True
Stories of Cheating Husbands
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I first met the man who is now my
husband when I was 18 yrs old. I had returned to my home town (fiance
in tow) after graduating from boarding school and wanted to find my
old friend. I found out where her apartment was and went to visit
her. She was living with a guy ~ "A very cute one", I thought. I
was so happy for her and I thought we could all be friends, but
then my cousins started telling me that this guy was obsessing over
me. He said I was the hottest girl he'd ever seen around here (it's
a pretty small town) and that if i would give him a chance he would
make me the center of his world for the rest of our lives. It was
flattering, yes, but I was outraged. I wanted to tell my friend,
but I had never seen her so happy before. Luckily I didn't have to
worry about much because they broke up a few months later. My
fiance and I also began having some problems and I started going
out by myself more often. This guy and I started conversing more
frequently and soon they were were flirtations. Around this time my
fiance (who I discovered had slept with two other women) and I
moved away to try to "save our relationship". Three months later I
was back in my home town. My very first night in town, who should I
run into? I told him i wasn't ready to jump into another
relationship, but he was persistent. He said all the things a young
woman wants to hear, and he made me honestly believe in every word
he said. I can't remember a happier time in my life. I felt like a
queen ~ His Queen. We were married a year later. I believed him,
with every fiber of my being, when he said there could never be
anyone above me. This past weekend we were at a night club when I
noticed him talking to a very pretty girl who's also know to be
very promiscuous. TWICE I ignored it because I am not a jealous
person. As I said, my husband always made me feel like the sexiest
woman alive and I am very secure in myself. But the third time I
couldn't ignore. The way he went out of his way to run into her and
dance by her on the dance floor gave me a sick feeling. The way she
touched his arm and he touched her waist was very inappropriate.
Maybe they weren't kissing or hugging, but it was enough for me. I
am so lost. I feel like maybe I don't even know my husband, but in
the course of writing this story I realize I know him very, very
well. More than I would like to admit to myself. |
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I have always trusted one another
until about six month into our 14yr. We started going separate ways
not getting along always finding things to fight about it was
horrible. It now almost been a year since our separation and things
have not changed I feel they have gotten worse. 3monts after we
parted I had moved out with our 2 children. He moved a girl 11 yrs
younger than him into our house. The girl is 11 yrs older than our
daughter. I still love him and wish we could work things out. I have
never solely blamed him for all that has happened. A lot of couples
I have talked to say that he will come back but I do not know what
to do. He still pays all of our bills and picks our kids up when
ever they call him |
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My husbands best friend told me my
husband was seeing a girl at work so I ask my husband about it he
said it was a lie so I let it go a few days latter something told me
to look at his cell phone and he had the girls number programmed
into his phone so I called it and sure enough it was her I then
looked at the bill and they have called each about a month or so he
finally admitted to it but that was all it was he said I still fill
there’s more to it we are trying to work things out but its hard for
me I will never trust him again and trust is a big thing in a
relationship I don't no what to do about it I wish there’s a way to
find out for sure he still works with this girl and I cant deal with
it im under a lot of stress and im 11 weeks pregnant with our 4th
child please let me no what I can do to find out if there is more |
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I recently gave birth to a baby girl.
About 2 months later, in February, the baby and I flew to my home
state to visit my relatives. I had always known my husband often
chatted, but I thought since our daughter was born, he would change.
We stayed for a week and a half. When I got back everything was
weird. He was being stand-offish and just seemed annoyed with me.
One night I had just finished putting the baby to bed, I went into
the living room where he had fallen asleep on the sofa, he had been
using his laptop, and had sat it down on the floor beside the sofa.
I picked it up, thinking I was going to check my e-mail and then
turn it off. He had yahoo messenger on and had not signed off, and
this female was messaging him, asking when they could meet up again.
