every move
when using the computer, things are not healed yet... but my
overriding feeling is that they will be and we shall have to learn
to live with the scars. To all the injured parties out there... my
heart goes out to you. You have been dealt a crushing blow, but
speaking from experience I can know start to see a light at the end
of the tunnel (and it no longer feels like a freight train heading
in my direction!!!) The key, as always is keep talking. Realizing
that we have far to much to sort out between us, we have made a
concerted effort to talk whenever one of us feels the need to
unload their thoughts, and if for no other reason it will give you
some idea as to where your partner is, rather than trying to second
guess each second of the day. Good luck to you all and remember,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." |
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My wife and I were in our fourth year
of a "happy" marriage, when I became suspicious of her on-line
behaviour. A few times in the previous year, she would quickly
"click-off" the screen when I walked by. I didn't think too much of
this, until a few months ago after I dropped her sons and their
friends off at a late-evening movie. When I returned home, I told
my wife that I would stay up to pick up the kids at
11:00pm,especially since it was a stormy night. My wife was very
insistent that I go to bed, and that she would pick them up. Well,
I thought that this was unusual, but i agreed. Shortly after I laid
down, i heard the unmistakable sound of her at the computer
keyboard, with the usual pauses associated with "chat". I got the
most awful gut-feeling, and after a few minutes, quietly walked up
to her, and once she saw me, she hastily clicked-off and became
very defensive. In the days to follow, i went to the library and
researched the subject of "infidelity". A very disturbing book
actually encourages women to have affairs 50 miles or more from
home. The most valuable information that I obtained however, was
from internet sites, and THE most informative was
www.chatcheaters.com! Almost every one of the warning signs on the
chart were pointing to her recent behaviours. From the
"quick-click" to the calling cards and sexier wardrobe. The truth
came out nine days after the "movie night" which I described
previously. I was searching for the phone bill which was missing
from the rest of the monthly bills. For the first time in our
marriage I opened her purse and there it was! there were late-night
and early morning (after I normally leave for work) long-distance
calls to a major midwestern city, 120 miles from where we live, all
to the same number. i dialed this number twice, just to make sure
that I didn't misdial. When I asked my wife who she knew in this
city by this name, and where she had been going every other
Saturday when her kids were visiting her ex, enough of the truth
came out to end our marriage, and my dream of a life of marital
bliss with who I thought was my soul mate. For anyone who gets that
certain "gut-feeling" when they notice odd activity on-line from
their spouse, to get ready for the worst. The truth hurts, but its
best that you know. |
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Tell me am I nuts or is it love? My
wife is no looker not ugly by any means. let me say that first but
she has a heart of gold and I love her dearly. I first found out
about her cheating when she sent herself a letter from ONE of her
lovers to our home PC. She said it had been over for 9 months and
he wanted to start it up again. She just wanted to read it some
more to be sure she was doing the right thing. After telling her I
knew and going to counseling I found out about 4 more guys.
Possibly more. She used to be on the PC all night. I have hundreds
of pages of cyber sex thanks to key logger. I said to her one night
what do you think of cyber sex. LOL, She said EWWWWWW! How could
anyone do that. Then I showed her the papers. Who is laughing now.
After going through cell phone bills and computer files here and at
her work. Again thanks to key logger. I have her getting screwed at
least 30 times over the past two years. She does not go near the PC
anymore and has become my wife again. But those words are carved in
my mind from her first letter. |
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My wife and I were married for 23
years when I discovered the romance she was carrying on with
someone from Holland. It turned out to be her boyfriend when she
was 18 years old and they never had much time together because she
immigrated to America with her family which are Indonesian. I
noticed the emails in Dutch and she said they were people she knew
in Holland, like relatives. Well, we lived on the same block with
three more of her relatives and soon they showed a lot of
excitement and they would run back and forth to each others house
and naturally speak in Dutch because I didn't no what they were
saying. So I copied the emails and had them interpreted by a fellow
employee that understood Dutch. Everything and anything was writing
in their emails and how life together would be so glorious. This
guy was also married. It all exploded when she told me that we
cannot have sex together because it was of concern to her distant
lover and that she will also sleep in one of the other bedrooms.