Again?!?! I then confronted her, asking who she was and telling her
who I was. She told me she had met up with him and then sent me
e-mail conversations which she has copied & pasted. I was so hurt
and angry. There is nothing else to tell. I know this woman's e-mail
address and everything, and am doing everything in my power not to
e-mail her. I just really want her to feel how much pain I felt and
anger. I am still angry about this and I can't seem to get over it.
Consequently this has made me untrusting and bitter towards the
opposite sex. |
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I met my husband when I was 16 and he
was 17, and at 17&18 yrs old we were married.(no I wasn't pregnant)
a year later we had our first child, then 4 yrs later we had twins.
We have now been married for 27 years, about 8 mo. ago I found out
my husband was having an affair with his secretary. She is also
married and has a 4yr. old son. I was so devastated and hurt that I
tried to kill myself, I ended up in the hospital(nut ward) I felt as
if my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on how could this
have happened, I seen warning signs with her first and I told my
husband this he just said no way she was not his type not to worry.
In time I seen changes in him, I knew but had to prove it. I love
him with all my heart and soul, so how could he do this to me? We
have since then gotten back together and are rebuilding our
marriage. So far so good. One thing that still bothers me is that I
never got to confront the other women, but I will! |
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It was Mother's Day and my husband did
not opt to go out with the children and me for dinner. Instead, he
stayed at home to mow the lawn; which he was still doing when we
returned home. Unfortunately, he had not logged out of the IM, which
I had never used. While attempting to access email, I find that I am
getting instant messages from two women, neither of whom seem to
know he was married. He swears that they are internet friends of his
gay sister. He swore that the personal ad I found was not his and it
was probably done by one of the guys at work to "set him up" you
know a "revenge thing". He disavowed all knowledge of the porno
chatrooms I detected when I looked in the cookies. He did,
eventually, admit to this; but I am just "over reacting for millions
of men in this country look at porn." |
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Well, I am a mother of three - two
grown and gone; however, the youngest came in our later years and is
the joy of my life. He will not admit to any wrongdoing but says he
doesn't want a divorce for he, too, loves his daughter. I have
chosen to stay - so many years invested and our youngest daughter
needs and adores him. Our elder girls have been supportive and are
hoping we can resolve this problem. I am very pragmatic and I know
that my first responsibility is to my children for they are grown
and gone so quickly. However, it hurts so much to know that not only
have you been cheated on, but your spouse has lied to you. The
internet filters are now on high - he knows why; but we pretend it
is to protect our daughter, which it is if it keeps her parents
together and the smut out. Maybe it is one of those mid-life things.
As I have trawled the personal ads, yet again this evening to see if
he's back at it, I can't help but wonder how many of these men are
married. I am waiting for the day I am healed enough to stop
checking. I want to trust him AND my computer again. Your website is
a source of enlightenment and its address caught his attention.
Thank you for posting our stories, for the words of encouragement,
and for the links to ways we can resolve the problem. Alas, I now
have two friends who have also found need of this site. It is
amazing how something so good can be used for something so very
evil. Again, thank you for letting me vent. To all, may your lives
be healed whether victim or cheater. |
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It is awful what is going on out
there. Wow, what a great site, if only I had known about this, I may
have been able to saved a 30 yr. marriage; I knew something was
wrong when my husband was at computer late at night, clicking off
when I came up, pretending to be playing games on computer, but
chatting with Russian lady(24 yrs younger) he ended up marrying a
month after our divorce, when he told me he had no one to be with. I
guess tons of folks have felt that gut retching feeling when
computers are brought into our homes. It is awful what is going on
out there. be careful! |
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My husband and I have been together
for two and a half years. We really don't seem to have any major
problems, and I know I'm an insecure person at times, but we
recently got into the whole internet thing and I found out that he's
been talking to a woman online. I asked him about it and he says he
won't do it anymore. He also says that it wasn't anything to worry
about. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Am I
overreacting? Is the whole internet thing something I should be
concerned about? I love him and we have a great relationship. I do
not want this to be an issue between us. Am I nuts? |
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Well this is a hard story to write for
the wounds are still very fresh . Don't think they will ever be
healed .. I was married for 25 years to a man that I trusted with my
life and would have bet my life that cheating was the one thing he
wasn't capable of.. but here goes little did i know the last 2 years
of our marriage he was sleeping with who I thought was my best
friend she and i did everything together and so did her husband and
mine.. she was at my house everyday we shared every meal together
and our two youngest children were best friend.. if only i had know
the truth.. friend she wasn't i had open heart surgery 3 years ago
and guess who slept in my bed the same night ...when i found out
last year i kicked him out took everything and set out to destroy
him .. guess i did for 33 days after our divorce was final her
passed away from a stroke...now she has the nerve to pretend she did
nothing wrong and and that you are suppose to sleep with your
friends and if i had not jumped the gun and divorced my husband so
quickly that it was just a thing and would have ended.. without
anyone getting hurt |
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How sad that the Internet with so many
positive sides also holds a "darkside" that can lead many ignorant
people into something that can overtake you like any other substance
abuse. My husband and I remet after 38 years through the Internet
(we used to date in high school when we were only 17 years old).
However, our "new" relationship was a long distance one for a year
before we got married, and unfortunately I didn't really know the
man I was marrying. Talking on the phone or through the Internet
does not give you the true personality of that person. The Internet
affords one to embelish themselves, and many people tend to say
things they wouldn't really say if "face to face". Our marriage is
not a good one, and after being on my own for the past 18 years, I
find that being married to my "Internet love" has been a big
mistake, but one that I am trying to stay with. and still trying to
save. We have many problems, and one of them is that my husband is
continuing to write to some other ex-girlfriends on his computer at
work. (He doesn't write to them from home). I found out he was doing
this after finding several e-mail addresses in his wallet. How sad
that I have become a "victim" of what brought he and I together! Be
careful everyone out there. The computer is a Godsend, but can also
be used for a lot of evil doings! |
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I left my husband, took the children and
filed for divorce when I found out how far his on-line romances were
going. There were many times I was tired, bored, frustrated, angry and
downright lonely through our 25 years together, but I tried to keep it
together because we had something of value: our family. I was never the
perfect woman, wife or mother, but then who is perfect? So many men and
women are cheating via the internet. So many homes and families are
being broken apart. So many children are suffering. It makes me wonder
if there is a bond strong enough to stop a person from destroying a
life and a history built over many years. We are all searching for the
same thing: love and acceptance for the person we are. I find it highly
suspect that we would be able to find that from a stranger through the
internet rather than in our own homes; from the people we have lived
with and loved, suffered with, endured tragedies together and laughed
and made lasting memories with. But it must be so because it is
happening all over the world. In my situation not only my children and
myself suffered, but her children and family also suffered. How many
lives were touched by this unfortunate incident that two people started
in a chat room? Maybe a warning should pop up as soon as someone enters
a chat room: Warning!!!! This could be hazardous to your life! |
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I am a mother of two children 4 and 2
and i have always suspected my husband of cheating. Two days ago he
told me not only had he had a one night stand, but the woman has
conceived a child and he is now 8 months old. Now i have to make the
decision of what to do. |
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A few years back, I bought a
computer, and my husband quickly started chatting. After worrying
that he would run off with some internet hoochie, I started spying,
and even figured out his passwords. Well, he was not really
carrying on with any women he never met, he was carrying on with
his EX WIFE! I've never been able to find out if they actually saw
each other in person or not, but she lives in my town. We did not
divorce, but I will not forget what he did. |
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I was married for 25 years to a
successful professional, a man who was admired for his integrity
and honesty by friends and family. We subscribed to internet
services, I came in the room one night and saw he was on a porn
site, he made a joke about it, said he was just curious. I thought
he added a few more evening business errands after that, one night
he was really late and said he had to pull the car over and sleep
he was afraid to drive tired. We were planning a ceremony to renew
our vows (his idea) he was getting ready for an annual business
conference in Phoenix. I came home unexpectedly and he must have
just shut off the monitor quickly to keep me from seeing anything.