and I was the bad guy because I was not understanding. That came
from my wife and her family. I am selling my house and moving to
another state. Life goes on. |
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My wife was cheating on me with a boy
13 years younger with a criminal record while she was carrying my
son. I was a Golf Professional and when I was out of town she would
give this person oral sex in my house. Even after my son was born
they continued, I noticed everything I did was wrong to her so I
hired a computer hacker to fly in from out of state and BINGO! My
gut instinct was right pages and pages of their x rated affair all
to my surprise. Well I busted her and we are now divorced and she
has fallen to rock bottom. Remember if you are going to f-up, go
up. I made 500,000 a year he was unemployed, your going to get
busted no matter what so you better have someone who can support
you when you are kicked to the curb. |
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I was married for seven years and we
together had a five year old daughter. I worked and she stayed at
home. There were some rocky times in the marriage, but never did I
think of cheating on my spouse. I began to notice things when she
was at the computer. Her chatting to people in group areas. I
thought nothing of it at the time. One night as I laid in bed and
could not sleep. I got up to see what my wife was doing. When I
stepped into the study, she quickly closed a window or two on the
computer. This raised my curiosity as to what she was doing and why
she wanted me not to see it. Time passed and I didn’t think of it
anymore. Then one day while my wife was out shopping I was surfing
the net and found a key logging program. I downloaded it and
installed the program on the PC before she got back home. I went to
work on the night shift the same day. The next day when I got home
I went to bed, got up later in the day and my wife was out running
errands so I decided to load up the key logging program and see
what went on while I was at work. I was shocked to find out that as
soon as I left the house she was getting on the internet and into
more pronounced chatrooms than she would if I were here. She was
looking to chat with men in our area that were single or something
of that nature. I found out multiple logins and email accounts that
I had no knowledge of. She was living a double life the second I
was away from home. One being the loving housewife and mother, the
other being the unhappy homemaker trying to find someone to spice
up her life. She found exactly that. I began a very set routine
monitoring the PC and watching her every move while I was away. A
smooth talking man local to my wife by chance connected with her
one night in chat and that lead to a more than an internet chat
session. All the time she thought she was being covert and having a
double romance. I was watching, reading, and crying in between. I
choose to not tell her that I knew and decided to try to be the
best husband that I could to her. My decision was to see if I could
win her back on my own without outside help. This did not work. It
ruined my life. I was also leading a double life then. The good
husband, and in between, the crying soul mate. I stuck it out as I
had decided to do. I did not tell her that I knew. Instead, I got a
lawyer and started working on divorcing her. Her tryst led to a
meeting at a local hotel on a Monday morning. Three days later my
lawyers office served her divorce papers. She was crushed, and knew
exactly why. I would have never known of any of this if it wasn’t
for a monitoring system that I placed on OUR PC. If it wasn’t for
that key logging program, I would still probably be married to her
thinking everything is ok while she kissed me goodbye on my way to
work just waiting for me to leave so that "John Doe" could make a
visit. People if you have doubts, do not hesitate to do what I did.
It may save you heartaches and more in the long run. I would have,
should have, could have, done things differently, but that is hind
sight and if your reading this, then your probably suspecting
something as well. People aren’t always truthful. The point is to
find out what they aren’t being truthful about. |
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Keykatcher
1" plugs in to keyboard cable and computer.
"The truth hurts, but its best that you know."
Anonymous
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Break Free From the Affair - Strategies and Resources to break free from the affair in a marriage that work. "Is 'Not Knowing' Killing You Inside ... Or Your Marriage? Are You Tired of All The Lies And Excuses? Are You Afraid That You'll Confirm Your Suspicions? More Importantly, Will You Ever Find Happiness Again, If It Does Exist?"Should you spy or not? By Dr. Bob Huizenga
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