I decided to check my email, turned on the monitor and there was a
page of GAY personals ads for Phoenix! Then I checked his computer
files and found female and male porn photos. When I confronted him
he said he'd been meeting people for sex "for a few years." We have
2 children, now 16 and 10, who were 12 and 6 when this happened. We
went through family counseling, separated homes 2 years later, and
I moved with the girls from the suburbs to a horse ranch in the
Sierra foothills, (a lifelong dream) and commuting to a great job
in the valley. I thought we had a good marriage, but I'm much
happier now, so it's hard to say. The damage to the girls was
devastating, however. We're healing, but we have very little
respect for him. My 10 year old visited him this summer and says he
"has a profile on the internet." She's become a wise snooper. |
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After 31 years of marriage, my now
ex-husband, left me for a women he met in a game playing chat room.
They played spades together for about a year and started chatting
through instant messages. Every time I would come in and ask him
when he was going to come downstairs and come to bed he would hold
papers in front of the screen or hit a button to wipe the screen
clean. I thought it was porn, I knew he had copied plenty of photos
off, so I didn't think much until I found the plane tickets and
intercepted calls from down south. He gave me some dumb story, as
he traveled for his business and had clients he met different
places. Our love life was better during this time, than the
previous few years and we had just purchase a home for the first
time in our married life. He had me quit my job to help run his
home office, only I was not allowed access to the computer as I
would mess his files up. I wish this site were available to me
three years ago. We are now divorce, not because of me or the gal
down south, when she found out he was married she dumped him. He
wanted to be alone, so he said, we had been together for a total of
35 years and he wanted to be alone. It took him over two years to
divorce me, but only one month to move in with the harlot he lives
with now. We have been divorce only a little over four months, he
has gone through bankruptcy, two jobs and now is living off his new
love in another state. He has no contact with me, including failing
to pay his maintenance, or with his three children. He is a sad
man, this internet kills more than families, it destroys,
literally, the people on it. |
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I recently found out that my husband
has been spending a lot of time on line visiting internet porn
sites and sex chat rooms. I felt angry and betrayed. When I
confronted him he was very defensive and said some very hurtful
things to me. He called me names like "fat ass". I am overweight
but he has never acted as though it is a problem. He says he is
sorry now and didn't mean what he said. The problem is I can hardly
even look at him now. I feel like he is dissatisfied with me and
our marriage. I am considering divorce since I don't think I will
ever feel the same now. |
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When my daughter was 10 months old I
found out my husband had an affair with a co-worker. It was so hard
to overcome this. He swore that it didn't go beyond a kiss....bur I
don't buy the bull. It had been 1 1/2 years since this happened. I
recently met someone who works in the same building where I work.
He is married and has 3 kids, he is also going thru some hard times
at home with his wife. I am attracted to him and always swore that
I would never cheat on my husband regardless of what he did to me.
Well this guy has told me on various occasions that he has feelings
for me. Nothing has happened with this guy. But lately he has been
on my mind and I'm confused and don't know what to do. Any advise
out there? Has anyone been in this type of situation? |
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I know my husband has been talking to
other women on the internet. I have caught him and he tries to lie
out of it. Is there a way to see his e-mails without knowing his
pass word? But most of the time he is using AOL Instant Messages. |
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Keykatcher
1" plugs in to keyboard cable and computer.
"The truth hurts, but its best that you know."
Anonymous
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Break Free From the Affair - Strategies and Resources to break free from the affair in a marriage that work. "Is 'Not Knowing' Killing You Inside ... Or Your Marriage? Are You Tired of All The Lies And Excuses? Are You Afraid That You'll Confirm Your Suspicions? More Importantly, Will You Ever Find Happiness Again, If It Does Exist?"Should you spy or not? By Dr. Bob Huizenga
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